Anyone else not feeling sexy?

19 posts / 0 new
Last post
abbyblack's picture
Joined: 06/18/09
Posts: 146
Anyone else not feeling sexy?

So I have not been feeling sexy at all! Between the weight gain and not fitting into my favorite clothes I haven't been feeling attractive at all.

But in an attempt to feel more attractive I got my hair cut and styled, bought new makeup (believe it or not my German Shepherd tore open my makeup bag and ate the makeup I did have), and my mom took me to get a manicure.

Sassy112704's picture
Joined: 04/12/05
Posts: 414

I haven't felt sexy for a LONG time. lol Having two kids so close together it seems like I have been pregnant for quite some time. lol

socalmama's picture
Joined: 07/28/11
Posts: 334

ME! I haven't felt sexy since I found out I was pregnant. Between dealing with all the acne, hair falling out and nausea, who would? And now I just feel like a tank because I'm so big. Just 14 more weeks, just 14 more weeks, just 14 more weeks. LOL

waitingimpatiently614's picture
Joined: 02/17/09
Posts: 386

not sexy at all. my body reminds me of the gorilla my DS loves so much at our local zoo. huge belly with droopy boobies hanging on either side. Wink

i can feel pretty cute in some of my more stylish maternity clothes with a good push-up bra! but naked...forget it.

it's funny, too, because i'm doing a hypnobabies home study course to prepare for a natural childbirth, and one of the mantras that gets repeated to me every night in the recording is "my pregnant body is beautiful and i love it more and more every day." ha! yeah right. i do love my pregnant body and the amazing work it is accomplishing growing our baby girl, but the appearance of it is just not sexy.

critterskunky's picture
Joined: 09/06/07
Posts: 1629

The only thing I like is that my tiny boobs are slightly bigger than usual. But I feel like I'm hauling a huge load wherever I go and that's uncomfortable.

Also, don't know if anyone is dealing w this yet, but I have the beginnings of urinary incontinence. It happened in my last pregnancy and ended a few months after birth. So I think that's happening and that's the worst of all.

But my hair looks pretty nice, I think. I'm also gaining slightly less this time so I'm all belly (and some thigh :rolleyes: )

ShylahEQ's picture
Joined: 12/08/07
Posts: 1003

I totally do not feel sexy.. at all. Everything is just wrong and way out of proportion. I cried over how big and dark my aureolas have become. lol

Hubby hasn't been disappointed, but still. I avoid the mirror when naked at all possible times!

lmh101979's picture
Joined: 07/05/09
Posts: 966

Maybe it's just because it's my 3ed or that I have been working out so much, but I'm not hating myself that much this time around. DH has always told me how incredibly sexy I am when pg and that definitely helps. I think my mindset is just different. Although today in the gym I saw my behind in the mirror when I was stretching and thought, "not so cute." I am just trying to enjoy this last one as much as I can because I AM NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN! Smile

Joined: 06/26/11
Posts: 331

I'm with you Lindsay...I'm NEVER doing this again either! I'm trying to enjoy it, but I'm looking forward to being done too.

As far as feeling sexy, um, no way!! The only pair of maternity pants I have fall down all the time, so I feel like a dumpy mess. I did get a much needed haircut too, but that didn't help much. The salon plunks you in front of a giant full length mirror while they cut your hair and I definitely could have done without that awful view of myself! I look like Humpty Dumpty!

MrsSchepp's picture
Joined: 12/30/06
Posts: 496

I am the total opposite! I actually like how I look when I am pregnant better than when I'm not. I just feel very...womanly, or something. I don't know how to describe it, but I always really like how I look and feel.

abbyblack's picture
Joined: 06/18/09
Posts: 146

I am so relieved to read your posts! My husband is trying to make me laugh when it comes to how much my tummy has grown, but he doesn't seem to get that his jokes aren't funny right now...Do any of you have your husband call you "endearing" names?

StarGazer78's picture
Joined: 09/11/11
Posts: 126

At first I was feeling like you, Heidi, where I felt rather womanly or something...and then DH started calling me a rolly polly and that really took me down a few notches.

socalmama's picture
Joined: 07/28/11
Posts: 334

My DH actually loves my pregnant body and keeps telling me I'm cute pregnant. I'm the one not feeling it, even though he compliments me on it all the time.

waitingimpatiently614's picture
Joined: 02/17/09
Posts: 386

"abbyblack" wrote:

I am so relieved to read your posts! My husband is trying to make me laugh when it comes to how much my tummy has grown, but he doesn't seem to get that his jokes aren't funny right now...Do any of you have your husband call you "endearing" names?

no nicknames, thank goodness, but yesterday DH did start laughing at me as i was attempting to fit myself between 2 cars parked really close in the parking lot. i couldn't walk between them facing forward so i tried turning sideways, and he was like, "you're wider that way! just give up." :rolleyes:

Jbaum2's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 257

"abbyblack" wrote:

I am so relieved to read your posts! My husband is trying to make me laugh when it comes to how much my tummy has grown, but he doesn't seem to get that his jokes aren't funny right now...Do any of you have your husband call you "endearing" names?

No endearing names...but he does ask of it's weird having a belly this big and if it's weird knowing there is a living being in me LOL.

