How do you do it

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usmcwife09's picture
Joined: 04/22/10
Posts: 34
How do you do it

:confused:
I think pretty much everyone on this board is AD. I'm a bit out of the loop as I'm a reservist wife. My DH leaves in a matter of weeks for our first deployment (well, 4 months training, then over seas). Do any of you ladies work full time? What do you do with your kiddos if you are a full time working momma? I work seasonally, about 50 hours a week from late August to November and I'm so worried about what I'm going to do with our 6 month old son. I guess you're probably reading this thinking *duh, daycare*. How do you get yourself comfortable with taking them to strangers? How do you know who the right childcare provider is Sad I absolutely hate the idea but I don't see many other options.

EmilyC3's picture
Joined: 10/27/07
Posts: 1170

:bigarmhug: deployments suck Sad I have always stayed at home with my kids so I am no help on the daycare situation. Just wanted to offer :bigarmhug:

usmcwife09's picture
Joined: 04/22/10
Posts: 34

Thanks, Emily : ) I appreciate it, it's more than I've gotten anywhere else LoL. I hope you don't have too much longer left of your DHs!

Sandradee84's picture
Joined: 08/02/08
Posts: 229

"usmcwife09" wrote:

:confused:
I think pretty much everyone on this board is AD. I'm a bit out of the loop as I'm a reservist wife. My DH leaves in a matter of weeks for our first deployment (well, 4 months training, then over seas). Do any of you ladies work full time? What do you do with your kiddos if you are a full time working momma? I work seasonally, about 50 hours a week from late August to November and I'm so worried about what I'm going to do with our 6 month old son. I guess you're probably reading this thinking *duh, daycare*. How do you get yourself comfortable with taking them to strangers? How do you know who the right childcare provider is Sad I absolutely hate the idea but I don't see many other options.

I'm a SAHM too, so i dont really have any help with that. Do you live near a base? Maybe you can find someone there that can watch your kiddo? If not, maybe you can start touring daycare facilities and see which one fits best with your family? I'm really no help, so grasping for straws here.

MrsHooah2U's picture
Joined: 01/07/08
Posts: 946

First off, :bigarmhug:, deployments suck but once you get over that first hump, it usually gets easier, at least IMO.

As far as working: I actually do in-home daycare. So here is my .02$ from the other side of the coin:

There are "options" for daycare:
-in YOUR home
-in someone else's home (licensed or not)
-in a center

Typically your center and licensed home day care are going to be your more expensive choices, with in someone's home, not licensed, being probably the cheapest option. Daycare in your home, aka a nanny, can just vary on area and what you expect the person to do (ie laundry and dishes during nap times or JUST childcare). In the past I did go to peoples homes and do daycare, but once I had my own kids I decided to switch to in my home care.

My suggestions when figuring out daycare, figure out a budget. Just b/c someone charges more than someone else DOES NOT MEAN they offer better care! Decide where you want your kiddos-- centers are going to have the largest child to care provider ratio and also the most structure/rules & regs. A licensed in home provider is also going to have state rules to follow which "allows" them to charge more. They will also be more likely to have set hours and vacations and things like that, along with a center. So keep that in mind, if your job doesn't offer those type of luxuries. Obviously an unlicensed provider (which is what I am) and a nanny are more likely to work with 'odd' schedules. Once you decide what situation is going to work best for you, start making your questions.

Set up interviews with SEVERAL places, well before you actually need care so you can do trial runs. Check policies on things like nap times, bottles, diaper changes. Most centers will have rules on these: diaper changes every 2 hours regardless of dirty or not-- which sounds great in theory, but that's A LOT of diapers in one day! Some daycare centers will NOT mix bottles. So you have to make sure LO has enough bottles prepared (BF or Formula) for the whole day and if baby DOES NOT then you might be responsible for coming in to the center and mixing more. Interviews are obviously the most important thing when choosing daycare. If you go more private care, make sure you get references and CHECK THEM! Trust your gut, this is one scenario where "mom's intuition" is absolutely something to trust!

I don't think it ever gets "easy" to leave your kiddos, but you have to remember that there are PLENTY of good people who want nothing but what's best for your children. Just make sure you do your mom homework. Smile

If you have questions, feel free to PM me and I can try to help answer any other questions. I didn't want to get too chatty..

