Update on Katelyn and Emmy

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Kayla1981's picture
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Update on Katelyn and Emmy

I recently sent Katelyn a message on FB to check in on her and she asked me to post this for you all to read. As she mentions in the message, she doesn't have internet right now so it's hard for her to get on preg.org much.

Hey Kayla. I know you wrote me forever ago and I'm so sorry I never replied back.
I'm living in my own place now and am trying to keep it as cheap as possible, so reluctantly decided not to get internet. Thank goodness for iPhones, but they aren't the best for writing long messages!

You can probably tell from my FB that my life has gone through some major changes lately. Without going into a lot of detail, Drew and I filed for divorce in March. In December, he decided to take an oil field job in Montana and moved up there permanently. I tried my hardest to move Emmy and I up there as well, but surprisingly, housing costs are outrageously high due to the oil boom that is going on up there. There was no possible way we could afford $2000/mo for a 5th wheel (which was the cheapest I could find). Drew works 20 days on/10 days off, so we decided that he would just come home on his days off. However, he didn't come home from Feb-April and eventually I found out there was another girl involved. Long story short, he made it clear that he doesn't want a long distance relationship and still blames me for everything, because I was the one who didn't go up there with him.
I went back to work in February, a small starter job that didn't pay well, but enough to get my own apartment and away from my parents (started feeling suffocated very quickly)! I was there up until mid May when I got offered a job with our County Counsel law office where I'm working now. It pays almost double what I was making before, but over the past 3 months I have become so far in debt that I feel like I'm drowning more and more every day, and I am trying so hard to dig myself out.
I have big goals for a future career and was very honest with my boss upon being hired that this job will be very temporary for me. I am trying to get back on with our Sheriff Dept, where I worked before I got married. I may go back to dispatching, but in the long run want to be Coroner. I'm applying to college next Fall to get my BS in Biology and kick start the job opportunities.
As far as the divorce goes, this whole time my number one goal has been to keep it as civil as possible for Emmys sake. I want Drew and I to be able to work together to never have her in the middle of a battle. I have been determined to not get a lawyer and we agreed on an amount for child support, but he refuses to pay it or help me out at all. The he blindsided me by attempting to get full custody and is determined to prove me as an "unfit" mother, because I'm on WIC and food stamps so can't support myself, while he's making $6000/mo and feels Emmy would be better off with him and his girlfriend in Montana... Everyone tells me to get a lawyer and get the money I deserve, but I just can't bring myself to lower to that level and try to screw him over... I'm just in such a battle with myself, family, friends, etc.... And what is best for Emmy? I know for certain that she needs her mom who has been with her 100% of the time, but then when I'm overdrawn the day after payday I feel it would be better for her to be supported... It's a constant struggle.
Emmy, on the other hand, is doing wonderful. She is what keeps me going every day. We just celebrated her first birthday, just a small family get together at a park and my friend made a cake for her which she LOVED. We had to take it away from her before she ate the entire thing. I have one cake picture in my album if you haven't seen it yet She can stand up on her own for a really long time and I know she could walk if she tried, but she thinks it's funny to just squat down and not do it. That's ok though, I'm not in a huge hurry to chase her around anyway! We have a little scare as of today when her TB test came back "inconclusive" and I have to take her to get chest x rays on Monday. The Dr seems to think it's fine, but there is some concern with Drew having been in Iraq. I'm just trying not to worry about it this weekend, I have way too many other things to stress about.
Now I feel that I'm rambling and am sorry. I hope you don't regret checking in on me! Haha. I miss p.org as well and if you want you can post this message or let them all know the drama that is my life, and that one day I'll make enough $$ to have internet! At least tell them hi for me! I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your thoughts and prayers! Thank you so so much.

Love, Katelyn & EmBug!

And keep Emmy in the thoughts and prayers! There was a positive diagnosis for active TB but they are going to another doctor to get a second opinion.

ETA: She is trying to get Emmy an appt. at the Children's Hospital a couple of hours from their house. She said she would keep me posted.

carg0612's picture
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Oh my heart goes out to Katelyn. I do hope she gets a lawyer. It will be difficult for her to keep custody without one.

I'm glad that Emmy seems to be doing well and I hope the TB situation gets straightened out for her.

Lots of T&P their way. Katelyn sounds like an amazingly strong woman and I hope so much that she is able to make things work for herself!

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I don't know if you'll be checking in to read this Katelyn but wanted to leave you with a hug and encourage you to get a lawyer. Not to drag him through the mud but to get Emmy what SHE deserves. You wouldn't have to struggle so much if he was helping to support her like he's supposed to. I also don't think it's correct to beleive she would be better off with him. He's practically abandoned her and any court official could see that.

((HUGS))

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Sad Katelyn, if you are reading this, getting a lawyer will help Emmy get what she needs (child support especially). I know you don't want to go through legal battles, but it's unacceptable that he's not giving you anything for your baby girl.

And lots of thoughts and get well wishes to Emmy.

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Thank you, Kayla, for posting the update. I am spending the night at my parents' house tonight, so am taking the opportunity to catch up with the internet. The plumbing in my apartment is completely backed up, so I have no working toilet, sinks, or shower.. Ahh somedays I have to laugh at my misfortune.

Emmy was diagnosed with active TB along with pneumonia on Friday. Over the weekend, she started showing major symptoms of pneumonia and became a very, very sick little girl. I took her to the doctor this morning and we spent all day doing further x-rays and blood tests. She has to go back in tomorrow for additional blood work. They are trying to rule out Valley Fever (which is occaisionally mistaken as TB) before they start treatment for TB. If they decide treatment is necessary, she will need to be hospitalized for 3 days in order to collect sputum to do a culture and "officially" diagnose the TB. Then the treatment requires 9 months of medication with frequent trips to the specialist to check her organ functions. I'm just praying that she doesn't have to go through all that.

Thank you everyone for your responses and your concern. I truly appreciate you checking in on me and not forgetting about us Biggrin

reeveslady's picture
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Sending snuggles to sweet Emmy...I hope she's better really soon. And sending huge hugs to you too.

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Awww Katelyn ((HUGS)) to you and to Emmy, I hope she's better soon and I hope you can work things out with your Ex so you don't have to be under such pressure. Take care!! x

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So sorry about your divorce. Definetly get a lawyer as it is in the best interest of Emmy. So sorry about the diagnoses and hope she gets better soon. You both are in my thoughts and prayers.

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Oh Katelyn, my T&P are with you and Emmy. I have been keeping up with you since we were on the TOC board together. I'm sorry for all you are going through. You are an amazing woman, with an amazing daughter, and your determination will pay off. Lots of hugs to you both.

reeveslady's picture
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Just an update for anyone who doesn't have FB--the tests came back that it's not TB!!!! I don't think I've been happier for a diagnosis of "only" pneumonia.

Get better soon, Emmy!

Kayla1981's picture
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I'm glad you posted that update! I was just thinking I needed to come her and let everyone know. Like you said, "just" pneumonia doesn't really sound like something you would normally say but in this case it was the better alternative.