Suck to sleep

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Kayla1981's picture
Joined: 01/04/07
Posts: 1529
Suck to sleep

I'm sort of obsessed with this and I have no idea why. I really don't mind that I nurse Jordan to sleep at bedtime, twice during the night and at naps. It's nice that she goes to sleep so easily, especially when I think of how tough things were for so long.

But for some reason I'm always worrying about how or when or if I will have to break this habit. I don't have any immediate plans to wean her. I said I was fine going to 18 months and now I'm thinking it will likely be longer since she still nurses 6x in 24 hours. But I'm not sure I will want to continue indefinitely. I feel there will be a time that I won't want to nurse anymore and I hope she decides she is done before me! I don't want to wean her, it makes me sad to think of taking it away from her.

Anyway, this is sort of a ramble. I don't even know what my question is to be honest. Just want others thoughts on the topic of "suck to sleep" and weaning.

carg0612's picture
Joined: 09/23/09
Posts: 1554

I kinda feel you on this one. Even though I don't nurse Mason during the day anymore he still nurses to sleep and first thing in the morning. I was just talking to my DH about this last night. I'm considering stopping nursing altogether because I want to try and work out in the morning (I already get up at 5:30 - I just can't get up any earlier). So the only way for me to fit in a work out is to stop nursing.

I don't know what to tell you other than at some point they do get it. I think I will make sure Mason gets a nice healthy snack closer to bed time so he has a full tummy and then I'll rock him to sleep so we still have that close bonding time.

I'm not sure I'm ready quite yet but I've been tossing the idea around.

reeveslady's picture
Joined: 11/23/05
Posts: 1423

Eve is still nursing a lot too. I weaned the boys due to pregnancies and nausea (when they nursed while I was pregnant, I became really nauseated). Sean was much better at letting go of nursing than Luke was. Really, with Sean, all I had to do was stop offering. He nursed for the last time the day before he turned 15 months. Luke, on the other hand, did not want to give it up. Poor guy Sad His last nurse was during his 22nd month.

Eve is my last baby, so there won't be a pregnancy to stop her. I would rather she decide when she wants to wean, but I don't know if I want to nurse (for example) a 3-year-old. I may change my mind when/if she gets to be that age and is still asking for her milkies though. So no definite plans here.

jojogun's picture
Joined: 07/17/09
Posts: 561

I have been wondering about this too, the only time Nico nurses is for his naps & at bedtime (and a once during the night). It makes putting him down SO easy! I figure he will outgrow it eventually, I read somewhere that the comfort sucking is usually gone by 24 mths so hopefully he will outgrow it by then.
If he is REALLY tired & full, I can get him to sleep by rocking him on my shoulder, but that has only happened a handful of times. I was stressed/worried about the fact that he still nurses down & cosleeps (he really won't sleep on his own at all, even for naps) & finally just decided (after reading a LOT of books) that this is working for us now & we are all happy with things the way they are. My family thinks I am ridiculous, that he will be nursing when he goes to kindergarten, but I am pretty sure that won't happen!:)

sbaldwin's picture
Joined: 07/18/05
Posts: 164

U know i still nurse naya the same as you nurse jordan. 4 x during the day and twice at night. I nurse her before each nap and bed but she goes in her crib awake and always has. I dont plan to stop anytime soon so we will see what happends. I dont want to be still nursing her when she is 3 either but no plans to get pg again anytime soon so u never know. I have heard the sucking thing until 24 months too so i am going to go with that for now.

Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

I was just talking to my mom about some of this stuff today...and she did say to me that if there is one thing she definitely thinks looking back on things now, it's that babies ask for what they need, and that as soon as you meet their need, they can (and generally do) move on. And, she firmly believes that nothing like nursing, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, etc can damage a child (and by the way, she raised three what would today be considered independent, well-rounded, successful children)- and that they will outgrow these needs when they are ready (and it will never take as long as "some people" think it will).

It really will come down to what you're comfortable with Kayla, but I for one, am not going to cut off a form of comfort that Beni is used to and which is most effective for both of us- especially not when she can not yet rationalize or understand why such a change could be happening. I know this might put me in a minority, but, I am ok with sticking to my guns on this one. Smile

And by the way, I think the reason you feel obsessed with this issue, is because most mainstream parenting advice advises against this kind of stuff- but personally, I think it all goes along with the modern American attitude to parenting which seems to be all about convenience- not letting your children disrupt the life you had before them. Anyway... that is just my humble opinion!

