SAHMs.... how much of your day is specifically child-centered?

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Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368
SAHMs.... how much of your day is specifically child-centered? that might seem like an odd question...but I much of your day is spent doing things specifically for your kids- like learning or even just playing activities with them?

I feel like I should be doing more for Beni, because I am the main person she interacts with most days. But I also find that in the regular span of the day, we do things like eat and nap, and clean up and then housework... and there is very little time where I might actually sit with her and specifically do child-centered stuff.

But then...she helps me fold laundry, she plays in the tupperware cupboard while I wash dishes, she comes shopping with me, she helps clean up after meals, etc. So in a way I'm not super worried because I feel like there is plenty to learn just in participating in every day around the house stuff. And there usually comes a point in the day- after her afternoon nap, when most of the housework that I am going to get done that day is done, and we end up just playing- in her playroom or outside, usually until daddy comes home, and then I go to make dinner and he plays with her until dinner is ready. So that might be about an hour that we actually just play.

I wish we had more options for getting out of the house... we usually go shopping on Mondays, and there is a playgroup we try to go to on Tuesday mornings.... and Tues and Thurs afternoons she goes to my SIL's for a few hours while I tutor. So she gets to play with my nephew then. But we have no baby classes, libraries, museums, etc to go to.

And I will say, I do also think its important for her to know how to entertain herself- which she does reasonably well- so I'm not saying I think I need to keep her busy all the time, because I don't believe in that either. I guess I'm just questioning myself, and whether we have a good balance or not.

belindab's picture
Joined: 06/15/02
Posts: 1033

I've struggled with this too. Sometimes I feel like I don't "play" with them enough. Most of the day is spent straightening up or doing errands. We do read together every day so at least we get that in! A friend of mine and I were discussing this and she said she feels guilty at times too but neither of us remembers our moms playing with us a lot. We didn't feel deprived. Our moms were there when we needed them but we found ways to entertain ourselves. I think having a sibling makes a difference as well. My brother is 4 years younger but we still played together. Keaton and Noah play together during the day but there are times one will want just me. I try to make sure I stop for them when they seek me out. When it was just Connor, I may have played a little more but he was still pretty independent and did a lot of solo play. I've taught preschool since Connor was 9 months old so all of the boys have gone too at some point. It has always been on Tues and Thurs and they have all really enjoyed it. It's nice for them to be around other kids. I really believe kids learn a lot just from watching you do everyday things. Helping you with the laundry and cleaning up may not be what we consider play, but I think it is for them. It's still time with you.

I think you have a good balance. Beni gets to be around another child every week and is getting one on one with you. I think as moms we are always going to worry and doubt ourselves. If our kids are happy and loved at the end of the day, we are doing our jobs!

Joined: 02/26/07
Posts: 186

I agree with what Belinda said!!

I think with my oldest I did more actual playing, activies, ect. than what I do now. Now that I have three little ones they play together a lot! We also do the helping Mommy stuff too! They think it is great and add in learning things with it too. For example when folding towels, I say what color it is. When loading plates in the dishwasher we count them. That kind of stuff.
I also think that you and Beni seem to have a great balance. I think as parents we always question if what we are doing is enough. You are doing a great job! Smile

Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

Thanks ladies. I think being pregnant and feeling tired and like I just don't want to move isn't helping anything recently. But it's good to hear I'm not the only one doing things like this!