Update, questions, info - you know, a typical Marie post

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Joined: 11/30/08
Posts: 225
Update, questions, info - you know, a typical Marie post

Hi ladies. I have a lot to cover, so I'm posting it all in one post, as is my typical fashion.

First - I think Than is done breastfeeding, and I'm not feeling ready to be done. The only time he will nurse is first thing in the morning, for about two minutes, and only from one side. He doesn't to wait for the milk (I'm not producing very much), he doesn't want to cuddle, he never asks for it. Sunday, I didn't nurse at all, and he didn't even notice. So, does he sound ready to be done with breastfeeding? And how do I come to terms with it? I had hoped to nurse for a long time- 2 or 3 years- and even tandem nurse when we had another baby. How do I deal with this?

Second - It's time for Than's first haircut. I'm planning to take him to a haircut place that specializes in kids' cuts. He's not much into TV, so a movie won't hold his attention very well. I can cut hair (I went to school for it), but I don't want to cut his because he will be trying to look at me, grab the scissors, squirm away, etc. What suggestions do you have to keep him occupied while they are cutting?

Third - We have decided to TTC!!!! We have been back and forth for months, trying to decide when the right time would be. And we have decided to try after my next period. I've had my period back for a few months, and have been temping off an on for a month or so. (Here's my chart.) I'm still not sure how long my cycle is or when I ovulate. We are going on a cruise with my extended family in the middle of August (13-20), and I think I'll ovulate the week of or the week before. If we conceive in August, the new baby will be due in May- Yay another moonbeam! Since we plan on having only two kids, we're completely okay having their birthdays in the same month. This would make our two kids two years apart, and we're going to be encouraging them to be best friends. I would love to have a little girl to dress up in little tutu skirts and big flower headbands, but I would also love to have a little brother for Than to rough house with. So, start sending baby dust our way! Wahoo!

Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

Hi Marie-

I don't know anything about haircuts (Beni hasn't had one yet). YAY for TTC!!!! Good luck to you!!!!

As for the nursing thing... he could just be having a little strike. There is some literature out that that would say that a child wouldn't self-wean this young. I know that goes against a lot of people's experience, but, anyway, it's what some people say. You can always just keep doing what you're doing- even if it is for only two minutes. Maybe he doesn't want to nurse for hours anymore, but, maybe two minutes is what he needs. Sara thought her daughter was done just recently too, and turned out it was just a nursing strike... you never know! I would say, especially if it's something you wished you could continue with, then just keep going, don't feel like you have to make any decisions, and see where you end up. Maybe he's dealing with something now, and once he's over it, he'll be way back into it! Never know!

Kayla1981's picture
Joined: 01/04/07
Posts: 1529

I am sure Mara has done a lot more reading on the subject so I am only speaking from what I know or have heard...

I would keep offering at times you think he might be interested. Maybe first thing in the morning or before naps or bedtime when things are quiet. I know Jordan has a very hard time nursing if we are out in the living room and her Daddy is near by. She is way too interested in what he is doing to focus. She will nurse in her room if it's dark and quiet though. Maybe try changing the environment? But my mother said I weaned at 11 months. She said she would try to nurse me and I just refused. I do know how adamant she was about trying to continue b/c she had two other girls to worry about as well but I do think some kids just loose interest at some point. But like I said before, I would encourage you to keep offering if you would like to continue to breastfeed him. Mara might be on to something when she mentioned nursing strikes.

No idea on the haircut business! I know I hand Jordan my phone when I am desperate to keep her occupied. Maybe a new toy that he can play with? Maybe just being in a new place will keep him still? Or maybe if he sits in your lap? I don't know.

Congrats on TTC!!! Good luck!!!

Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 1346

"selosmini" wrote:

The only time he will nurse is first thing in the morning, for about two minutes, and only from one side. He doesn't to wait for the milk (I'm not producing very much), he doesn't want to cuddle, he never asks for it. Sunday, I didn't nurse at all, and he didn't even notice. So, does he sound ready to be done with breastfeeding?

that sounds exactly when i went through with Luke. It surprised me because he LOVED breastfeeding! i think it was more than a strike because what you described is exactly the behavior he had, and it went on for 4 weeks. He only nursed if I chased him down and offered. he would literally take 2 sips and be done. He last nursed about a week before his 1st birthday.