I had a cry the other night about feeling fat (I was retaining water and I had stepped on the scale to see that I have gained ALL of the weight my Dr wanted me to gain with 3 months left to go...Oops). I had a good cry in the bath while DH hugged me and told me it was the hormones making me cry, that I wasn't fat and that I am pregnant so I should wear it proud. The water retention went away with drinking water and some yoga so I only felt that way for one night.

I don't feel sexy as in I should do a spread for playboy, but I do love looking at my body and seeing the transformation (so does DH) It's completely fascinating to both of us.

Jbaum2's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 257

"StarGazer78" wrote:

At first I was feeling like you, Heidi, where I felt rather womanly or something...and then DH started calling me a rolly polly and that really took me down a few notches.

I think men think it's the only time they can make those comments is when women are pregnant. Because if you get mad, they say oh come on your pregnant. of course your bigger.

I've had a few male friends (hubbys of my female friends) call me fat, fatty, wide load etc and I just look them straight in the eye smile sweetly and say "well, I'm still not as fat as you" That usually wipes the smug smile on their face off Smile LOL

abbyblack's picture
Joined: 06/18/09
Posts: 146

"Jbaum2" wrote:

No endearing names...but he does ask of it's weird having a belly this big and if it's weird knowing there is a living being in me LOL.

I had a cry the other night about feeling fat (I was retaining water and I had stepped on the scale to see that I have gained ALL of the weight my Dr wanted me to gain with 3 months left to go...Oops). I had a good cry in the bath while DH hugged me and told me it was the hormones making me cry, that I wasn't fat and that I am pregnant so I should wear it proud. The water retention went away with drinking water and some yoga so I only felt that way for one night.

I don't feel sexy as in I should do a spread for playboy, but I do love looking at my body and seeing the transformation (so does DH) It's completely fascinating to both of us.

I wish my husband was more like yours....He doesn't understand how terrible I feel I look right now and I want/need to be told he still finds me attractive.

waitingimpatiently614's picture
Joined: 02/17/09
Posts: 386

"abbyblack" wrote:

I wish my husband was more like yours....He doesn't understand how terrible I feel I look right now and I want/need to be told he still finds me attractive.

i don't know if your husband is like mine, but my DH tends to make insensitive jokes when he's actually just scared or doesn't know what to say. i was frustrated with him a lot during my first pregnancy because he wasn't sensitive about the weight-gain issue (not mean to me, just not the nurturing husband you hear about who wants to rub his wife's belly and tell her how beautiful she looks). turns out, he was just really scared about becoming a dad, and plus the whole pregnancy thing wasn't "real" to him...instead of envisioning a baby in there, he was just watching his normally-slim wife blow up like a balloon. he was worried that our sex life and my confidence in my body/feeling sexy would never return. it did!! i looked and felt better about myself 9 months post-partum than i did when we were married. and seeing our baby boy enter the world also changed the way he thought about women's bodies. so, this pregnancy, he has been much more supportive. he doesn't go overboard with encouragement, 'cause that's not his personality, but he tells me not to worry about the weight gain and tells me i look great. he just seems relaxed and happy/excited to have another baby, probably more excited than i am!

abbyblack's picture
Joined: 06/18/09
Posts: 146

"waitingimpatiently614" wrote:

i don't know if your husband is like mine, but my DH tends to make insensitive jokes when he's actually just scared or doesn't know what to say. i was frustrated with him a lot during my first pregnancy because he wasn't sensitive about the weight-gain issue (not mean to me, just not the nurturing husband you hear about who wants to rub his wife's belly and tell her how beautiful she looks). turns out, he was just really scared about becoming a dad, and plus the whole pregnancy thing wasn't "real" to him...instead of envisioning a baby in there, he was just watching his normally-slim wife blow up like a balloon. he was worried that our sex life and my confidence in my body/feeling sexy would never return. it did!! i looked and felt better about myself 9 months post-partum than i did when we were married. and seeing our baby boy enter the world also changed the way he thought about women's bodies. so, this pregnancy, he has been much more supportive. he doesn't go overboard with encouragement, 'cause that's not his personality, but he tells me not to worry about the weight gain and tells me i look great. he just seems relaxed and happy/excited to have another baby, probably more excited than i am!

This is my first baby (his second) and he calls me names in a joking way (so does my oldest brother who I actually just got off the phone with....asking if I was getting fat yet....). Some names have been: fatty-bo-batty and piggy-potamus. I don't think he thinks it is real yet. For example, we can't even discuss names yet. I come up with a name and he says "no" and then I ask him for a name he likes and he doesn't know. When I first started showing he would say "stop poking out". I think it is his way of saying, "I'm scared" in his own way. We both work for the same company and sales have been down so I think he might be worried about the financial aspect as well. If the company sank, we would be in dire straights financially. He hasn't said I look pretty in a long time, but I think that is just the way he is.

Jbaum2's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 257

The first trimester I wanted to kill my hubby. I didn't find him supportive at all. It wasn't until he let me know how scared he was (this was after a BIG fight) and what scared him that we really started communicating. He wasn't supportive because he didn't know how to be. Once we were able to open that door it's been great. He may say the wrong thing sometimes, but I let him know it hurts when it does. I know he wasn't trying ti be hurtful, it's just his way of coping. Men are alot more scared then we think they are. He can get absent minded in the affection department, I find a friendly reminder helps (I tell him baby wants a kiss and get him to kiss my belly) and make sure I grab his hand and put it on my belly when baby moves. Yeah, it's my body this is happening to, but finding little ways to involve him make him feel part of this pregnancy too!