The meaning of life.. (MC / Loss Mentioned..)
Results 1 to 8 of 8
Like Tree5Likes
  • 4 Post By ILoveMyMiniMe
  • 1 Post By Heatherbella

Thread: The meaning of life.. (MC / Loss Mentioned..)

  1. #1
    Posting Addict ILoveMyMiniMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    44,759

    Default The meaning of life.. (MC / Loss Mentioned..)

    Ok so I'm in a daze today.. so flipping tired from a late night.. and I'm hormonal.

    Was just looking at my ticker as it officially flipped to double digits!! I'm 1/4 of the way done, you guys.. Just stinking crazy...

    The picture caught my attention - I live for the new pics, ya know.. lol.. - and I just couldn't help but feel a high level of sadness today for the bean that never was.

    DD was an unplanned pregnancy but a ridiculiously loved one.. and to this day, is spoiled rotton. Well, back in 2007, another little bean was initially supposed to be part of our lives but unfortunately, did not thrive. I made it to about 7-8 weeks before my US scan showed there was a fluid sac but no baby. The nurse told me what I would be looking for if/when it passed. I watched for it anytime I went to the ladies room and finally one day, there it was. I'll spare the details of the next couple hours but I talked to the little "bean" and let it know how much it was loved and missed.

    It's hard for me to bring this up because for the past 5+ years, I have brought it up one time due to the drama it creates in my family. (When my SIL m/c twins, it was a tragedy with tears and sorrow.. when I m/c'ed, it was "for the best cuz I was a single mom and already had one I needed to worry about")

    So today, I'm going through my file cabinet and come across the U/S of this bean that never was and a flood of emotions came rushing over me.. Sometimes I can't help but as, 'Why?? What did I that was SOO bad to deserve this?"

    It makes sense now why I can't help but hold my tummy throughout the day and talk to this bean in my heart.. and let it know how much it's 10 year old sister is waiting to meet him/her, healthy and strong.. and it's heavenly sibling want to see this bean again but not for a VERY, VERY long time.. and it's daddy is getty more antsy by the day with the anticipation of arrival.

    To my 10 year old.. I love you so much, princess, and enjoy every second of our lives that we share!

    To my heavenly bean.. I love you SOO much and wish you peace as you sit with my heavenly Father.. watch over us with the rest of our departed loved ones!

    To my bean who is thriving at 10 weeks.. Grow, baby, grow.. Your daddy and I and your big sister can not wait to hold you.. and love you.. and teach you all about the joys of not only having a life but how to live! We know the amount of joy and happiness you will bring to us is immeasurable and crave learning so much about you every day!!
    MissyJ, Clarkton, nidia and 1 others like this.
    Adriana --> <-- DH, Markus
    Liliana Nicole ~ 05.13.03
    Sam ~ 10.31.09
    Bram Alexander ~ 04.10.13

     Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker




  2. #2
    Mega Poster nidia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    South, GA
    Posts
    4,848

    Default

    Aww, beautiful.. thank you so much for sharing this moment with us!


    ♥ C, N & L!


    Photobucket

    Noah 7/9/08
    8/8/12
    Lucas 5/8/13



  3. #3
    Posting Addict Heatherbella's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Western Canada
    Posts
    14,373

    Default

    I agree. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I think that talking about these things is really helpful towards healing. I'm glad you feel open enough to share and SHAME on your family for not allowing you to grieve. A loss is a loss, no matter what you current life 'set up' is. *hugs*
    ILoveMyMiniMe likes this.
    Heather, 37

    Kennedy - b. 01.26.10 after 15 cycles of TTC
    Marshall - b. 06.17.13 after 3 cycles of TTC



  4. #4
    Prolific Poster Mom2D's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    ontario, canada
    Posts
    1,371

    Default

    That's a very touching story, thank you for sharing. I'm very sorry for your loss. I had to go and get a box of kleenex just to finish reading.
    Lara~ DS Deondre 14/03/2007


  5. #5
    Posting Addict sox79's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    9,002

    Default

    Bring on the waterworks... thanks for sharing with us. What a hard thing to go through, and what a blessing it is to have a healthy pregnancy and children - let's keep reminding ourselves of that as we ...
    (((HUGS)))
    ~~ Yaeli ~~

    DH since 6/24/04
    DS1 - 4/9/06
    DS2 - 8/22/08
    DD
    - 5/6/13

  6. #6
    Prolific Poster blondiess4u's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    IN
    Posts
    1,890

    Default

    awww. sorry to hear about your previous loss. Thank you for sharing your story. Many of us can relate. It is something you can never imagine until you go through it. hugs!
    Samantha


    DS1-5/17/08 6lbs 6oz
    DS2-9/16/11 6lbs 9oz
    DD-5/24/13 7lbs 15oz

    CafeMom Tickers

  7. #7
    Posting Addict marymoonu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    OH-IO
    Posts
    13,652

    Default

    *Tears* That's so sad... It's sad that your family could not share in your grief, but know that we do. Your m/c experience sounds pretty similar to mine. I was also between 7-8 weeks and my last u/s showed an empty sac. I don't have a picture to keep of mine... Just several positive pee sticks that I've kept around as a reminder that I WAS pregnant. I couldn't face mine when the m/c happened, though.. It was dark throughout the bulk of mine, I kept the lights off as DH cleaned everything up for me because I didn't want to see. I feel your pain every year at the date of m/c and the bean's EDD.

    Sean Thomas - 6/30/09 @ 7:17pm 8lb 8oz, 19", 40w5d
    Calvin Michael - 2/28/11 @ 7:39pm 6lb 8oz, 18", 37w5d
    Nolan Matthew - 5/1/13 @ 11:54pm 6lb 4oz, 19", 38w4d

    May 26, 2010 - 7w1d

  8. #8
    Posting Addict ILoveMyMiniMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    44,759

    Default

    It's so nice to know I'm not alone, ladies.. thanks for all the support and words of encouragement!! It's with "friends" like you all that makes talking about it, easier..

    Adriana --> <-- DH, Markus
    Liliana Nicole ~ 05.13.03
    Sam ~ 10.31.09
    Bram Alexander ~ 04.10.13

     Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker




Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
v -->

About Us | Contact Us | Privacy Policy | Sitemap | Terms & Conditions