Disclaimer: I actually LOVE my job.
So I usually don't admit this to the lay person because *gasp* I get judged most of the time ("oh, you work for those guys..."). But I'm a civil defense attorney who practices primarily in medical malpractice defense (yes, I defend the midwives, doctors, and hosptials of the world...and yes I'm paid by the medical malpractice insurers). There, I said it. Please don't judge me :).
In my line of work we see a lot of pregnancy\birth trauma cases -- all that I (an 8-week pregnant, previously infertile mother to be) needs to read and hear about. Well, I have a case now and I was researching the medicine of it in what is called the "green book," an OB\GYN specialty textbook.
I accidentally came upon a page which said "m\c and cerebal palsy rates are higher in instances of maternal seizures." AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I have epilepsy. Great! But what it didn't say was 1) the type of seizures (could be the big ones you think of, the small ones, or the absent ones) and 2) the actual increased rate (3% v. 2%, 75% v. 2%??). ALTHOUGH, they did say that 95% of women with epilepsy have healthy babies.
I have an odd form of epilepsy - I have a seizure every six minutes or so, but no one would really know. Occasionally, I look like I'm daydreaming but I'm fully aware and can speak (unlike most "absent seizures"). I've actually been studied b\c no one has ever seen anything like it. So I don't even know if those statistics apply to my form of epilepsy.
But now this is just ONE more thing I have to worry about. PCOS, epilepsy, etc. - everything I have seems to come with some m\c or birth defect problem. And the epilepsy medicine has a 1% chance of bilateral cleft. I did go off it when I was TTC, but now I'm concerned that I should have risked the bilateral cleft.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, sorry to vent. I just try to stay away from google. Yet, I get to go into work and defend a case of placental abruption or hypoxic injury. I only see the bad stuff, so in my mind that's all that occurs.
I will not mention this again, I promise. I don't want to scare any of y'all. I just had to vent before I yelled at my boss and blew my secret. And I'm not as crazy as I sound. I'm just a worrier which is probably worse for my babies than everything combined.
I JUST WANT 13 weeks to get here!!! T - 5 weeks!!!! :confused: