I don't wanna tell my boss...
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Thread: I don't wanna tell my boss...

  1. #1
    Posting Addict marymoonu's Avatar
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    Unhappy I don't wanna tell my boss...

    Ugh... I know it needs to happen soon. I'll hit 12 weeks this weekend. I haven't told a soul IRL yet, outside of DH and the doc's office. DH keeps asking me when we're going to announce it to our families, and I keep saying, "I don't know..." And I realized the problem is that I don't want to tell my boss. I don't want to tell my boss before I tell my own parents, so if I haven't told my parents yet, then I have a good excuse not to tell work. It wouldn't be as big of an issue for me if I hadn't just moved to a new location under a new boss. I *LOVED* my old boss, and all I've heard are horror stories about how horrific this guy is. They all say he'll be nice to you face-to-face, but if he's got something against you, he'll make your life hell in other ways... And me taking a 12-week maternity leave makes a LOT of extra work for him to cover my shifts which are out in the middle of nowhere. I'm scared that after maternity leave, he won't give me my store back (because there IS a girl who wanted my spot, but I got it and she's pretty bitter)... There are no others nearby, so I might have to drive HOURS both ways just for work. Ugh... I dread it so, so, so much.

    Sean Thomas - 6/30/09 @ 7:17pm 8lb 8oz, 19", 40w5d
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  2. #2
    Posting Addict ILoveMyMiniMe's Avatar
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    Sounds like it's one of those things that you don't know how it's going to work out until a move is made.. Has anyone at your new store gone through a similar, FMLA type situation? How did they get treated? Sucky part is how you have to fear being happy and joy this pregnancy because of what some - realistically - stranger feels about your asking for time off. It's supposed to be a wonderful event and you're not able to enjoy it right now..

    Spite in not giving you your old store back is pretty crappy.. do you have anything that says you will get it back? I'd do my best to have all I could get in writing before I mentioned anything.. But don't be afraid! Enjoy this time. Tell your family.. and bask in that 12 week glow, mama!

    The way I'm handling it at my job is "It's not even open for discussion until 24 weeks". Simply because if something happens and I lose the baby before then, there will be no time off. It's bereavement, not maternity leave. The topic is not on the records for discussion!
    Adriana --> <-- DH, Markus
    Liliana Nicole ~ 05.13.03
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  3. #3
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    I totally feel ya. I told my boss immediately because he knew something was up by the way I was acting and he's had to cover my shifts in the past for a miscarriage. He's okay with it - and I was too, until this lady who went out for surgery came in to get her job back - and they moved her like 40 miles away to another store! I'm in a position that there is only ONE of in each store, so if I can't have my position/store back, I'm pretty much screwed because there are no other positions. I've heard as long as you're back within the 12 week time limit, they HAVE to give it back to you. Same store, same position, same pay. After that, as long as you are out on disability, you get the same pay but they may move you. But.. I don't think that lady was gone more than 12 weeks. I'm not sure. Anyway, I said something crappy to my boss like... you gonna do me like that too? He shook his head and said it was out of his hands (about the other lady) so now I'm freaked about having the baby and going back to work.
    Jessica, Tim and Baby Julie

  4. #4
    Posting Addict Heatherbella's Avatar
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    This whole situation sucks. It totally takes away from your joy of having the baby. If I were you I'd look into the laws around this. Like Jessica said, there should be a set time where your job should be protected. In Canada our maternity leave is 12 months and they legally HAVE to keep your job for you. To be honest, I haven't read a whole lot up on it...but wow. 12 weeks isn't long at all. They need to get over it.

    *hugs*. I hope it goes better than you fear.
    Heather, 37

    Kennedy - b. 01.26.10 after 15 cycles of TTC
    Marshall - b. 06.17.13 after 3 cycles of TTC



  5. #5
    Prolific Poster blondiess4u's Avatar
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    If it makes you feel any better I haven't told anyone really either. Telling the new boss would be a hard one. I'd say do it and get it over with. It will be less stress on you, maybe address your concerns abotu when you get back if the news about the pregnancy goes well. I'd hate to see you worry this whole time.
    I'm nervous to tell family since we just had a baby last year. Not that it really matters since we are adults but I just hate rude comments. Plus, not sure how to tell everyone, not sure if facebook is appropriate to spread the news but it would be easier!
    Samantha


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  6. #6
    Posting Addict tink9702's Avatar
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    *lurker from June*

    I'm dreading telling my boss as well but not for the same reason. I am going to tell him that after 10 years I'm quitting next May to be a SAHM. Much easier than your situation but it will still be weird them knowing that so early before I'm leaving IYKWIM!

