Alone? (Long, Vent)
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Thread: Alone? (Long, Vent)

  1. #1
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    Unhappy Alone? (Long, Vent)

    Is it just me, or does parenting get a lot harder while pregnant?

    It feels like my relationship with ds1 is falling apart right now. I'm sure that part of it is the fact that I'm exhausted all the time. He has stopped responding to any form of discipline or punishment, and the messes he creates require a lot of clean-up on my part. By the time I've cleaned up one problem, he's created another! It feels like I can't get on top of my game long enough (or fast enough) to have any positive interactions with him. The best we do these days is story time before bed, which is frequently interrupted by anti-bedtime tantrums.

    I know it's been worse the last couple days because dh is on a business trip. Today, he peed on the floor FOUR times (he is potty-trained), climbed his toy chest to get to stuff on a high shelf in the closet and dumped out ALL our board and card games and puzzles, and climbed up a chest of drawers in my room to get at dh's model airplanes while I was cleaning up the games. Oh, and he drew on the carpet with chalk, too.

    Why, yes, this is the same child who, a couple weeks ago, killed my computer with pee and destroyed a window screen with scissors he got from the kitchen counter.

    No climbing is something we're spending a lot of time on these days.

    Ds1 is a handfull to start with. He's stubborn and energetic, and he has a long attention span, so I can't just rely on him losing interest in a behavior. He's also perfectly capable in deciding he doesn't care about some reward or punishment (learned that during potty-training). At the same time, he's smart, loving, eager to learn, and ready to share.

    Please tell me I'm not the only one.
    DS 1 b. 1/19/09, DS 2 b. 1/12/11, DS 3 b. 3/3/13

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    Let me first start out by saying: I don't have kids. HOWEVER, my brother lives with me and he's 20. I've noticed lately he's been avoiding me. I said something to him yesterday and he said it's because every time I see him, I snap at him. DH and I have tried very hard to get the boy to accept some responsibility, but he just won't...and it has gotten 100 times worse since I'm pregnant because I am simply too tired to do everything I've been doing. I need him to step up to the plate and get stuff done.
    That said -
    I'm sure your DS is plucking your nerves more than usual because of your hormones. I have a much shorter "patience" span. I think that is perfectly acceptable Don't get discouraged! This too, will pass and then you can look back and laugh about how DH peed on your computer. Maybe. In like a few years.
    Jessica, Tim and Baby Julie

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    Super Poster NutMeg4189's Avatar
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    You aren't the only one. I feel like an awful mom right now to our DD. She's acting out with tantrums and accidents (also potty trained!) and just getting into things she knows aren't hers. She literally does everything we tell her not to right now. I'm so tired and frustrated with her constantly.

    My DH works nights right now 4 night a week and I dread every night he works because I hav either worked or been at school all day and am so exhausted of constantly getting after her. I just want to have this baby so I can get the energy back to be a good happy mom again
    Megan
    10/2008 11/2011

    It's a Boy !!! Nolan is due 3/2 !


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    Quote Originally Posted by babywings1 View Post
    This too, will pass and then you can look back and laugh about how DH peed on your computer. Maybe. In like a few years.
    Just had to laugh at the typo. I do laugh even now at the computer incident, just because it was so odd. I mean, what was the thought process (or even the impulse) behind it? But it would be even funnier if DH had done it instead of DS. :P

    I'm sorry about your brother. We used to have a roommate who was like that. He paid half the rent, and we still spent more than that on replacing the food in the fridge that he ate every month (on top of the food he bought for himself). He was a total geek too (and not in a good way). He left Legos in the shower, and we couldn't get him to stop watching porn as his favorite form of evening entertainment in the living room (common area). Someday, you, too, will look back on living with your brother, and you will both laugh and consider it a lesson learned. ((hugs))

    Thanks for the sympathy, Megan! I think I'm going to focus on being thankful that A) I'm a SAHM, and B) dh doesn't work nights. What are you studying?
    DS 1 b. 1/19/09, DS 2 b. 1/12/11, DS 3 b. 3/3/13

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    Super Poster NutMeg4189's Avatar
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    I work Monday and Friday at in home daycare as an assistant. I care for 6-8 kids there and they don't get to me like mine does haha.

    I'm studying Early Childhood Education. I want to have a home preschool after I graduate so I can be home when my kids get home from school I love what I do, but I miss being a SAHM which I was until this past January when I had to start going on campus. I was offered this job in May and since DD was already starting preschool this fall I couldn't really turn it down.

    A lot of the time I just feel like it just me and I'm not strong enough to be a mom and handle everything we have going on. I had lunch with a friend today who has a two week old and she made me feel a lot better. She said "your pregnant, raising a two year old, married, going to school Fulltime, and working. I don't know how in the world you do it." I told her I just have mini break downs and cry to my DH at night when I need too. Haha. I just keep going because what else am I going to do?

