Paternity Leave

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amyrenee's picture
Last seen: 3 years 1 month ago
Joined: 07/11/11
Posts: 168
Paternity Leave

Just curious as to how much paternity leave or time off (if any) your DH's will get/take when the baby is born.

Being a FTM I have no idea what to expect in terms of what type of help I will need (or how much help would be nice) once the baby is here. My DH has been with his company for less than a year and so unfortunately he is not offered any paternity leave, but instead will have to use his vacation time (he has 20 days total for the year).

Just wondering how much of his vacation time we might want to plan on him taking.

Thanks for any advice!!

waitingimpatiently614's picture
Last seen: 4 years 4 months ago
Joined: 02/17/09
Posts: 386

with DS1, DH only got 48hrs paternity leave, and he couldn't even extend that with vacation days because he was in a training program that assigned them their 2 weeks vacation. he could've taken unpaid FMLA, but instead we just made arrangements for my parents to come to town 2 days after my due date. unfortunately, since DS came 5 days early, we basically came home from the hospital, and DH went back to working long hours the very next day, and i was left alone as a hormonal, weepy new momma for 5 long days until my parents arrived! it was by far the hardest few days for me! i was just really unsure of myself, totally sleep-deprived, my milk didn't come in for a few days, so breastfeeding was frustrating, and i just felt lonely. DH made the mistake of coming home for 30 minutes on his lunch break the second day to check on us, and i started crying and begging him not to go back to work (but he had no choice and had to extract himself from me and leave for the afternoon). he hasn't come home for lunch since then. Wink anyway, once my parents arrived, i could take naps or take a shower or hand off the baby when i felt frustrated. i just felt supported and things got so much better. and then my sister came for a week, and then DH's mom (who i am really close to) came for a week, so the "live-in" help continued until DS was a month old, which for me was awesome. some people wouldn't like that many visitors, but i found it really helpful since DH was working 12 hour days most days.

anyway, all that to say, i would try to work it out so that your DH can take about a week off to be home with you and baby and then you have other help set up for the day he goes back to work (which will probably be a hard day whenever it occurs) and the weeks following. something most moms i've talked to have experienced is a "crash" in hormones 2-5 days after baby is born. you are on this "high" after birth, and then something shifts and suddenly everything makes you want to cry and you feel like you're losing your mind. it would have been really helpful for me to have DH there when i hit that crash moment (or my mom or some other really supportive person that i can cry my eyes out in front of). it's hormonal, totally normal, and usually passes quickly. if not, it can develop into baby blues or post-partum depression, and studies have shown the best prevention for post-partum depression is the new mom feeling surrounded by supportive people!

Last seen: 4 years 6 months ago
Joined: 06/26/11
Posts: 331

I'm sure my DH has some kind of paternity leave that he can take, but it would be unpaid and we are in no position to be able to afford unpaid time off. So, he'll be taking 2 weeks of vacation when baby comes. I'm so relieved that he'll be here to help for that long. Even though this is my third baby, it's still quite an adjustment for me when bringing home a newborn.

AnnaRO's picture
Last seen: 5 months 1 week ago
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

I think that if your DH takes 2 weeks it would be well worth it and (in most instances) a good amount of time to help you recover. When I had my DD, it was via c/s and DH (under FMLA) took off 6 weeks. It was very nice to have him there to do the cooking and cleaning while I recovered and loved my new baby. We won't be so luck this time as he will have been at his new job for less than a year, I'm not sure he'll get more than a couple of days this time.

MrsSchepp's picture
Last seen: 3 years 3 months ago
Joined: 12/30/06
Posts: 496

My hubs usually takes at least 2 weeks off to be home!

rwkl's picture
Last seen: 4 years 8 months ago
Joined: 09/19/09
Posts: 16

I think 2 weeks is good!

JBird3010's picture
Last seen: 4 years 2 months ago
Joined: 01/21/11
Posts: 404

I'm at FTM too, and my husband and I decided that he should take 2 weeks off. I'm hoping that after he goes back to work I can talk my mom into taking that week off (she wants to take a week off anyway when LO is born) to be with me (she also only lives 30 minutes away).

critterskunky's picture
Last seen: 4 years 3 weeks ago
Joined: 09/06/07
Posts: 1629

My DH plans on taking 2 weeks off and then Fridays for a while after that. This would be our second so I'm going to need help getting in the routine of juggling 2 kids...

lmh101979's picture
Last seen: 4 years 2 months ago
Joined: 07/05/09
Posts: 966

DH's schedule is kind of weird so he will get 10 days after using some vacation. His parents (who I love more than life) will be here for that whole time I think. My mom, who lives in my neighborhood, said she would also take a week after they left. Honestly I feel so lucky to have all that time with help that it makes me not feel nervous at all about bringing home my third. (famous last words!)
I think if you can get a week take it, or even two! But it's also nice to save a little vacation for a time when you or baby is sick and you really need a hand. What does your DH want to do?

StarGazer78's picture
Last seen: 4 years 4 months ago
Joined: 09/11/11
Posts: 126

My DH is fortunately off of work in the winter (last year work didn't start up until June) so I'm going to have him home for a pretty good while. It is very fortunate, though, because we have no other family to rely on for help.