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I personally always felt more comfortable leaving my child in a large center..
That said I'm not much help because it was hard when I only had ONE kid but being home alone with 4 right now I'd be willing to leave them with a homeless guy so I can shower

AlisaK's picture
Joined: 07/15/06
Posts: 51

I work seasonally (tax season), but I only get to work the years that my DH is home. One of my kids has severe separation anxiety the first half of deployments and I can't leave her at all.

Deployments are hard, but you'll figure out what works for your family. Smile

Hugs.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Kaiya is the same way, it seems. She's impossible while he's gone. Sigh.

Joined: 06/18/11
Posts: 1425

"usmcwife09" wrote:

:confused:
I think pretty much everyone on this board is AD. I'm a bit out of the loop as I'm a reservist wife. My DH leaves in a matter of weeks for our first deployment (well, 4 months training, then over seas). Do any of you ladies work full time? What do you do with your kiddos if you are a full time working momma? I work seasonally, about 50 hours a week from late August to November and I'm so worried about what I'm going to do with our 6 month old son. I guess you're probably reading this thinking *duh, daycare*. How do you get yourself comfortable with taking them to strangers? How do you know who the right childcare provider is Sad I absolutely hate the idea but I don't see many other options.

Hi there.

I am with you. My DH is a reservist who is finishing off a four month training now and then comes home for just a few months before heading overseas for 6-8 months.

We have 3 boys, who are 5, 7, and 9. I work full-time. I will be honest with you... sometimes it is hard. When DH is gone, I get called for every sick call, every boo boo, everything. I am constantly leaving work to pick up a sick kid. I am really blessed that my job tries really hard to be flexible because they understand that when DH is gone, I am, for lack of better word, a single parent. I don't have family close by so it really is just me.

I have always had the kids in daycare but I remember it was hard to leave my first one. I searched over 20 different providers, centers, etc before I finally picked a center. I felt like I was more comfortable with a center because there was more than one adult there and hopefully he was getting a variety of care. I also liked that I heard about his day from different perspectives.

How are you feeling about everything?

les27's picture
Joined: 05/21/08
Posts: 840

My dh is in the National Guard (glad to know I'm not the only one on here not AD) and while my dh hasn't been deployed in over 4 years, he is gone A LOT in the summer for his job (wildland firefighter) and I work full time. However, I worked full time my whole pg and most of my dd life, so now I am used to leaving her at the baybsitters, but I do remember the first day I had to leave her in someone else's care.....it was NOT a good day. Just remember it will be harder on you than your child. I have found I like in-home daycare best (at someone's house) and I've been really lucky in that my dd LOVES her babysitter, and I've become really close friends with the 2 I have had so far. Good luck with everything!

mujul79's picture
Joined: 01/22/05
Posts: 1843

I'm a reservist girlfriend, but becasue he is a recruiter he works FT. He is in VT and I am in NY. We see eachother every other weekend (he works M-F) if we can sometimes we works weekends too, when they have new soldier training or if he has to drive a new guy to MEPS for Monday.

We met because MEPS is about 20 min from my house and he stays in town 1 night when he brings a guy down.

But yea I am a "single mom" when it comes to the kids, and I can't work even if I wanted to because of Heath's special needs. I should be getting chilidsupport from my x but he is not good about paying it on time so I live with my Dad. All honestly it SUCKS, dad is not happy to have the kids stuff all over, I am not happy not to have our own space and being 3 hours from Bill while prego and about to give birth (Due on the 4th) sucks.

Dad says he loves us and wants to help but then gets upset over toys or the kids touching things that are not his, I get it he lived alone for the last 7 years but still he asked us to come and I don't know how to make it better. Soon Bill and I hope to live together (Hard with Heath's services/Dr's) so Dad can have his place back and Bill and I can be together, and bring our family to the same location, now that the baby will be here (in a few days God willing).

He has a training in Sept for 3 weeks but sometimes we do go 20 days between visits if the weekends don't work out so I am not ever sure I will knotice, but then we will have the newborn so it maybe harder then I expect.

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