it was sad! i really miss breastfeeding. i still miss it. he used to FLIP OUT if he saw me changing b/c he wanted to nurse. I dont think he even remembers breastfeeding anymore. I really miss the cuddling. At least I get to do it again in 6 more months!

as for haircuts... im debating! It may be soon, and as for TTC, GOOD LUCK!!!!!

sbaldwin's picture
Joined: 07/18/05
Posts: 164

Yes Mara is right i thought naya was done a few weeks ago. She went a day without nursing and i was crushed. I just kept offering it to her and she pushed me away. The next day it was back to normal and now she is nursing the same 4 x a day and twice at night. Some days we are on the go and she doesnt nurse until bedtime. I would just go with it and not stress. Keep trying and let him push u away or he may start nursing until the milk comes down again soon. I think naya's problem was her molars. As for the hair cut i have no idea because i didnt cut either of my boys long curly hair until they were almost 3. I loved their long blonde curls and i didnt want to let go. Now they have short hair but beckett still hates to have it cut. I just do it myself with clippers. Naya wont have a haircut for years so we dont have to worry about that. Good luck with ttc. My boys are 2 years and 5 days apart and i LOVE it. We do 1 birthday party for both of them and it works out great. I love having 2 boys so close in age and yes they are best friends. I am hoping to have a best friend (girl) for naya one day but we go back and forth on this. 4 is alot.

reeveslady's picture
Joined: 11/23/05
Posts: 1423

I'm with the girls. If you're not ready to stop BFing, just keep offering. If he's getting teeth or something like that, it can completely wreck his nursing schedule. If he truly is done, but you keep offering, at least you could say you tried.

We always cut our boys' hair ourselves, and we've had various turnouts (sometimes they'd cry or fidget the whole time, sometimes they'd be perfect angels). Neither one of the boys was fidgety or anything during their first cuts for us. We just did a bang trim and trim around the ears and a little off the length in the back with scissors for their first times. If you think Than won't be able to sit still for his first serious cut, there are places out there that specialize in cutting kids' hair and know all the tricks to keep them calm. A lot of times, I hear kids are a whole lot more well-behaved for strangers than they are for their parents. Best of luck with his first cut, however you decide to do it.

Your charts look nice. It looks like you probably ovulated around the 18th last month (there's always a good dip in temperature around O time and then a big rise, signalling production of progesterone, I believe). You'll probably O around Friday this time around if your cycle is the same this month. I hope that helps, and best of luck on your TTC journey!

smilesbaby1007's picture
Joined: 03/30/07
Posts: 255

Good luck with TTC! As for haircuts, I cut Wesley's until Gloria was born. He was 2 1/2 yrs at the time. Most times I would sit him on the toilet after his bath and trim his bangs. I would only do as much as he would let me. If I did not get the sides done I would wait until the next bath. Most often I need to cut the back and trim around the ears and his bangs. I did use some toys that he had not seen to distract him. Good luck!

As for nursing it might be a strike or cutting teeth. I would try to go with the flow and see what his lead is like.

Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 4780

The one piece of advice I have on haircuts is to keep it as simple as possible. We avoid the "kids haircut!" places as they seem to be overstimulating (to me :)).......our kids first haircuts were at home, as they all had mullets, then directly to a barbershop. For us, it worked well.

As to nursing, just keep at it. If he is done, then WELL DONE! Mama! If he isn't, he will continue to nurse.

As to TTC, best of luck!

Joined: 11/30/08
Posts: 225

Thanks for all of your contributions.

He's been acting this way towards nursing for a few months, which is why I'm finally forcing myself to consider if he's done or not. How long does a strike last? Could it be a few months? I'm still offering though. I think I will keep with offering, even if I only get two minutes in the mornings. Better than nothing, right?
(I guess my concern is that I'm forcing it on him when he is done. Anyone else have thoughts about that?)

We'll probably end up taking him to the kids haircut place to check it out. If we walk in and he's mesmerized, we'll get his hair cut while he's still! If not, we'll work on something else.

Send baby dust my way. The more I think about it, the more I feel this timing is right!

Kayla1981's picture
Joined: 01/04/07
Posts: 1529

I don't think you are wrong to keep offering. You are not forcing him and there is definitely a difference. I think you know as well as I do that it's hard to force these kids to much of anything! If it's only two minutes a day then at least you are getting those two minutes in.