You guys have NO idea how much it means to hear such support.. For so long if you were depressed something was mentally wrong with you and it was hush hush.. I sometimes fail to forget that it's OK to ask for help!! It's normal.. and that I'm NOT alone!
Thank you - EACH of you! - for your words.. they really do mean a LOT!!
I feel so exceptionally blessed that I've met 2 people who are so positive and loving.. I've never had that.. Everything has always been so negative in my life and I've struggled to keep my head above water but DH's parents are such a blessing!! I almost teared up just thinking about them coming in town for TG tomorrow. I love love love having them around.. they are the "cold glass of milk to fresh baked cookies".. they're just such great people! I wish I could say the same for my family.. but they're not like that. And that's ok.. I've learned to live with it.
Adriana, I have spent most of the day thinking how to respond. And after thinking about how I know people react to when I have my depressive or anxiety spells, I know there isn't a best way, other than to let you know that you are a great person (even if you don't feel it) and that we are here to listen to what ever you want (or don't want) to talk about. I've been in the lows you have been feeling this past week, there are few things worse than the prisons of our mind, but it will get better! Even when things go to sh**, sometimes those are when the best times in life comes from.
There is nothing wrong with asking for help. There is nothing wrong with medicines. I hope you can find peace, and if you need me you can always contact me.
Funny thing.. I was discussing things with my mom over dinner on Saturday.. and about needing to get on some meds..
She looks at me and says, "When will you be 12 weeks?? "
I looked at her and said.. "Over 4 weeks ago, mom. "
I hate that you're struggling with this! It's been a looooong battle for me and I'm so thankful you are able to talk about it now. Sometimes I want to hide under a rock!! Ugh! The feelings an be so overwhelming, but it's not a weakness it's a chemical imbalance. As for not being a great mom, I'm certain you sell yourself short!! I think we all have the idea of a perfect mom in our mind and I'm sure we all fall short of that, but I have no doubt you are a great mom!
Are you feeling any better? It can't be easy being pregnant and dealing with depression. Do whatever you need to do to deal with it better and treat yourself to soemthing nice.
I dealt with depression as a child-teenager. It actually ran in my family and some tragic things happened to family members that chose to ignore it. I have to say that depression isn't a life sentence. I have not been on medication in over 8 years and I no longer deal with deep depression. I think everyone has little episodes once in awhile. I think it's about how you deal with it and if you want to live a fullfilling life. It's hard when things are tough, but it's all about how you look at it! I'm not saying some forms of depression isn't a serious thing and some people DO need medication. I hope things get easier for you. You really deserve to be happy and enyoy every moment of life. You have a beautiful family and and a blessing on the way that is going to love you unconditionally.
One day at a time, right?
Every day I do what I can to be the best mom for my kid.. and soon to be kids. I sometimes come to the conclusion that since they aren't taken away from me, beat all to hell, fed, educated, smart and not lacking that I must be doing something right. Not perfect.. but when my 9 y/o says I'm the best mom EVER.. it must be right.. right?