Kayla1981's picture
Joined: 01/04/07
Posts: 1529

I hadn't heard anything about 24 months being a milestone in this regard. As with anything, I'm sure it varies but it's interesting if there is a general timeline to when kids outgrow it.

Once again, I just find comfort in knowing others are in the same situation. It's not that I thought I was doing anything wrong but I guess it's nice to know it's "normal" for lack of a better word. This is what is comfortable for Jordan and I so I don't know why I feel the need to think about how I will feel 2 months or 6 months, or 10 months from now. I honestly think I was sort of traumatized by the first 9 months of Jordan's life. I spent so much time trying to get her to sleep that I worry about anything disturbing what finally started to go right. It's no fun having your child scream them self to sleep, even when you're trying everything in your power to comfort them.

"Marite13" wrote:

I was just talking to my mom about some of this stuff today...and she did say to me that if there is one thing she definitely thinks looking back on things now, it's that babies ask for what they need, and that as soon as you meet their need, they can (and generally do) move on. And, she firmly believes that nothing like nursing, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, etc can damage a child (and by the way, she raised three what would today be considered independent, well-rounded, successful children)- and that they will outgrow these needs when they are ready (and it will never take as long as "some people" think it will).

It really will come down to what you're comfortable with Kayla, but I for one, am not going to cut off a form of comfort that Beni is used to and which is most effective for both of us- especially not when she can not yet rationalize or understand why such a change could be happening. I know this might put me in a minority, but, I am ok with sticking to my guns on this one. Smile

And by the way, I think the reason you feel obsessed with this issue, is because most mainstream parenting advice advises against this kind of stuff- but personally, I think it all goes along with the modern American attitude to parenting which seems to be all about convenience- not letting your children disrupt the life you had before them. Anyway... that is just my humble opinion!

I'm really not worried about this harming her. If anything, she has better associations with sleep b/c she can now fall asleep while being comforted in an effective way. Nursing her is very effective and I'm so glad I have this tool!

I know I've given up on some things b/c I chose to nurse. We tried bottles a few times but she didn't like it and I hated pumping so I have never been away from her for more than a few hours at most. While it means less freedom for me, I wouldn't change anything. But I know that not everyone is okay with doing things that way. My sister is one of those people who just wanted to "have her body back" after a year of nursing. Sometimes I wonder if she thinks I'm crazy! Especially since I still nurse at night. But I'm not harping on her b/c she is a great mom. We are just different.

mlark1128's picture
Joined: 05/09/07
Posts: 742

Kayla, Jake still nurses 6-8 times a day also (4-ish times during the day, 2-4 times at night). I don't have any plans of weaning him soon, though I really don't think I'll want to nurse past age 2. He shows no signs of weaning either...in fact he gets furious if I don't nurse him when he wakes up at night. Sometimes I get tired of that, to be honest, like if he's up for the 4th time to nurse in one night! By this age I had Luke night-weaned, but that's b/c he was a paci baby and I could just offer him his pacifier at night. Jake won't have anything to do with it. It's just nights that are hard!

But, like Mara said, I know it comforts him, so I'm not in a hurry to wean. Also with him being so small I like that he gets the extra nutrition from the breastmilk. The other day my mom was offering me all kinds of suggestions to help him wean, and eventually I had to interrupt and just say "I have no interest in trying to wean him right now, but thanks!" She got the point! And then she totally understand why I want to keep nursing.

So, long rambly post later, I understand!!!

sbaldwin's picture
Joined: 07/18/05
Posts: 164

You are not alone. Naya is the same way at night when she wakes up. If she doesnt get to nurse she goes crazy so for now that what we still do too. I give up alot too because she never took a bottle either but it goes so fast and before you know it jordan will be starting kindergarden.

Kayla1981's picture
Joined: 01/04/07
Posts: 1529

"mlark1128" wrote:

Kayla, Jake still nurses 6-8 times a day also (4-ish times during the day, 2-4 times at night). I don't have any plans of weaning him soon, though I really don't think I'll want to nurse past age 2. He shows no signs of weaning either...in fact he gets furious if I don't nurse him when he wakes up at night. Sometimes I get tired of that, to be honest, like if he's up for the 4th time to nurse in one night! By this age I had Luke night-weaned, but that's b/c he was a paci baby and I could just offer him his pacifier at night. Jake won't have anything to do with it. It's just nights that are hard!

