Doin' The Deed

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socalmama's picture
Joined: 07/28/11
Posts: 334
Doin' The Deed

Okay, so to be 100% honest with you, DH and I have not had intercourse since we made this baby. Why? Because I've been too sick, too tired and too scared. I had an episode a while back that landed me in the ER (didn't post about it - dx: small part of the placenta detached) and several days of bedrest because I was bleeding and I'm just so afraid of bleeding again. This may be TMI but he wants to today and I'm terrified. I've helped him in other ways but he's wanting intercourse. I'm probably the only one that hasn't, huh? Sad

Sassy112704's picture
Joined: 04/12/05
Posts: 414

Yikes! I don't blame you for being scared! I am always leary in the first trimester because I am so afraid to spot. However, I have been dtd since we got our BFP with no troubles. Hang in there!!

Jbaum2's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 257

Oh wow - no wonder your scared too! It's been on and off for hubby and me. Almost noe during the first trimester (I think a total of 3 times). then for about 2 weeks everyday.. now, not so much. ( I think we are both scared to hurt baby - this is our first - idea is still new to us). But now, we just go very very slow. I mean VERY slow. He enjoys it very much as going that slow is very hard to do LOL.

Its most likely that he misses that closeness and intamacy with you that just can't be replaced without the actual deed. Have you talked to him about your fears and why you haven't wanted to? (IE it's not that your not hot and horny for his sexy body, it's what you went through physically?)

Good Luck!

waitingimpatiently614's picture
Joined: 02/17/09
Posts: 386

oh my poor DH is totally deprived. i've maybe given in 3 times in the last 3 months purely out a feeling of obligation, but even then my heart wasn't in it and i'm sure it was really no good for him. i just have ZERO sex drive, which is weird since it was through the roof during my first pregnancy. and i'm definitely not "helping him out in other ways" either, lol. Smile you're a good wife!

i can totally understand your concerns considering what happened with the bleeding and bedrest. has your doctor given you the okay for intercourse? in my experience, doctors are quick to put a pregnant woman on "pelvic rest" (meaning, no sex) if they are concerned at all, so if your doctor thinks its totally okay, you should feel good about that. but even still, i can understand wanting to put it off or take it slow and gentle. it's just really hard to "get in the mood" when you're worrying about the baby, huh? but remember, babies are really resilient, especially at this stage.

Joined: 06/26/11
Posts: 331

I can completely understand why you haven't DTD. I had a scary episode with my DD's pregnancy at around 7 weeks that landed me in the ER twice, so that pretty much killed any chance of DTD for the remainder of that pregnancy. This time, while I did have some spotting issues in the 1st trimester, I haven't had any issues from DTD. But, I will say that the fun isn't going to last much longer! The way my belly is growing already, I don't think I'm gonna be comfortable much longer...and that's when DH gets cut off from DTD. If you're doc doesn't still have you on pelvic rest, I think you should be ok. I'd give it a shot this time and see how it goes.

MrsSchepp's picture
Joined: 12/30/06
Posts: 496

*hugs* I think I would be nervous, too, if I had something like that happen Sad What did your doc say about doing the deed? If she gave you the ok, then give it a try. We actually, in general (pregnant or not), do the deed quite often.

natelukesmom's picture
Joined: 02/08/09
Posts: 538

I totally understand. We didnt dtd till I was 12 weeks because I was totally freaked about possible m/c. Even now we don't do it as much as usual, but I feel much better now that I'm farther along, and because we've done it a lot now and nothing bad has happened. But I know the nervousness. Honestly though, I think all will be fine if you decide to do it. There is rarely a problem because of dtd. Smile

StarGazer78's picture
Joined: 09/11/11
Posts: 126


You're not alone! Haven't done the deed ONCE since conception! Not because of any physical reason either, I think DH is weirded out by it. I hope this doesn't last for the entire pregnancy, otherwise I'm gonna need me a gigolo! LOL j/k Smile

socalmama's picture
Joined: 07/28/11
Posts: 334

Thanks for your feedback girls. I did it and it wasn't so bad. Phew! LOL

hopin2bpreggermeggers's picture
Joined: 02/22/10
Posts: 567

Wahoo!!! I'm sure you're both less stressed now! Wink

lmh101979's picture
Joined: 07/05/09
Posts: 966

I'm glad it all went well. Hopefully this won't be a stresser for the rest of your pg.