Need advice from anyone

10 posts / 0 new
Last post
abbyblack's picture
Joined: 06/18/09
Posts: 146
Need advice from anyone

So I went on a tour of the hospital where I am supposed to give birth and I ran into a dilemma. I LOVE my OB, but I HATE the hospital she is affiliated with. I guess I never thought I would hate the hospital because the facility where I go for my monthly check-ups and have lab work done is SO nice.

The hospital is super old, built in 1970, so the maternity floor is just like any other hospital dept (dark, stained, chipped paint, etc). Most of the labor rooms don't have windows). Seems like a mental institution to me...

Anyways, I LOVE my OB, but she is only affiliated with this hospital. Should I suck it up or should I try to find a doctor at the hospital I know is nice? Anyone else in the same boat?

I am a first time mom and I have never spent any amount of time in any hospital, other than to visit my dad and sister on two separate occasions. I am already scared about having to spend the night alone in this awful after giving birth and I just need someone to talk to. My husband (who has a daughter) isn't being very compassionate...

socalmama's picture
Joined: 07/28/11
Posts: 334

That's a tough one. For me, at this stage of the pregnancy, you've been with your OB all along and love her so I would continue to stay with her. She must trust the hospital if she's affiliated with them. You will be in the hospital only a brief period of time and as long as they are equipped to handle deliveries in every way (have a NICU, etc.) then I would suck it up. My hospital's labor rooms do not have windows, only the after care rooms do.

waitingimpatiently614's picture
Joined: 02/17/09
Posts: 386

oh, man, that is a dilemma. i gave birth to DS in an old, slightly rundown hospital, and the L&D area was not nice at all...tiny rooms with no windows, tiny bathrooms, hideous peeling wallpaper (for some reason the crazy patterned wallpaper really bothered me while i was in labor...haha). but the post-partum area was brand new construction and very posh with huge windows with mountain views in every room, huge luxurious bathrooms, sound-proof walls, comfy pull-out bed for baby's daddy to sleep in, etc. so that helped. plus, it was the only hospital that took our insurance, so that decided that. this time i'll be at a different hospital due to our insurance changing, and both L&D and post-partum are really nice and new. but honestly, i hate being a hospital patient so much that even if it were the ritz-carlton of hospitals, i would not enjoy my stay and hope to be discharged as soon as possible. also, i do think the nursing staff make a bigger difference in how comfortable you feel during your stay than the physical surroundings. although my L&D room was crappy, my L&D nurse was an absolute angel, and made those hours so much better (until she went off shift and i had a super-cranky, bossy nurse for the last couple hours...DH and i called her Nurse Ratched...heehee.) can you talk to some other moms who have had their babies at the old ugly hospital and find out what their experience was like? also, will your OB who you love definitely be the one delivering you or will it be whoever is on call in your OBs group at the time? because if it is only a 1/6 chance you will get to have your OB there anyway (or something like that) than maybe it would be worth looking around. also, why do you have to spend the night there alone after giving birth?? if your DH can't stay for some reason, i would try to have someone else stay with you (mom, sister?). those first couple nights with a newborn can be stressful, and i think i would have felt lonely without DH there. the nurse is only a call button away, but still.

lmh101979's picture
Joined: 07/05/09
Posts: 966

I completely agree with Amanda. Honestly the first night in the hospital was a major time of closeness for DH and I. I know that your DH has been through this before, but maybe he can understand that you are not the ex and have different needs and expectations. DH and my first night in the hospital is still something we reminisce on fondly because we started out our team parenting that night. I don't think the hospital matters as much as whose with you there. If my OB told me we were having this c in a cave I would ask what time. For me it's all about the people, not the surroundings.

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

I'm going to have to agree with Lindsay. Though the hospital appearance may put you off, how are their policies and proceedures in relation to your birthing desires. What are their intervention policies? C/S rate? Do they give the baby to you right away or do they take the baby immediately after birth for monitoring/weight check etc.? For me, those issues are more important. However, you have to decide what's important to you personally and what is going to create the best situation for you. If you feel that you need to be in the nicer/newer facility in order to have a positive birthing experience, then perhaps you should go deliver there. But if you feel that it's more important to have an OB that you are comfortable with and who knows you and what you want with the birth, then perhaps it's best to stay with her. I don't know if any of that is helpful to you, but that's my 2 cents! Biggrin You'll make the decision that's best for you.

Erin Elizabeth's picture
Joined: 10/18/08
Posts: 472

***Lurk*** Not sure if this has been said yet.....but is it possible you could ask you OB if she could get temporary privelages at the hospital you want to deliver at? I know it maybe asking a lot, but I would go to every measure to keep an OB I have been with a whole pregnancy before jumping ship. But then again, I TOTALLY understand not wanting to spend the night in a rickety old hospital. I left my OB with my first because I didn't like the hospital. But then again I was only like 15/20 weeks into the pregnancy. I ended up finding a GREAT second OB affiliated with a small, yet wonderful hospital......very baby/mommy friendly and had very nice private recovery rooms. You have to go with your gut on this one!

Prudence's picture
Joined: 05/02/05
Posts: 256

*Lurker*

My first son was born in one of the newer fancier hospitals in town- it was gorgeous. The staff, however, were of the mind to 'pop the baby out and get ya outta here' because it was such a popular L&D. My second son- I chose an older hospital that was not as pretty- and nowhere near as impressive to look at. But the staff was superb and our experience was wonderful there.

Don't get hung up on how the rooms look... Do they have the equipment needed to take care of you and baby? Ask your OB WHY they prefer that hospital to others. There must be a reason why he/she chooses to work there.

Good luck regardless!

Joined: 04/27/09
Posts: 251

:lurk:

I had my DD in a crappy looking hospital too....it was exactly as you described - old, run down looking and overall gave me the impression of a mental institution. The bed was terrible - it didn't even have a remote to recline the mattress or raise it to a sitting postion - there was actually a crank at the foot of the bed that I had to get up and wind in order to raise or lower the mattress!!!

I was by myself too, because DD's sperm donor had left me at that point...that first night was ok though b/c I spent it snuggling with my new baby, but by the next day I was starting to feel lonely.

But the staff at the hospital were really great, and I had enough visitors coming in and out that it broke up the lonely moments, so overall it wasn't too bad.

The good news was that I didn't have any complications, and the hospital gave me the option to go home a day early - that was really nice b/c I was so ready to get out of there. So I guess my advice would be that if you really love your OB, stick with the hospital - even though it's not perfect. You'll be out of there before you know it, and if you are lucky you might even get released early and can go home to your own bed. Smile

CamelNoodle's picture
Joined: 07/28/04
Posts: 908

:lurk:
For all my deliveries, the nurse rather than the OB is more important. The OB only comes to "catch" the baby for the most part.

If you like the nurses at that hospital, then it could be a fine place to deliver.

But if you decide to go to a different hospital, I don't think getting a new OB at this time would make a difference.

Just my $.02. I hate staying in the hospital after delivery. If it were a sucky hospital, it would be even worse.

abbyblack's picture
Joined: 06/18/09
Posts: 146

Their C-section rate is one of the lowest in CA because Sutter believes in as little unnecessary intervention as possible. When I went on the tour we were told their c-section rate is about 11 percent.
After delivery, the baby always stays with the mother. All tests are done in the room and the baby is never taken away unless the mother asks for the nurses to watch the baby while she showers, etc. They give your baby to you right away for nursing or skin-to-skin contact. I have heard that the staff at this hospital is excellent. I would much rather have good care, than nice paint on the wall Smile

Thank you for the advice ladies.