Taking an hour to fall asleep...

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Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368
Taking an hour to fall asleep...

Hey ladies- what do you reckon about this...

So, Beni has gone to bed around 7 for a long time. We usually try to start her bedtime routine (every other night bath, pajamas, brush teeth, read book, say goodnight to daddy, nurse, sleep) by 6:30 or 6:45 and have lights out by 7 or 7:15.

For about two months now, we've changed the end of our routine to where she no longer actually nurses to sleep. I let her nurse for a while, then I sing a song, which signals to her we're almost done. When I finish singing she pops off, and then falls asleep on her own. I stay with her, but she falls asleep without nursing. Sometimes she resists the end of nursing and complains, and sometimes she doesn't.

The last week or so, since we returned from vacation, she has been pretty easy to pop off. She'll take a drink of water then, and then lay down. Then she'll lay there and I always think she must be pretty much asleep...but then next thing I know she's getting up again and moving around. For the last week, this has lasted at least until 8pm- so for a good hour! Last night was ridiculous, and took til 9.

To some extent she honestly doesn't seem tired- like, she's just still mostly happy and screwing around.

Do you think for some reason she is ready for a later bed time? Like I feel like maybe if we shot for an 8pm bedtime instead of 7pm, maybe she would be more tired and fall asleep more quickly... or do you think she honestly maybe needs to go down earlier... like she's hitting a second wind which is keeping her up or something?

I'm not sure what to do... I just know I can't take another night like last night!

(Also, I find myself wondering often lately... why doesn't pg.org have a sleep board? I mean there's a separate board for every other aspect of baby life... why not sleep?)

Joined: 01/18/06
Posts: 1626

what are her naps like during the day?

Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

All over the place. We're not doing well at naps lately. She is usually down to one nap, but, the time of it can vary from morning to afternoon. Today, she woke at 8am, and then napped from 3:15-4:30. Other time she still asks to go down somewhere between 10 and 11. And often, because we're in the car, she'll sleep around noonish for her usual 45 minutes.

Tonight, we didn't try to put her down so early, considering she only woke up at 4:30. So I was in bed with her just before 8...and she did the same thing... didn't really fuss about not nursing, almost fell asleep, and then woke up again and again, just being silly. I was really tired today, and so i fell asleep waiting for her to fall asleep, but I only came out of her room at 9. Sad

belindab's picture
Joined: 06/15/02
Posts: 1033

Keaton goes down at 8 at night. He used to go down at 7:30 but about 3 months ago, he started doing what Ben's doing. So, I moved back his bedtime and it really helped. He does have a fairly consistent nap time though. Usually goes down around 12:30 and sleeps about 2 hours. If he sleeps past 4:00, he's not ready for bed at 8, and it can be closer to 9 (needless to say I try to make sure his nap is over before 4!).

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

I'd try hard to keep her at one nap, and move it up to around 1, or soon after lunch. I bet that with the earlier sleep she will go down easier for you as she will be tired. Jake still goes down at 6:45, my almost 4 and 5 year old go at 8.

jojogun's picture
Joined: 07/17/09
Posts: 561

Nico moved to a later bedtime about a month ago. He used to go right at 7, but he started doing the same thing as Beni & since I lay with him it was driving me crazy to lay upstairs for an hour or more. He now goes down between 7:30-8, the closer it is to 8 the faster he is out. His naps haven't changed with his new bedtime & I love snuggling with him at bedtime but an hour of him playing around was no fun.
ETA, he takes one nap around noon for about 2 hrs.

Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

Thanks for the input everyone.

The nap thing is hard because we have very limited opportunities for things to do outside the house here in Vientiane, so, when they come up, I don't turn them down- but it means we're out of the house different hours almost every day of the week, which makes it very hard to stick to a consistent nap time.

Beni fell asleep in the car today on the way home from breakfast and slept about 11-11:45, so I guess we'll see how tonight goes!

Kayla1981's picture
Joined: 01/04/07
Posts: 1529

My opinion would be that an earlier nap is the right track. We are night owls so Jordan's bedtime is 8:45 to 9:00 but I cannot let her nap past 4:30 or it messes her up. (That's of course IF she takes a nap, lol.). Let us know how it goes!

ETA- I totally get what you said about a sleep board! I would be very well known on it, if it were to exist. Wink

Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

"Kayla1981" wrote:

I totally get what you said about a sleep board! I would be very well known on it, if it were to exist. Wink

Because it's one thing to bring sleep issues to your BB because it's all same aged kids... but there's no guarantee that anyone else is having an issue. A sleep board would be a place to take issues, where everyone brings issues- just like the bfing boards or the cding boards. Yeah, I think there should be a sleep board.

mist1006's picture
Joined: 01/10/07
Posts: 1018

Sleep begets sleep. I agree with others that a consistent nap is important. I don't really like the constraints that nap time puts on us, but if they don't nap when they're supposed to (both my nearly 4 yr old and Ben) then they don't go to bed easily. My kids thrive off routine and if we throw off a part of it the whole day is a mess.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

"mist1006" wrote:

Sleep begets sleep. I agree with others that a consistent nap is important. I don't really like the constraints that nap time puts on us, but if they don't nap when they're supposed to (both my nearly 4 yr old and Ben) then they don't go to bed easily. My kids thrive off routine and if we throw off a part of it the whole day is a mess.