    Do you qualify for FMLA? Family and Medical Leave

    The federal Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), enacted in 1993, entitles eligible employees to take up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected family or medical leave in any 12 month period. Family leave may be taken for the birth and care of a newborn child; for the adoption or foster care placement of a child; or to care for an immediate family member (spouse, child, or parent) with a serious health condition. Medical leave may be taken when the employee is unable to work because of a serious health condition. Employers are required to continue providing health insurance for employees who received it prior to the leave, and employees are entitled to keep other benefits accrued prior to the leave.

    The law applies to private sector employers and public agencies, including state, local, and federal employers, who employ 50 or more employees in 20 or more weeks in the current or preceding calendar year. To be eligible for FMLA benefits, an employee must (1) work for a covered employer, (2) have worked for the employer for at least 12 months, (3) have worked at least 1,250 hours over the previous 12 months; and (4) work within 75 miles of an area where at least 50 employees are employed by the employer.

    Some states have chosen to extend the federal FMLA protections for working families by extending eligibility to additional workers and/or by extending the length of allowed leave. In addition, while the federal law guarantees only unpaid leave, six states now offer partial wage replacement for medical or family leave, and more than half the states have passed laws allowing employees to use their sick leave to care for sick family members, though in most cases these laws apply only to public sector employers.
    ~~Mel

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  7. #7
    Posting Addict ILoveMyMiniMe's Avatar
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    to Mel's post!

    Yes.. if you have at least 50 people at your location on payroll, you're covered for 12 weeks under FMLA. They do not have to pay you but your job is secure.

    My company does not offer FMLA.. there is never more than 10 full time employees at any location, at any time and they are all at least 250 miles away from one another. Tell me THAT isn't set up like that on purpose.

    I don't get FMLA.. So basically, if I'm gone more than the sick /vacation / personal time I have build up, I'm out. Also, if you don't work minimum 37 hours per week, your benefits and insurance etc. are gone.

    On the flip side!! I'm somewhat lucky.. I think. Because I'm salaried, position of leadership (dare they call it friggin management ) my boss has the option to allow me to bring my laptop home and work from home to stay on the payroll. HR has said so long as I work something, they won't cut my benefits. They said they try to keep as close to FMLA guidelines as they can but were quick to remind me I'm not covered under FMLA.

    Also, any time I have a dr appt for the baby, I have to deduct that from my "12 weeks per year" of leave available. So I'm making my dr appts on my lunch By my calculations, I should only use up 10-12 hours worth of leave time.

    Had that whole wonderful convo yesterday.. kinda scared me. UGH!

    I did sign up for AFLAC insurance to get paid while I'm off - which I should come out ahead on thank God! But that's pay.. not job position.

    I'll have to talk to DH but it sounds like I'm going to take about 10 weeks off and only work through some of the latter 5 weeks I'm off.

    Wow.. didn't mean to go off on a tangent there..
    Adriana --> <-- DH, Markus
    Liliana Nicole ~ 05.13.03
    Sam ~ 10.31.09
    Bram Alexander ~ 04.10.13

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  8. #8
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    Adriana - not to scare you even more, but.. I was told that I couldn't sign up for Aflac right now because it had to be in effect for ten months BEFORE I had the baby...?
    Jessica, Tim and Baby Julie

  9. #9
    Posting Addict Heatherbella's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ILoveMyMiniMe View Post
    Also, any time I have a dr appt for the baby, I have to deduct that from my "12 weeks per year" of leave available.
    WHAT????? Are you serious? That is utterly insane! I'm so glad you can do your appts on your lunch. I used to do them at the end of my work day, but midwives seem to be more flexible with hours.
    Heather, 37

    Kennedy - b. 01.26.10 after 15 cycles of TTC
    Marshall - b. 06.17.13 after 3 cycles of TTC



  10. #10
    Posting Addict ILoveMyMiniMe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by babywings1 View Post
    Adriana - not to scare you even more, but.. I was told that I couldn't sign up for Aflac right now because it had to be in effect for ten months BEFORE I had the baby...?
    Yes.. you have to be on the Alflac plan for 10 months before they will pay out. For me, I had to sign up for Aflac during my company's open enrollment.. which for me was April.. So my wait time is May through February. I'm free to have a baby anytime starting March 1. BUT! I have to be 37 weeks pregnant to be considered term.. or else they have to prove having the baby sooner was putting my or baby's life at risk. If I'm not term, they don't pay..

    Basically, what it all boils down to is that I have from April 12th through April 30th to have this baby and not have to go through another year of Aflac payments. I'm due May 3rd.. Fingers crossed this will happen!


    ETA - When you crunch the numbers, there's only a 7.39% chance that the plan will work in your favor so that you get paid more than you pay in. Right now, it's looking pretty good for us.
    Last edited by ILoveMyMiniMe; 10-23-2012 at 09:11 PM.
    Adriana --> <-- DH, Markus
    Liliana Nicole ~ 05.13.03
    Sam ~ 10.31.09
    Bram Alexander ~ 04.10.13

     Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker




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