Baby Showers?

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IzzysMama's picture
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Baby Showers?

Is it normal to have a baby shower for a second baby? Now that I know we're having a boy, we need lots of new stuff. Obviously all of our clothes, blankies, etc. are girl-flavored. We *hated* our POS infant carseat, so we need a new one. I gave away or threw away almost all of our infant "stuff" from DD--Bumbo seat, bouncy seat, swing, etc. (A lot of it was secondhand anyway, so by the time we were done with it it was kind of junk.) We never had a decent stroller either.

Point is, we need a lot of things. DH was like, "Oh, don't worry, we'll get most of it at the baby shower anyway." Do people have baby showers for second (or third...or whatever) pregnancies? I'm afraid it might seem tacky!

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In my family, we've had baby showers for every baby...didn't matter if it was the first or the fourth baby. I think it's a fun time to get everyone together and celebrate the new baby, so I don't think it's tacky at all. My SIL is already planning my shower and I've even done my registry already. So I say go for it!

critterskunky's picture
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I'm mixed on this. I don't feel "entitled" to one, and I don't think it's appropriate ettiquette for me to plan one myself, but since several people have asked me, all I've said is I will create a registry at BRU and Target but I'm not throwing myself any shower. If someone chooses to do so, that's on them....

I am also planning on asking friends for secondhand boy stuff....I will have my DH do this as well since he has way more friends than I do....

waitingimpatiently614's picture
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i grew up in the etiquette-obsessed Southern culture where no one ever really had baby showers for anything except a first baby. i had just never heard of having showers for subsequent babies. but now i live out west, and people aren't so concerned about those social rules (which i think is a good thing!). so i've had several people ask me if i'm having a shower and two friends offer to throw one for me. but the Southern girl in me just doesn't feel right letting them do that, and i hate being the center of attention at gatherings like that anyway, so i've declined. Smile but, unlike some of you, we have everything we could possibly need for a baby except girly clothes, and my sister will give me all her little girl's hand-me-downs, so we'll be fine. i say, if you don't have baby gear you need, and someone offers to give you a shower, you should do it!!

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No shower here. I had two big ones for my first and nothing really for my second so I don't think I would have one for my third. A couple of people gave me small gifts, but nothing like the first one.

hopin2bpreggermeggers's picture
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I say if you need one, go for it. People will understand it's a different gender and new things are needed.

If someone offers to throw you one, just have them put on the invitation a little cute poem about needing to stock up on boy things! People will certainly understand.

That being said, I'm from WV. And, like Amanda said, in WV we don't have a shower after the first wedding or first baby. Smile Maryland does. I say WHO CARES! If you want one, your true friends won't judge you (particularly in these economic times, they will understand you don't want to do it on your own!). Smile

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I think if someone offers to throw you one, go for it. Especially since you really do need the stuff. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

I was/am bitter that nobody bothered to throw me a baby shower for my first baby. Especially since everyone knew we had fertility struggles. Part of me reminds myself that it's not something anyone has to do, but after all the bridal and baby showers I've been too, I thought someone would think enough of me to do that. We bought everything for DD ourselves with the exception of a few clothes. So, my perspective is do it if you can!

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LURKER
It seems to me lots of people have baby showers for second babies, but it tends to be a less intense affair. I feel like every baby deserves to have it's own party. I don't remember seeing registries for second baby showers (though I'm sure people do it), it's more like a party/brunch and everyone brings a little something. We got rid of a bunch of baby stuff too, so I'll throw you one if you throw me one!

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No one where we live has showers for subsequent pregnancies. I had one for my first but nothing for my second, so I don't expect I'll get one for this one. It would have been fun, but i think people around here would think I'm being rude having one. I can honestly say, i've never been to a shower for anyone other than a first pregnancy. But, since you are having the opposite sex, it surely would be nice for you!! I have quite a bit to buy this time too, since it has been 4 yrs, but at least its another boy so anything I do have I can use again. Smile

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A few members of my family told me that I was rude having a second shower especially having two girls very close together. But after talking to some friends I realize that I don't need much so I am deciding to allow my mom to throw me a small one with a list of exactly what I need so that I don't get a whole lot of extras and that way I don't feel awful having too much extra stuff that I end up returning. Recently, my sister-in-law had a shower for her second child. Her first is 3 years old and both are the same sex. She received hundreds of dollars worth of stuff, most of which she didn't need because she did not give people lists. She ended up with two PNPs and various other things that she ended up returning.

Especially in your case with having one of each I wouldn't even give it a second thought, just go ahead and let someone throw you one plus there is never any shame in throwing one yourself. I had to the first time. Everyone was too wrapped up in other things and told me it was up to me if I really wanted one. My sister-in-law was supposed to help but all she did was pick the date and show up drunk because she was out partying for her bday the night before.

IzzysMama's picture
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"motorjunkie89" wrote:

My sister-in-law was supposed to help but all she did was pick the date and show up drunk because she was out partying for her bday the night before.

I'm sorry, I know this probably was awful for you at the time, but it sounds so funny to me! Lol

Anyway there is now a little kink in the works--turns out my mom was going to plan one for me, but my MIL told her she thought it would be inappropriate, so she changed her mind. I've been talking to my sisters (in case it isn't obvious, my lurker friend acqualin21 is my sister) and I think we're going to sort of split the difference and have a brunch party "celebrating the new baby" that isn't specifically a shower. I will probably do an online registry just for my own use anyway, to organize my thinking on what we need to buy, so if someone wanted to get me something my sister could let them know that the registry exists, but not have it be a big deal.

I want to call it a Yay Baby Brunch. Smile

hopin2bpreggermeggers's picture
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Great plan!!!!

P.S. It's awesome you're both preggo at the same time!

motorjunkie89's picture
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That does sound like a good idea. Its always best to colaborate and do what works best for the situation. My family does not really care for most of the members of DH's family which makes it even weirder. I understand why my mom dislikes the certain people of his family, but I actually really just wish everyone could get along.