Yeah, they were really careful with stretching my perineum and everything but I still had an almost 2nd degree tear. This time I'm trying to stretch my perineum ahead of time. I also have varicose veins of the vulva (yeah, just as great as it sounds) which I think makes me more susceptible to tearing.
Ouch, ouch, ouch!! That all sounds very painful and uncomfortable.
Question, how do you try to stretch it out ahead of time?
That moment when they come out and they're not crying yet. It's just a second, but it FEELS like eternity!! That is the part that freaks me out the most.
As for the tearing... I had 2nd degree tears with my first, then was lucky not to tear at all with my second.. The difference in recovery was AMAZING. I had virtually no pain after giving birth, aside from those crampy after-pains when nursing. I really hope I can avoid tearing again.
Oh, and as for pooping. Yep... I did that with my first too. I had an epidural and couldn't even feel it, ugh. I wouldn't have even noticed if I wasn't watching in the mirror. I could see my doctor just wipe it away and go about his business like it wasn't a big deal, so that made me feel better. With my second, I was "lucky" enough to be up with nausea and diarrhea all night the night before he was born, so I was emptied out, haha.
ETA - I thought of one more thing that freaks me out a lot. With DS2, my blood pressure dropped quite a bit after I got the epidural. It went down to 70/40 and I was getting scared, not knowing when it would level off and stop dropping. It made me really nervous and this time, I'm on blood pressure medicine on top of that. I would like to just go without the epidural to avoid that, but I'm afraid I'll chicken out.
I was totally thinking of doing the perineal massage but my midwife, doula and birth classes are all anti perineal massage. They all have told me that its actually more likely to cause tearing. So weird that the opinions differ on that. I guess it depends where you are.