MIL issue - OT

7 posts / 0 new
Last post
carg0612's picture
Joined: 09/23/09
Posts: 1554
MIL issue - OT

I think most of you know that I have a really really really really b!t@hy MIL who makes me crazy and causes a lot of strife in my life.

So I have a small issue. My DH wants his boys and my DS#1 to go spend the night at MIL's house. I don't feel comfortable sending my DS#1 over there because she doesn't really like my son. She calls him names like "cry baby" and always blames him for everything even when it's obviously someone else's fault. She's even told me that she used to "resent" him. Who says that??? It's just because he's not biologically related to DH it's so stupid.

She's like that though. My DH's uncle has 3 bio kids and 3 adopted kids. She always distinguishes betwee the bio vs. the adopted like somehow the adopted ones are less.

My point is that DH won't send my DSS's for a sleep over without my DS#1. But I'm just not comfortable with MIL the way she acts with my son. But I don't think it's fair for my DSS's to be punished because MIL is such a cow. She's great to them and they should be allowed to go.

I've talked to my DS and he says he wants to go with his brothers but he's scared of "Nana" and that she'll make him cry. He said he would just let the other boys go without him.

Ugh. My MIL is a stupid, self centered, ignorant, vomitous cow. She's caused so much stress in my life and marriage and this is just another straw, ya know? It's no wonder my SIL is so messed up. My DH has his issues (very obviously cause by MIL) too.

Look, I'm not perfect and I have some issues of my own but this woman does more harm than good.

What should I do about the sleep over thing???

reeveslady's picture
Joined: 11/23/05
Posts: 1423

What a tough place to be in Sad I feel so bad for your DS. He so desperately wants to belong, but your MIL just doesn't seem to allow it. Does your DH know how scared DS#1 is of her?

carg0612's picture
Joined: 09/23/09
Posts: 1554

DH does know but he thinks that DS#1 is being a little over dramatic. He agrees that his mother is over the top and a total PITA though too.

I think we might try to schedule a sleep over for my kids with my mom on the same night as my DSS's go to MIL's. Maybe that way no one will feel left out.

reeveslady's picture
Joined: 11/23/05
Posts: 1423

I think that's a good solution. I wish family members understood how much of an impact they have on other members of the family. It's insane the emotional turmoil people inflict on others, especially those who are related (be it by paper or blood).

KBlaix's picture
Joined: 11/23/07
Posts: 140

"carg0612" wrote:

DH does know but he thinks that DS#1 is being a little over dramatic. He agrees that his mother is over the top and a total PITA though too.

I think we might try to schedule a sleep over for my kids with my mom on the same night as my DSS's go to MIL's. Maybe that way no one will feel left out.

A sleep over at your mom's is a great idea.

Before I read the replies I was going to suggest finding something special to do with your DS. I know he's missing out on a fun night with his brothers though. Maybe the 3 boys can have a fun night, at home, another night. Maybe they can camp out in the living room one night. Eat pizza and popcorn, watch a movie, play games, etc.

Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

I was also going to suggest that your DSSs go to MILs when your DS can go somewhere else special.

I'm sorry your MIL is such a PITA. Ugh.

carg0612's picture
Joined: 09/23/09
Posts: 1554

Thanks ladies. I'm going to try to schedule something with my mom. Either that or I'll just do something special for them here.

I just wish I could trust MIL - it makes me sick that she's so stupid.