Laughing at the word no

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Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368
Laughing at the word no

So, used to be when Beni heard "no" in a certain tone she took it seriously. Although we had outlet covers and such, we would say, "no" in a serious, deep tone and she would stop midstep toward the outlet and turn around, and not touch it. Just one example. She used to listen. But these days it seems she thinks the word "no" in that same tone, etc is a game. When it comes to safety there isn't much she can get into that I'm worried about, but like,she pulls on the curtains sometimes or pushes the buttons on the tv (yes, the tv we have here is an old school huge one with buttons on the front!). It's annoying because she changes the channels while we're watching tv.

I want to nip this in the bud... what do you suggest??? What is appropriate discipline for a 1 year old?

mlark1128's picture
Joined: 05/09/07
Posts: 742

I think you just have to be consistent and offer distractions--keep telling her no and remove her from the situation. I don't know if you can do anything else when they are this young IMO. Jake does this too sometimes, we just keep telling him no and physically move him away from what he's doing, and try and distract him with something else.

Joined: 08/28/09
Posts: 398

Same as what Meagan said here.. we jsut keep saying it and she also thinks it is funny. She knows "no" too and she like shakes her head when we say it but she finds it funny. We physically move her or sometimes tap her hand when we say it. A friend once told me it is ok if they get uspet or cry when you do this becuase at least they are knowing it is wrong. We had this trouble when she was into the gagging herself thing (ewww) and she woudl cry when we were really stern about it but I do believe it made the situation better over time.

Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

Yeah, I don't mind upsetting her a bit, because I want her to get the message, that when we say no, we mean it. And we don't say it a lot. I do move her, but the last few days she makes that a part of her game... how fast can she get back to what I took her away from?

Joined: 02/26/07
Posts: 186

We also do the stern voice, if I say it twice and he still is doing it then I remove him from the situation. Yes, he at times thinks it is a game but typically if I get a little more stern and consistent it works.

Oh yes, we are entering the fun age Smile Our challenge now is biting! Not fun!

reeveslady's picture
Joined: 11/23/05
Posts: 1423

Eve has been like that for a month or so. She actually will get close to doing something we don't want her to do (like get over to one of the dials on our speaker system or stand up in her chair), look at DH or me, smile, say "Uh-uh!", laugh, and then do it. What we do with her is remove her from the situation and distract her with something. She obviously knows what she is about to do is wrong, so all we can do is distract.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

We try to avoid "no" because there is nothing explanatory in it. We use two phrases "Not yours!" and "hurt baby!". We say them sternly. Obvs we use the first when he is grabbing or playing with things that aren't his (clicker, older kids things, my food etc), and the second when he is doing something that could be dangerous to him (knives in the dishwasher, fireplace, outlets etc). We will tell him/redirect him once or twice, then either remove the item or the baby. It is easy for us to keep the clicker up high, but not easy for us to remove, say, outlets, so we try to both discipline ourselves to keep dangerous or even simply tempting (clickers, cell phones, sunglasses) things away from him, while simultaneously trying to help him learn what is dangerous/off limits to him, and why. I have no idea where we picked this up, but we did it with each of our other kids and it really worked well and didn't simply condition them to ignore the word "no" before they could even speak.

"removing" him consists of putting him in the playroom. Later on, we will use time outs, we have a chair in the dining room that we use for that, but that won't be till closer till 2 or so.

julieanddanny's picture
Joined: 03/06/03
Posts: 248

We remove for a couple times and if she doesn't stop she goes into the pnp for at least a few minutes - by then she's forgotten about what she was after...

Kayla1981's picture
Joined: 01/04/07
Posts: 1529

We are in the exact same boat. Like pretty much everyone has said, I think it's all about being consistent. It can be draining though b/c I know Jordan can be relentlessly persistent!

RyleesMom's picture
Joined: 10/10/03
Posts: 123

I agree with others.. just repeat NO.. and remove from situation.

Lainey is so used to being told no that it is now her favorite word. Lately when she sees something she isn't supposed to get she will point to it and tell me "NO!" in a firm voice with this sad look on her face. It is so cute I try not to laugh... because I want her to know she is correct! Today she grabbed the box of kleenex and brought it to me shaking her head and saying NONONONO!!! LOL!

mom22sofar's picture
Joined: 02/20/09
Posts: 306

I am having a tough time with Sophie on this one with hair pulling-she pulls hard, and it hurts a lot, often when lying in bed and I tell her no and she thinks it is a game and does it again. I tell her that hurts mama and she still does it. I am hoping it is a short lived phase!

Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

Thanks for the suggestions every one.

Melissa, I have heard that before. I think that is why, as I wrote, I try not to use the word no too much. (I read somewhere about creating a "yes" environment, not a "no" environment...sounds like you are doing the same thing.) When she hits I say things like, "that hurts" and like when she's in the kitchen and the oven is on I tell her it's hot and will hurt (and obviously watch her very closely). I guess it just will take a while longer for language and understanding to develop... it takes time!

Kayla1981's picture
Joined: 01/04/07
Posts: 1529

It's so strange b/c right after reading this thread, I read in a book about not overusing the word no. It was just saying that they do learn to ignore it or not take it as seriously and then when you really need them to listen, they may not stop what they are doing. I told DH about it and we caught ourselves a few times tonight but I do think I will make an effort to use short explanations as much as possible. Used to I would say no and then explain.

carg0612's picture
Joined: 09/23/09
Posts: 1554

I agree with pp. Consistency and firmness. And a physical removal from the item in question to dissuade her from doing it again.

"Time out" or "pause" removals I don't think are too effective until about 18 months or so when they have a better understanding. And some people don't like them altogether.

This is a tough time but a time when they trully learn how serious you are about things.

Keep at it - she'll get it, really she will. All my kids have gone through this too.

mishy80's picture
Joined: 06/28/09
Posts: 406

Well forget telling Aaron 'No" because if he is within reach of the person saying it, he will retaliate by hitting because he just hates us saying NO. As PP, I say no and the reason for the no on top of that and then distract him with something else. At this age they don't know what timeout etc is really but yeah definitely consistency is the key from both parents!

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