Name Crisis... Need advice

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IzzysMama's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 119
Name Crisis... Need advice

Hi March moms! I know I have been totally MIA this entire time. I'm a terrible board member. Sad But I have a dilemma and would like some opinions.

Back in November when we found out we were having a boy, DH came up with the name Ronin. It was very high on our list, although Isaac has been at the top of the list all along. The closer we get to delivery, the more we agree that Isaac is not perfect... so we're still keeping our options open.

Now my sister--whose baby is due in July--found out she is having a boy as well. Totally independently of us, she came up with the name Ronan.

At this point DH and I are in love with the name Ronin. Technically we thought of it first, but didn't tell anyone. My sister said it publicly first.

DH and my dad are both saying we should just both use the name--Ronin for ours and Ronan for my sister's son. They think it's cool and special that we both independently thought of the same name. Do you think that would be weird and awkward? Or would it be okay to have first cousins with the same name? They live about three hours away from us, so they won't be in school together or anything, and of course the spellings and last names will be different. I guess here are the options:

1. Just use the name and they can deal, since our baby will be born first (I don't want to do this, for familial happiness)
2. Agree that we will both use the name
3. Give up the name and let them have it.


waitingimpatiently614's picture
Joined: 02/17/09
Posts: 386

oooh...that's tough! i have personally always thought that whoever gives birth first gets to use whatever name they choose. no one should get to stake claim to a name in advance and prevent other friends or family from using it. i have a good friend who loves the name Clara, but so do we, and we're using it for our baby girl. this friend is also pregnant, but doesn't know yet what she's having, and if she's having a girl and chooses to use Clara, too, that's okay and of course totally her choice. but i'm not gonna use our second choice name just so that she can save Clara for herself. Smile but that's just my opinion!

so i would say if when your son is born (or in advance) you decide he is meant to be named Ronin, then that is what you name him! And then your sister can decide if she wants to also name her son Ronan. I do think it's strange to have first cousins with the same name, so if my sister had already used a name, i would use something else, or maybe use the name we both love as my child's middle name, but that's just me.

lmh101979's picture
Joined: 07/05/09
Posts: 966

I agree with your parents, it's really neat you both came up with the same name. I think it would be great if you guys could agree to share, and if your sister isn't ok with it, then you could come up with a plan b , like who could use it for a middle name or whatever. I don't think cousins with the same name would be bad, especially since it's such a unique name and you guys don't live super close anyway. HTH!

Jbaum2's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 257

Keep the name Ronin. I think you should let your sister know before you have the baby though. (that way she knows how much you guys actually do think alike and doesn't seem like you used the name she came up with) The spelling is different Smile I have 2 cousins named Ronnie (1 boy, 1 girl) we don't find it very strange.

When we found out my brothers girlfriend was pregnant (and due before me) my mom found out what she was planning on naming her little girl. Thankfully, she had chosen a different name then what we had chosen (if we have a girl) (She may be due first, but we have been trying for years and she just "oops" and got pregnant).

lysa_v's picture
Joined: 06/17/10
Posts: 268

Ohhh myyyy. I'd be mad lol, but that's just me. Not mad at anyone, but just frustrated that this is happening...
Honestly, if you LOVE the name Ronin, then USE IT! You're having your baby FIRST which gives you the advantage... Plus you will most likely regret not naming your baby what you really like.
And they can either deal and change their baby's name, or keep it the same if they LOVE Ronan, like how you love Ronin...
Smile GOOD LUCK!!!

p.s. I would let them know that you guys truly thought of that name first before they announced theirs, so they dont think you diliberately stole it, haha.

Joined: 06/26/11
Posts: 331

I don't see a problem with both of you using the name. I do think that you should talk it over with your sister just to avoid any hurt feelings. I think it's pretty neat that you both love the same name and you both should get to use the name you love!

socalmama's picture
Joined: 07/28/11
Posts: 334

I agree with the others. Use the name, but let her know that was what you've been wanting all along.

StarGazer78's picture
Joined: 09/11/11
Posts: 126

I agree, you should use the name. How does your sister feel about this?

My DH and his cousin, who are about a year or so part, have the same name (Steve) and the same last name too. They even lived together for awhile as children--they never thought it was weird to share the same name (although other people probably do!) They had given each other nicknames, and called each other by their nicknames. It can definitely work!

My cousin had a baby a few months before I got pregnant, and I was a bit surprised that his wife and him named her Layla--it was a name I was seriously considering if we were to have a girl. I personally gave up the thought of using it, though, since it wasn't like I had completely settled on it.

IzzysMama's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 119

It's funny... everyone here has said to use the name, but on another board (non-baby-related) that I frequent, everyone said NOT to use the name! I guess we will have to make a decision at some point here.

DH is now saying he would like to name the baby Roan instead of Ronin anyway. I'm not 100 percent convinced of that. I also just thought of the name Orion. What do you all think of that name? It would be Orion Gerald Shiers. Orion is my favorite constellation, the one i can always see whenever I look at the sky; plus, with the spelling Arion it is the name of a mythical horse, and we are horse people.

socalmama's picture
Joined: 07/28/11
Posts: 334

I think Orion is nice! I heard it the first time when I met my friend's grandson a while back (she's a very young grandma) and I liked it. Smile