I agree with this, but then again my DH called me the nap naz! for years because our entire lives revolved around the nap schedules ~ they still do, it is essential for us.

Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

"Potter75" wrote:

I agree with this, but then again my DH called me the nap naz! for years because our entire lives revolved around the nap schedules ~ they still do, it is essential for us.

I don't disagree with this... but, a few of you have also mentioned here and there how you HAVE to get out of the house every day for a few hours, etc. So I guess I'm just not doing very well on finding a balance between the two, because as I said, we have limited options for getting out of the house here- I mean, unless we literally want to go wander the aisles of a tiny grocery store (and when I say small, I mean, think of your corner 7/11- that's how big our grocery store is) or something... we don't have museums or gym/daycare or good parks or malls or... well, name something else you do... I'll probably be able to tell you we don't have it here. So, when there is a playgroup, or a chance to have lunch with a friend, we jump on it, because otherwise we're stuck at home (or out without a purpose).

Anyway.... she slept from 11-11:45 today, and we put her down at about 7:45 and I was downstairs by 8 or 8:15, so that went very well. I'll do my best to get her an earlier nap- and honestly, the 3-4 one yesterday was weird, she doesn't usually EVER sleep that late...it's because it was a Saturday.

Joined: 01/18/06
Posts: 1626

If it were me, I would be keeping one nap, and trying to get it to lengthen as much as possible.

Babies and most young children still need an early bedtime. Her waking an hour after bedtime could be from her body's normal reaction to sleep. Like her short naps. I know those are really hard to work with. Violet was a 45 minute napper for a long time. But if their sleep bank is running on a deficit the body reacts with more 'awake' hormones and it can interfere with any sleep segment. Nap and nighttime alike.

If she is really fighting a longer nap, or if there is no time, I would honestly try putting her to bed before 7pm. I know it seems counter-intuitive, but my guess is she is over stimulated and her sleep bank is messing her up a bit.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

"Marite13" wrote:

I don't disagree with this... but, a few of you have also mentioned here and there how you HAVE to get out of the house every day for a few hours, etc. So I guess I'm just not doing very well on finding a balance between the two, because as I said, we have limited options for getting out of the house here- I mean, unless we literally want to go wander the aisles of a tiny grocery store (and when I say small, I mean, think of your corner 7/11- that's how big our grocery store is) or something... we don't have museums or gym/daycare or good parks or malls or... well, name something else you do... I'll probably be able to tell you we don't have it here. So, when there is a playgroup, or a chance to have lunch with a friend, we jump on it, because otherwise we're stuck at home (or out without a purpose).

Anyway.... she slept from 11-11:45 today, and we put her down at about 7:45 and I was downstairs by 8 or 8:15, so that went very well. I'll do my best to get her an earlier nap- and honestly, the 3-4 one yesterday was weird, she doesn't usually EVER sleep that late...it's because it was a Saturday.

I'm totally one of those Moms, being in the house all day is really hard for me. We just leave for the same hours every day (for us it is all morning then home for naps). I understand what you are saying, I just think that without consistency on your part you can't expect consistency on her part, as far as sleeping goes, you know? I'm glad she had a good day/night for you today!

Joined: 08/28/09
Posts: 398

Avery has been having similar issues with bed time but it is just taking like 30 minutes now rather than the usual 10 but I think it is because we got out of routines and she was sick and I was sick so it made a mess. We need a more consistent routine of like bath closer to bed, two books and then the crib. Now it is bath then she comes down and plays and watches a show for like an hour and we go up to read a book and then she fights us.

We are totally learning that the nap time is a big thing for us and for her. It is hard because sometimes if we are out she will fall asleep in the car too early and it really does throw off our day. But on daycare days she has a routine and stays up until around 12:15 and those nights are much much easier for bed so I believe that says something.

I totally agree with the nap time and getting out and about being an issue. Here it is that a lot of places done open until 10 and then she falls asleep on the way home. So I just even get her out in the yard running around and playing for at least an hour. At daycare even though it is cold they still go on thep layground and usually for a walk each day so we try to keep some of this on the weekend.

Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

Well, last night she went down quickly (enough) and slept til 2am without waking! Also this whole week I have made her nap a priority over lunch- she's basically napping at lunch time now, and then we eat at like 1 or 1:30 when she wakes. It works better for us- especially since on Tuesdays I have to be leaving the house for tutoring around 1:30- so I can send food with her, but I can't "send a nap with her".

Thanks for all your input ladies. Hopefully the night-weaning we are doing will make some impact as well. And hopefully it won't be too hard to stick to our routine when our lives get turned upside down in just 9 short weeks when we go back to the States and settle in there for the next 4 mos!