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  1. #1
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    Default XP People and their mouths

    speaking before their brain kicks in! So, dh and I are way excited to be having another boy. We have two, we know boys are wonderful! Yes, it would have also been nice to have a girl-give dd the sister that she wanted, use my girl stuff again. BUT ITS A HEALTHY BABY!! I have had SEVERAL people hear that we are having another boy and have their reaction be "oh, I'm sorry" or "oh, bummer" What the heck, people! After several m/c's, I'm just happy the baby is healthy and growing! Even if we were not planning on more kids (which we always were) I'd be happy with 3 boys and 1 girl.

    I went to a baby shower for one of my very best friends who is moving next week (due in November) so we had it early (it was just a "sprinkle", as she has 3 other kids). At that party were a bunch of mutual friends, but not ones I really do anything with or see more than just in passing at church or other gatherings. One of them (who has 2 boys and then a girl) was the one to say "oh, I'm sorry" complete with a reassuring tap on my shoulder. I said "um, why? We're really happy to have a boy". She seemed shocked and said "oh, well...as long as you're happy, that's great" I would think she would "get it" since she lost a little girl right before her dd at like 17 weeks. I then told her that we always have a chance if we want to try for another girl, since we are not done. She seemed shocked that I am pregnant with #4 and talking about #5 (which was ALWAYS our plan--at least 5 with the last 2 being 18m-2y apart).

    It just makes me frustrated. And I'm wondering if it is a gender thing. If I had 2 girls and 1 boy, would it be the same if I were pg with another girl? I actually asked a few of my friends at church today--one who had 2 girls and a boy and then a baby girl last year. She said no one every apologized to her, the most they said was "oh, your poor boy to be the only one" not like "poor YOU to have another girl". I talked to another friend who has the exact same as me--boy, girl, boy (almost the same ages too!) and is pg due in Dec with a boy. I asked about reactions she had and she said she has had people tell her sorry too, but she said she understood because she had told those people they were hoping for a girl and to be done, but now she's thinking about a 5th to have another girl.

    Anyways, sorry for the long rant. I just am getting sick of people opening their mouths without using their brains.
    Holly
    DS 2/04
    DD 10/05
    DS 7/08
    DS 1/12
    #5--a GIRL due 3/2/14!

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  2. #2
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    I would be frustrated too. I must say I was hoping for one of each with the twins, and I know my kids were too. However when we found out both babies were healthy we were so happy, cause yes, after two consecutive losses, you are just so happy to be having a baby! I think that dad's with three daughters and 1 son get the "I'm sorry's" too. Somehow ppl assume parents want kids of their own gender or something. But I like that you tell them how it is! Congrats on your boy! So are you sharing which names are in the running??
    Rachel, momma to 4
    dd 9, ds 7, twin boys Dec 09
    I nursed my twins for 2years and 2 weeks! A little sad to be all done now.

  3. #3
    Posting Addict ashamom27's Avatar
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    Hugs. I have heard it too back when I had 3 boys, one girl and was pregnant with a boy.

    I had come backs like: " I get to spoil my only daughter then" or " she will be well protected"...

    It is sad that people discriminate against a baby who isn't born based on his or her sex!
    Next time maybe say something like : " We are expecting a very loved and much anticipated baby boy, we can't wait to meet him!" followed by: " we waited so long for him, he is our miracle baby" That should put them in their place.

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

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    Quote Originally Posted by rachelrazzle View Post
    I would be frustrated too. I must say I was hoping for one of each with the twins, and I know my kids were too. However when we found out both babies were healthy we were so happy, cause yes, after two consecutive losses, you are just so happy to be having a baby! I think that dad's with three daughters and 1 son get the "I'm sorry's" too. Somehow ppl assume parents want kids of their own gender or something. But I like that you tell them how it is! Congrats on your boy! So are you sharing which names are in the running??
    I understand that--I was hoping more toward a girl this time too for a few reasons...we have 3 bedrooms for one, and 2 boys in one and only dd in the other. Which means she'll be sharing with baby anyways because there is more room in there for him. I also have some cute girl stuff I would love to use again, and dd wanted a sister (and so did ds1--he said he wanted boy girl boy girl and since he already had a little brother, he wanted dd to have a sister--sweet!) But it was just a "it would be nice, but..." thought.

    OH, and names...yes. So far here is our first go at a list of names. Opinions at all?

