Catherine

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wishing4agirl's picture
Joined: 09/11/03
Posts: 917
Catherine

I saw your message on FB. Come talk to us girl. We love you. We are here for you.

Kittydakat's picture
Joined: 11/19/08
Posts: 53

I don't know what to say. I should have left ages ago. I'm so stupid.

wishing4agirl's picture
Joined: 09/11/03
Posts: 917

No you aren't stupid. You had the belief that he could change. And that is not necessarily a bad thing because people do change. But you have to decide if you are willing to stay and wait for him to change. That answer seems to be no now. That doesn't make you stupid. That means circumstances have changed now. And it's not worth it. I so wish I was closer to give you a shoulder to cry on. In the end down the road things will work themselves out. That doesn't mean with him, but you will have moved on and J will have enriched your life beyond measure. A measure that although you can see awesome things now with him, you won't really know how strong he made you until you are down the road looking back. I've been down that road. You are strong. :bigarmhug:

ambie719's picture
Joined: 10/03/07
Posts: 811

Don't feel stupid. Staying as long as you did just shows that marriage is something you take seriously, and that you tried as hard as you could to see if it could still work. The fact that it didn't work out sucks of course, but you never have to look back now and wonder if there was more that could've been done.

Are you and J staying state-side or are you going back home to the UK?

Terrapin's picture
Joined: 08/21/05
Posts: 713

:bigarmhug: I agree with Amber and Angela. You are not stupid for trying to make it work. I wish there was more I could say, I know you are really hurting right now. :bigarmhug:

Andy1784's picture
Joined: 09/18/08
Posts: 1372

I wish I had such eloquent words like Angela or Amber but I totally agree with them. I admire you so much for how you have handled everything, at least from what I have seen of it. You are strong and I hope that if I am ever in your shoes that I can be as amazing as you.

I wish there was more I could do too.

Joined: 09/05/08
Posts: 392

Oh Catherine, you are not stupid. Far from it. Some people just fight harder for what they want. That doesn't make you stupid.

You will come out of this on the other side an even stronger person than you are now. It isn't easy, I know firsthand, but it does get better. That sounds totally cheesy, but it's the truth.

:bighug: Remember that you are a fantastic mother, and J knows that. And remember that we are all here for support!

Kittydakat's picture
Joined: 11/19/08
Posts: 53

Thanks everyone, your words made me cry (doesnt' take much right now) - I will be fine because I have Jacob, he is the best gift in the world.
I am going to the office tomorrow to find out what I need to do to leave, I know I can't just up and go because of J, I wouldn't be surprised if we have to divorce first or sth. But yeah I'll go home, hopefully I can find a cheap flat/house as I don't really want to have to live with mum & dad. Thankfully the military should pay for all of my stuff to be sent so I can take furniture, saucepans etc which will help with everything.
At the end of the day I supported him through so much and he threw it all back in my face, it is his problem now. He has turned into a lying, cheating POS and I don't want my child to grow up in that environment, plus I've had enough of being unhappy and alone. Time for bigger & better things. Honestly I can't wait to go home.

wishing4agirl's picture
Joined: 09/11/03
Posts: 917

We got your back girl! We are always here for you. You may be across a country or an entire world but we are always here. I know at least a couple of us have been through this so we know what it's like. I'm glad the military will pay for your stuff to be sent whereever you need it too. I'll be keeping you in my prayers. Please come and vent, talk, or even if you need :bigarmhug: Let us know how things are going.

Terrapin's picture
Joined: 08/21/05
Posts: 713

You are absolutely right that J doesn't deserve to be in that environment and neither do you! I hope that everything transitions smoothly for you. I know this must be incredibly hard, and like Andy said, I admire how well you have handled things. You deserve some peace.

Joined: 02/23/07
Posts: 53

It's never easy to give up on someone you love--that doesn't make you stupid, it just makes you human. Someday you will look back on these days as the time when your life started changing for the better. It's hard to believe now, but it's true. We love you!!!!!

ChristaM's picture
Joined: 01/11/04
Posts: 713

Hang in there sweetie! We all love you here. Hugs to you and keep us posted.

Joined: 09/13/06
Posts: 145

Just wanted to send you some hugs! Thinking of you! Stay strong!!

Kittydakat's picture
Joined: 11/19/08
Posts: 53

Thanks everyone, I'm having a really tough time with this to be honest. I've invested so much in our relationship and my whole life has changed because of him. How do I let someone go who I consider as my best friend and who says the same about me? He wants to stay friends but I just can't. It would be so much easier if I just hated him. This just doesn't feel right, I would have an easier time with it if it felt right. It just doesn't.

wishing4agirl's picture
Joined: 09/11/03
Posts: 917

It is hard. But no matter what you do or choose we are here every step of the way. That is what friends are for. Whether we're e-friends or IRL friends. :bigarmhug: