Just a vent because you guys will understand

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sbaldwin's picture
Joined: 07/18/05
Posts: 164
Just a vent because you guys will understand

I was going to post this on the breastfeeding board but i know most of you are like me and still nursing. So last night i went out with some of my best friends because i am moving to Boston in a few days. Anyway we are just sitting at this really fun place talking and having a few drinks and all of a sudden i start getting the questions....so one of them was like you are still breastfeeding naya?? i was like yes she is only 12 months old and you make it sound like its crazy. Then another one said you are only doing it for yourself at this point and you need to get her off the boob. Then another said how many times a day do u nurse her? I said 4 times during the day and twice at night. it went on like this for like 30 minutes when i finally said why do all of you even care they are my boobs anyway...They said they were just wondering and one of them even said she was jealous that she wasnt able to nurse this long. I was just taken back with it all and i dont understand why people think its weird that i am still nursing my 12 month old. I mean jeez she isnt even 13 months old yet. Am i the only one here that gets this from people? I think when i start making new friends in Boston i wont be telling anyone i nurse my baby still and may even start telling my florida friends i weaned her. Why do people even care anyway?? Ok vent over.

Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

I haven't actually had anyone in real life question my choice to still be nursing. But I consider myself lucky. Honestly, the only reason I can see why people give such a hard time about it, or carry on about it is because they feel somehow threatened about it. If they honestly didn't care, they wouldn't talk about it. It's like me and football. I don't care about it and I don't talk about it, EVER.
I'm sorry you had such a crappy experience!

sbaldwin's picture
Joined: 07/18/05
Posts: 164

Thats great Mara that you have never felt that way. I just dont get it. I also feel like i went thru so much to get where i am with breastfeeding that why would i wean her. Human milk is so much better then cows milk anyway.

sbaldwin's picture
Joined: 07/18/05
Posts: 164

I wanted to also add that i think this is a very personal choice and just like i dont think there is anything wrong with weaning at 12 months or 6 months or whenever both baby and mommy decide i dont understand why my friends dont understand why i choose not to wean. I would never question someone about weaning at anytime.

Kayla1981's picture
Joined: 01/04/07
Posts: 1529

I think I am fortunate that I haven't really run into any negativity about me continuing to nurse Jordan. I feel like I have the support of her Pediatrician, my husband, my family (at least to the best of my knowledge) and most of my friends. Even tonight we were hanging out with one of my DH's coworkers and his family and he and his wife were praising my choice to continue to nurse her. I don't really feel like I need anyone's approval but I did appreciate their knowledge on the matter.

Truly, the one person who openly questioned my choice to nurse Jordan was a friend of mine who is completely naive on the subject. Jordan was only 6 MONTHS when she said, "You're still nursing? Why?? My neice was only breastfed until 3 months and she's fine. That's the longest I will breastfeed when I have a child." I just responded with some facts on why it's beneficial to her and left it at that.

You know you are giving Naya a wonderful gift. I will admit that I feel I benefit from breastfeeding Jordan, but that's not WHY I continue to breastfeed her. I do enjoy the closeness, the special relationship we have in that regard, the extra calories burned, etc. But I also know Jordan is benefiting. It's a win win. Obviously, you have our support 100%!!!

Kayla1981's picture
Joined: 01/04/07
Posts: 1529

Just have to add that once again, Naya and Jordan have something in common. We nurse 4 times during the day and twice at night. Biggrin

sbaldwin's picture
Joined: 07/18/05
Posts: 164

That was really nice kayla. Too bad we dont live closer. I got those questions at 6 months too but the other night was wierd. I felt like they were attacking me in a way. Thank you for your support.

quiltingmarie's picture
Joined: 10/09/06
Posts: 117

I get some grief occasionally. I'm open about my choice to nurse this long, and I'm rather vocal about getting every pregnant woman I know support for BFing. I just shrug and tell people its my kid, so I'll do what I want. I think most helpful is that DH doesn't care. The pediatrician was telling me I can start doing whole milk, and I just smiled and nodded. He'll be cut off of BM during the day when I go back to work in the fall, but I'm still pumping for now. (A whole pain in the ***, but only the best for my baby!) So just marvel at how nutso people are and then let it roll off you.

mlark1128's picture
Joined: 05/09/07
Posts: 742

"Kayla1981" wrote:

I think I am fortunate that I haven't really run into any negativity about me continuing to nurse Jordan. I feel like I have the support of her Pediatrician, my husband, my family (at least to the best of my knowledge) and most of my friends. Even tonight we were hanging out with one of my DH's coworkers and his family and he and his wife were praising my choice to continue to nurse her. I don't really feel like I need anyone's approval but I did appreciate their knowledge on the matter.

You know you are giving Naya a wonderful gift. I will admit that I feel I benefit from breastfeeding Jordan, but that's not WHY I continue to breastfeed her. I do enjoy the closeness, the special relationship we have in that regard, the extra calories burned, etc. But I also know Jordan is benefiting. It's a win win. Obviously, you have our support 100%!!!

Kayla took the words right out of my mouth. Smile I'm so sorry they treated you like that--it's really nobody's business! I'll never understand why people think it's ok to be so judgmental when it comes to pregnancy and breastfeeding. :confused:

Anyway I'm surprised my MIL is still being supportive (she tried to convince me to wean when I got mastitis both times). I think Jake being a preemie has a lot to do with it, and she finally understands that breastmilk is still the best thing for him. We had a nasty virus go through our house this week, and all Jake got was a runny nose.

Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 1346

kayla said it perfectly!!!

i definitely don't volunteer that im still nursing,,, granted its only once a day at this point which makes me pretty sad. People have no right to judge me or my body. he is a BABY! i am a MOTHER which makes this perfectly normal and healthy. if people ask i just say "were about done"... which is true. Id keep going if i had more milk. My husband supports me and thats all that matter. I don't need anyone else's approval, so i just don't talk about it Smile

reeveslady's picture
Joined: 11/23/05
Posts: 1423

I used to get lots of comments from my own family (and DH's family too) with my first, Sean. It got better with Luke, and now that I'm nursing Eve, they just don't say anything at all. I guess they figure I'll do what I want Lol I hope you find some friends who are supportive of your choices, Sara. We all need a little support and encouragement every now and then. It's always nice to know we're not the only ones! And boo to those who were grilling you. That was rude!

Our society was inundated with propaganda about how good formula is, back when it came out. People still cling to that, even though it was proven the best nutrition is what comes naturally. Our pediatricians love that I breastfeed so freely and for so long, so usually when I bring up that the medical professionals like that I do it, any naysayers are put in their place.

All that being said, those who use formula are doing what they believe is best for their situation. You never know; that mom who's feeding her baby formula may have tried for months to breastfeed, and it just didn't work out. I guess all we can do is share what we personally do, and then leave it at that. I wish we as mothers could be more supportive of each other. Life is just too short to argue!

smilesbaby1007's picture
Joined: 03/30/07
Posts: 255

I am kind of lucky that most of my friends are in the breastfeeding support group with me. I left old friends who would have been more judgemental back in Ohio. Sleep is a different issue. My small group keeps telling me if I would just CIO that she would sleep better. Gloria is one who can out cry anyone. sorry to steal the thread a little.