    Jeremiah
    Isaac
    Jedediah
    Oakley
    Parker

    I have a favorite, but I'll tell you all later, after unbiased opinions And for middle name we don't have anything, but thought of Thomas after dh's dad.
    Holly
    DS 2/04
    DD 10/05
    DS 7/08
    DS 1/12
    #5--a GIRL due 3/2/14!

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  5. #5
    Posting Addict MrsSchepp's Avatar
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    I just commented on your January post...lol I'll put it here, too~

    oh, i just HAD to chime in on this people were legitimately sad for us when we found out sawyer was a boy. i was always like, "Um...why???" I LOVED being a mom of all boys and was so excited to add him to our brood! It was even worse when we had Elliot. All kinds of dumb comments like, "You finally got your girl" and thing like that. Yes, like I had just been popping those boys out and throwing them to the side until I FINALLY got my girl. *insert hugest eye roll ever* No, we finally got our 5th child...gender mattered not! And gender doesn't matter this time either. People are just plain silly when it comes to stuff like this...
    ~Heidi~
    Wife to Jason
    Momma to:
    Brodie(9)~Deacon(8 )~Truman(8 )~Sawyer(5)~Elliot(3)~Finn 3/9/12

  6. #6
    Posting Addict Chimmy's Avatar
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    Having just delivered my 6th son & only having 1 girl I totally GET what your saying! Yes, I was sad that she wouldn't get a sister but I was never sad that I was pregnant with a healthy, perfect little boy. I also get completely annoyed that ppl think we have so many children b/c we were hoping for a girl - we have lots of children because we WANT lots of children. I suppose there is a reason assuming start with a$$ lol Try and brush the stupid comments off, but I know it's not always easy to do.

    Mama to 7 curious, wild & wonderful little ones



  7. #7
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    I knew you all would get it!

    Yes, I'm brushing them off. I'm happy to be having a boy and that's all that matters. And yes, we will have more, and to have more babies...not more of one or the other!
    Holly
    DS 2/04
    DD 10/05
    DS 7/08
    DS 1/12
    #5--a GIRL due 3/2/14!

    Visit eyeMateys.com for fun Amblyopia eye patches today!

  8. #8
    Posting Addict Sarah-Jean's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chimmy View Post
    Having just delivered my 6th son & only having 1 girl I totally GET what your saying! Yes, I was sad that she wouldn't get a sister but I was never sad that I was pregnant with a healthy, perfect little boy. I also get completely annoyed that ppl think we have so many children b/c we were hoping for a girl - we have lots of children because we WANT lots of children. I suppose there is a reason assuming start with a$$ lol Try and brush the stupid comments off, but I know it's not always easy to do.

    This! I had major issues in my last pregnancy because of people's comments about "another boy". It made me so depressed and so upset I didn't really get to enjoy it very much as I let it bother me.

    Just ignore them - who cares what the idiots say, so long as you are happy!

  9. #9
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    People make all kinds of ignorant comments. And they do it in front of the kids, too. How do they think it makes my boys feel when they say, "Are you going to try for another girl?" I just tell them I love my boys and I don't need to "try" for a girl. We joke now that the only way we could get a girl was to adopt one, but ironically we only have Cherish because she came with Isaiah, whom we would have adopted even if he hadn't had a sister.

    Deb ................. DH Norm
    DS Caleb, 13 ...... DS Patrick, 12
    DS Isaiah, 8 ......... DS Thomas, 7

    DD Cherish, 6....... DD Emily, 7\18\13 ....... Ripple, 17
    William, 14 weeks, 4/11/12

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chimmy View Post
    Having just delivered my 6th son & only having 1 girl I totally GET what your saying! Yes, I was sad that she wouldn't get a sister but I was never sad that I was pregnant with a healthy, perfect little boy. I also get completely annoyed that ppl think we have so many children b/c we were hoping for a girl - we have lots of children because we WANT lots of children. I suppose there is a reason assuming start with a$$ lol Try and brush the stupid comments off, but I know it's not always easy to do.

    EXACTLY!!! I couldn't have said it better myself! I was and still am sad that dd doesn't have a sister because I have 4 of my own sisters and wish she could have sisters to have a similar relationship with. But I have never not wanted any of my sons, nor have I ever been upset that I was having boys instead of girls. Boy/girl, doesn't matter so long as the baby is healthy.
    Nancy
    dh ~ Jacob
    dd ~ Ruth(11), ds ~ Jotham(9), ds ~ Caleb(7), ds ~ Evan (4), ds~ Ted (2)

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