    We're hoping my husband is going to get a promotion around the time baby is born. If so, I will quit my job when I go back to school next fall. I want to be home with this baby as much as possible. I was with DD for the first 2 years of her life so having a baby in daycare, even part time is going to be a big adjustment.
    Megan
    10/2008 11/2011

    It's a Boy !!! Nolan is due 3/2 !


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    Quote Originally Posted by NutMeg4189 View Post
    I work Monday and Friday at in home daycare as an assistant. I care for 6-8 kids there and they don't get to me like mine does haha.

    I'm studying Early Childhood Education. I want to have a home preschool after I graduate so I can be home when my kids get home from school I love what I do, but I miss being a SAHM which I was until this past January when I had to start going on campus. I was offered this job in May and since DD was already starting preschool this fall I couldn't really turn it down.

    A lot of the time I just feel like it just me and I'm not strong enough to be a mom and handle everything we have going on. I had lunch with a friend today who has a two week old and she made me feel a lot better. She said "your pregnant, raising a two year old, married, going to school Fulltime, and working. I don't know how in the world you do it." I told her I just have mini break downs and cry to my DH at night when I need too. Haha. I just keep going because what else am I going to do?

    We're hoping my husband is going to get a promotion around the time baby is born. If so, I will quit my job when I go back to school next fall. I want to be home with this baby as much as possible. I was with DD for the first 2 years of her life so having a baby in daycare, even part time is going to be a big adjustment.
    I definitely get how other people's kids don't get to you as much as your own! I did a lot of babysitting in highschool, and then I taught music and worked with dh in a spec ed program when we were first married. It's so much easier when their behavior doesn't feel quite as much like a negative evaluation of how you're doing with them.

    GL to your husband! I thought about studying ECE, but I majored in psych instead. When it comes to overwhelm, I've heard a lot of mom's say that you focus on doing the next thing, and then the thing after that, and the thing after that, and eventually the day is over. I've been trying to learn how to adopt that approach, but it's really hard to put blinders on. I'm sure you know how it is--when the toddler has spilled, and you need to get dinner on the table, and while you're trying to deal with the spill and dinner (at the same time), the toddler gets into something their not supposed to--it just gets hard to see what's "next", rather than "I need to do everything RIGHT NOW."

    I think I hit my wall today when ds2 dragged a chair over to the sink and accidentally broke a plate while I was cleaning up all the game pieces. And when I came out to deal with that, I discovered that ds1 had peed on the floor AGAIN and gotten into dh's models. Obviously, I had to deal with the plate first (safety), but what next?

    But we survived, and that's what matters. And ds1 and I got some good cuddling in before his bedtime.
    Last edited by harper35; 09-09-2012 at 12:55 AM.
    DS 1 b. 1/19/09, DS 2 b. 1/12/11, DS 3 b. 3/3/13

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    Prolific Poster CrysRee31's Avatar
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    Hugs ladies, fortunately for me this isn't an issue I'm dealing with. As a result of starting over at this stage my DD is nearly 9 and although she does have some special needs she's excited and eager to help. One of my dogs however has decided he no longer needs to listen, he pees on the floor (and my DD's bed!) and barks at me fo no reason. Much easier than dealing with a toddler though I have to say.

    Hope it gets better for you ladies soon!!
    NutMeg4189 likes this.
    Crystal







  8. #8
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    See, I am the exact opposite. I can't stand other people's kids. I used to babysit and I'm not sure I can do it now unless it's for my nephews or a close friend because my parenting style is soooooooo different from most people's that I find certain things unacceptable that the parents would consider fine and it makes the kids hard for me to handle.

    For example, when I was 15, I watched this 4 year old REGULARLY and he stuck his head up my shirt. As an adult, behavior like that screams to me, "breastfed child" which isn't a bad thing at all but at that age I didn't understand stuff like that. DS3 has grabbed a few of my friends and yelled "boobies!" and since they know he's still nursing, they mostly just laugh it off BUT I use it as a teaching moment to tell him that he cannot just go around grabbing random breasts! When I told the mom that the behavior bothered me, she said, "he does that sometimes" and shrugged it off. Not once did she tell him not to do that to me again.

    Then there's the fact that because different family's handle discipline differently, other people's kids don't always respond to me so I feel pretty helpless.


    As for my own kids, right now they seem to be behaving worse. DS1 is mouthy and refuses to do most of what he's told. He's 10 but I swear he's going through puberty with the attitude he has! DS2 is delayed and comes with his own set of difficulties but the only new problem I'm having with him is that he doesn't understand why mommy can't play as much right now (sick and today I have massive hip pain). DS3...well...I think he noticed that mommy can't keep up with him atm so he's having a blast getting into anything and everything all at once.

    I think part of it is crankiness from school starting, part of it is my hormones, part of it is that DS1 doesn't want to move, and the rest is probably age related stuff.

    DH works long hours and some nights gets home around 8-9pm so I feel very alone right now but, when winter comes, he'll likely be laid off so I'll have his help during the later part of my pregnancy.
    ~Danielle~


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