But, like Mara said, I know it comforts him, so I'm not in a hurry to wean. Also with him being so small I like that he gets the extra nutrition from the breastmilk. The other day my mom was offering me all kinds of suggestions to help him wean, and eventually I had to interrupt and just say "I have no interest in trying to wean him right now, but thanks!" She got the point! And then she totally understand why I want to keep nursing.

So, long rambly post later, I understand!!!

I feel the same. At first I said I would definitely breastfeed until 1, maybe longer. Then as she got closer to 1, I said 18 months. Now she is almost 14 months and I say I'm okay going to 2. We will see as time passes how it will go. She may decide she is done on her own before then, who knows. But when Jordan wakes at night, I wait a little while to see if she is just going to fuss for a minute or if she is going to start full on crying. If she is full on crying then I go in and if I go in then I have to nurse or she gets so frustrated too. She actually pushes on me and will not even let me rock her.

"sbaldwin" wrote:

You are not alone. Naya is the same way at night when she wakes up. If she doesnt get to nurse she goes crazy so for now that what we still do too. I give up alot too because she never took a bottle either but it goes so fast and before you know it jordan will be starting kindergarden.

I know! I cannot believe she is over a year already. There will be a day that this will be something I miss. Our quiet time together.

mlark1128's picture
Joined: 05/09/07
Posts: 742

"Kayla1981" wrote:

I feel the same. At first I said I would definitely breastfeed until 1, maybe longer. Then as she got closer to 1, I said 18 months. Now she is almost 14 months and I say I'm okay going to 2. We will see as time passes how it will go. She may decide she is done on her own before then, who knows. But when Jordan wakes at night, I wait a little while to see if she is just going to fuss for a minute or if she is going to start full on crying. If she is full on crying then I go in and if I go in then I have to nurse or she gets so frustrated too. She actually pushes on me and will not even let me rock her.

Yeah Jake arches his back screeching. It's really pleasant at 2 and 4 am. And what I don't understand is that we co-sleep, and I will nurse him pretty readily once I realize he isn't going to settle back down on his own, so why the crazy screeching???

Kayla1981's picture
Joined: 01/04/07
Posts: 1529

"mlark1128" wrote:

Yeah Jake arches his back screeching. It's really pleasant at 2 and 4 am. And what I don't understand is that we co-sleep, and I will nurse him pretty readily once I realize he isn't going to settle back down on his own, so why the crazy screeching???

I just try to tell myself that Jordan is really really good at communicating her needs (and wants). Wink I agree it's delightful at 2am.

reeveslady's picture
Joined: 11/23/05
Posts: 1423

Eve is the same way when she doesn't get her boobies the very moment she asks for them. I'll pull up my shirt and be in the process of unclamping my bra cup, and she'll start screaming bloody murder that she's not sucking right then. She is very impatient about her milkies! It's good to know she's not the only one.

nurseamanda's picture
Joined: 10/11/09
Posts: 353

"Kayla1981" wrote:

I know! I cannot believe she is over a year already. There will be a day that this will be something I miss. Our quiet time together.

Lurker from June

My best friend is going through some fertility troubles right now. She has been trying to get pregnant now for 3 years, and is doubtful that it will ever happen.(she has PCOS and her DH has low sperm count) I wasn't thinking one day and was ranting about how I want to get my LO to sleep on her own without rocking/feeding etc... and she told me to stop stressing over it and just enjoy the quite (and sometimes not so quiet!! haha) times with her, and be thankful that I have a baby to rock to sleep. It really made me realize that she was totally right... just do what works for you, and enjoy your time together. Smile

sbaldwin's picture
Joined: 07/18/05
Posts: 164

That is so true..i think about this all the time when i have my bad days with my 3 healthy happy kids. Lets just be thankful we have these awesome little people in our lives. But we can still vent to each other right..lol

Kayla1981's picture
Joined: 01/04/07
Posts: 1529

Jordan was a three year project that included 3 surgeries and fertility treatments. So I will never forget how blessed I am. That is why I thank God for her every single night when I put her to bed! I always felt that I would have a child one way or another but I am fortunate that I didn't have to wait as long as many couples do.

sbaldwin's picture
Joined: 07/18/05
Posts: 164

Aww..that is such a wonderful thing kayla. She is a very special little girl for sure.

Kayla1981's picture
Joined: 01/04/07
Posts: 1529

"sbaldwin" wrote:

Aww..that is such a wonderful thing kayla. She is a very special little girl for sure.

As all of our LO's are! Biggrin Special, that is.

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