First off all, it is soooooooo good to be home!!!! We stayed 24 hours. They wouldn't let us leave til they did his PKU screen and said it couldn't be done till he was 24 hours old. I was so itching to leave!!
Nicholas Andrew December 15 2011 9lbs 3oz, 21 inches
I went to my midwife appointment on Thursday afternoon. She checked me and I was 5cm and 90% effaced. She said "well, if I sweep your membranes you will be back here in labor tonight or tomorrow... or we can go upstairs and I can break your water and we can have this baby in a couple hours..." I paused for a second. I was 40w +3, had an extremely favorable cervix... and then was just overcome with excitement. YES YES YES LETS DO IT!!! I called my hubby and we all regrouped and went up to L+D.
They were all so accommodating with my wishes. I didn't get hooked up to any IV's. I was free to roam! Cherri broke my water at 5pm. It only took about 30 minutes for fast and furious contractions. Oh my how quickly I remembered what labor feels like! I labored on the ball for a bit, but really didn't like the pressure of sitting. I was really surprised how comfy the toilet was, as awkward as it seemed to be sitting there with DH! They were getting stronger and stronger and closer together. I started to feel that little wave of panic that says "I can't do this... this hurts... they're coming too fast... I want an epidural...."
Thankfully the nurse came in just at that moment and suggested we get in the shower. That helped tremendously. I did hands and knees and squatting in the shower for a while. Then I started throwing up. I was trembling and shivering all over from exertion. DH and the nurse helped me to stand, then BOOM another contraction. I had a few more kneeling on the bathroom floor waiting to get enough of a break between them to make it back to the bed. I was just starting to get "pushy" feelings. She checked me and said I was a 9 with just a tiny bit of cervix on the right side. She suggested I lay on the right side to get me fully to a 10. At this point I started vomiting like crazy and was soooooo grateful that I hadn't eaten anything in quite some time. I have no idea how much time had passed but I was really feeling time to push.
The nurse called the midwife into the room. They told me he was so low and ready to go he should be out in 3 pushes. No one had any idea how big he was! After about 30 minutes of pushing he was so stuck and wedged trying to get through my pelvis. He was decelerating with every push. My midwife knew we had to try something else. I had been pushing on my side. We changed to me kneeling and squatting which hurt so much less and felt more effective, but wow it was sooo much more tiring!! I got in some really good pushes before they got worried about me falling, I was so tired! I got back onto my side and again had big trouble progressing, he was decelerating, and the biggest part of his head was trying to get through my pelvis. The midwife started talking about pitocin. My pushing was peetering out, she was hoping if she could make my contractions stronger it would compensate for what I was losing in strength. I think once I heard the word "pitocin" I regained some mental effort from somewhere. She said pitocin was our best bet if I couldn't push harder because she didn't want to have to physically intervene. I was definitely afraid of needing a physical intervention, like an episiotomy or vacuum. She sent for the pitocin and I started pushing like crazy. about 6 more pushes and he crowned and his head popped out. WOW that was crazy and so shockingly painful! Then a moment of relief at his neck, then one shoulder and the next, and he was out! All before the pitocin arrived! My labor only took 4 hours. I pushed for an hour and a half.
We were all so shocked I had a 9+ lb baby in there! Me most of all! After the delivery was tough for me. I was shaking so hard and shivering and so cold. I had this panicky anxious feeling I just couldn't shake. I was so overwhelmed. It was so different from the calm relaxing epidural birth of Luke. Nick came out and somehow I just felt so frightened and shocky over what had just happened. I felt really guilty over how shaken I was... I was barely oohing and ahhing over my baby. It took me a good 4 hours to calm down. I'm not sure what that happened. Luke was born and I was all bubbles and tears and so excited and in love. Now that we are home I'm feeling so much better. I feel a lot more settled. Laying in our bed with him nursing, him all snuggled against me, is wonderful! THIS is how it should feel.
I'm starting to process the birth and I have realized what a GOOD thing it was I didn't get an epidural even though I wanted it sooo badly! I don't know how he would have gotten out had I been stuck on my back. Squatting is the only thing that got him out. I am so grateful in retrospect!!! I probably would have ended up with a forcep delivery, he was just so big!! I gained 22 pounds... and had a 9+ pound baby, I'm still SHOCKED. I have no idea how I grew such a big boy.