Sad News (m/c mentioned) xp

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Andy1784's picture
Joined: 09/18/08
Posts: 1372
Sad News (m/c mentioned) xp

As you already can tell from the title, we found out yesterday via ultrasound that baby is no longer alive. He/she made it to an estimated 6 weeks.

I am definitely disapointed because I did not see this coming. I am doing pretty well though. I guess I just think of it with a scientific mind and I know that with a fairly early loss, that embryo (baby, whatever you want to call it) was more than likely not compatible with life and I am very relieved that this happened naturally now versus later. It just wasn't ment to be and that is ok. Mother nature knows best in that case. Maybe I am coming off as callouse, but I really don't feel like I am mourning a child.

I wrote a lot of journals to myself over these past few weeks, and reading back over them, I think my subconscious knew. I wasn't able to picture a baby and I couldn't get excited about this pregnancy. I kept telling myself it was because it is my third and I was just over this part. In 3/4 of my journals, I go on about how I just wasn't feeling it at all. With both my other pregnancies we told family and friends right away about them, we really didn't show much restraint. With this one, I made Mike promise not to tell people yet "just because". He didn't get it at first, but obviously respected my wishes. My family knew as did 3 close friends (and all of you of course).

What I am a little angry about is that my body has no idea still and it is not fair that I have to still have all these stupid prego symptoms like nausea, freq urination, and tiredness all for nothing. I feel so wrong having this inside of me, I just want the physical part over with. Not to mention I still have to pass everything at some point. It willl pass, life isn't fair, but I have a lot of support and 2 beautiful babies that make it hard to stay mad about anything.

My 2 best friends took me out to a nice steak house downtown last night and bought me too much wine, LOL. I have amazing friends.

I plan to wait through the weekend and early week next week to see if things start up naturally. If not, I am going to take the cervidil to induce things and get it over with. I have a nice bottle of percocet too because I do not want to feel it all if it happens to be very painful. I love my natural birth, but pass the drugs please for this! Since it was a pretty early loss, it might not be so bad.

Anyhoo, sorry to write a long depresing novel, thanks if you got through it all. Oh and please DO NOT TURN OFF YOUR SIGGYS! I love seeing them, and seeing babies or pregnant people makes me happy. I will probably lurk around a bit and see how you ladies progress. I'll definitely be checking out all the beautiful babies that will be popping up in 7 months or so. HH9Ms to all of you!

Sassy112704's picture
Joined: 04/12/05
Posts: 414

Andy I am SO sorry about this! I have had two losses and it sucks!!! Please know that I am thinking about you and sending love your way.

jenboucher's picture
Joined: 08/12/08
Posts: 72

I'm so sorry! MC sucks -- there's no easy way to go about it. I hope the next week or so will come and go and it won't be too hard. Keeping you in my T&P!!

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

:grouphug: :bigarmhug:

I'm glad that you are doing okay, but any loss is hard and I'm sorry that you are going through this.

Joined: 06/26/11
Posts: 331

I'm so sorry, Andy. I'm so glad you have such awesome support from your friends and your beautiful children to help you heal. I wish you the very best.

Joined: 03/26/09
Posts: 141

I'm glad you have a great support network to get you through all of this. You are in my T&P.

Jbaum2's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 257

I am so deeply sorry for your loss! Are you in Canada or the Staes? If you are in canada, there is an all natural wellness store called saje that you can go to. (I think you can go online to there store too) They have a product called moon cycle 2. It is used to help with monthly cramps. When we found out our last pregnancy didn't last, I didn't want to "wait" for things to happen. You rub a little bit on your tummy and lower back. in a few days your body will do what it has to do to move things along. It also helps with the physical pain of your mc. We found out on a monday, I used this tuesday and wednesday and by sunday, it was over, and wasn't too painful.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

Joined: 12/07/10
Posts: 2421

I'm really sorry for your loss. I don’t think you sound callous at all. We all grieve in different ways. It sounds like you have wonderful family and friends to help you through this difficult time. I hope the next week passes quickly for you. Please take care of yourself. :bigarmhug:

lmh101979's picture
Joined: 07/05/09
Posts: 966

I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you are dealing with it in the best possible way. I hope that you do lurk on us occasionally and horray for good friends. We will be thinking about you.

critterskunky's picture
Joined: 09/06/07
Posts: 1629

:bigarmhug: I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope things pass without too much pain.

Andy1784's picture
Joined: 09/18/08
Posts: 1372

Thanks for all the T&Ps ladies, they mean a lot. It is nice to have support from this end too :). I am still doing pretty well, though physically I am soooo incredibly drained. Not looking forward to the inevitable both physically and emotionally, but I'll be glad for it to be over.

epusso's picture
Joined: 08/02/11
Posts: 6

I am so sorry for you loss. You attitude is simply amazing. I wish you the best of luck.

Joined: 07/03/11
Posts: 131

I'm so sorry for your loss!:bighug:

natelukesmom's picture
Joined: 02/08/09
Posts: 538

I'm so sorry. There are no good words when this kind of thing happens, just good hugs. Sending one your way.

Joined: 02/24/11
Posts: 1651

:bigarmhug: .. My condolences to you !! You are truely an inspiration because of your positivity

hopin2bpreggermeggers's picture
Joined: 02/22/10
Posts: 567

I'm so sorry. I've been out of town and just read this.

Words cannot express how sorry I am. As Tasha said, however, you are an inspiration to us all in how you are handling this.

Please let us know if you need anything. :bigarmhug:

IzzysMama's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 119

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your post was beautifully written.

socalmama's picture
Joined: 07/28/11
Posts: 334

Oh, Andy. That breaks my heart. I'm so sorry for your loss. (HUG)