how to teach him ?

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keops's picture
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how to teach him ?

I will talk with DH tonight

but

Florian has a little girl in his class who is African American he never EVER be tough about difference in people because for US there is NONE...
I REFUSE HIM TO LOOK AT PEOPLE AND TELL ME WHAT COLOR SKIN THEY ARE

this is just AGAINST all I stand for !!!

he comes back from school and he said "L.. is black"
:eek:

I almost had a heart attack I said NO
she is beautiful and she is just like you....but he said "she is black" Sad so I understand the other kids at school must have said this.... BECAUSE OVER MY DEAD BODY DH OR I WILL SAY SOMETHING LIKE THIS

CAN YOU HELP ME OUT
Practically

HOW WOULD YOU TEACH YOU KID (if you had same view than me) that color of skin should not be (can't be) a FACTOR and I don't want him to refer to a friend or classmate or person by the color of their skin....

sorry if this sound STRANGE to you....

Lavender444's picture
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I think at this age, it is just an observation. I would address it as, "Yes, she is. People come in all shapes, sizes and colors and that's what makes us wonderful. " I don't think he is saying anything hurtful or rude. Just stating what he sees.

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Hmmm, I'm not sure if my answer will help you because I don't think I feel the same way as you do about this topic. I think it's perfectly natural for kids to notice different skin colors. Sophia has two different color parents...of course she is going to notice. She says daddy is brown and mommy is white and she is tan...no one taught her that. She just told me the other day that she wanted to have dark skin like daddy. I don't think there is anything wrong with kids observing these things, and I almost feel like you make it worse by trying to pretend the differences don't exist. The key is that the differences in skin color (or whatever else) don't make that other person any less special than you or me. I think that's what we should be teaching our kids.

And I completely agree with what Amber said as well.

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I agree with Amber and Carrie. It doesn't sound, to me, that he's making any judgement based on the skin color. You can use this as a teaching tool to discuss racial differences, basic human common traits, etc. I actually think it's a great opportunity to begin that dialogue.

keops's picture
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Thanks you are probably right... he is only 3 Wink
He says what he sees RIGHT (got to remember I am big as a Dinosaurs!. at least this is what he told me!)

but I remember living in Paris BIG BIG CITY with lot of people saying comments and how they call "others" people and the racism that goes on skin color or religious belief....
when we were in France over a year ago in Paris I heard little kids calling "black" kids by "names" in the bad way due to their skin color and I PROMISE MYSELF TO DO ALL I CAN TO AVOID THIS ....

so I'll take your advices and next time he tells me "L.. is black" I will remember your advices... Wink

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I totally understand you not wanting Florian to grow up having any judgements against other races, religions, etc, and I think that is learned/modeled by the parents so I have no doubt that he will grow up with that viewpoint simply because you believe in it so strongly. I was talking to DH about this later last night and we were saying that describing someone's skin color (black, brown, white) is not the same as calling someone fat, ugly, etc, and if you teach kids that they can't point out someone's skin color, it's like you are teaching them that someone's skin color is a bad word...a mean way to describe them, and I don't think that's what we should be trying to get across.

I do know that there is a wave of "political correctness" that pushes us toward not seeing color, but I just think that idea is silly. It's like not recognizing that there are boys and girls. Of course there are different colors, different races, different cultures, different religions, etc. What is important is just to teach that one is not less than the other and everyone deserves to be treated with respect.

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ITA with everything Carrie says. I've cringed before when deacon says "you know, that black guy on tv?" or "that black kid". I was worried that he was only seeing skin color but came to realize the kid or guy on tv was wearing a black shirt, lol. So honestly I'm still glad he doesn't notice skin color or maybe he does but he doesn't think anything of it. He is only one of two white kids at his current daycare and at the church daycare he has lots of races among his friends and has never mentioned it.

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"SID081108" wrote:

I totally understand you not wanting Florian to grow up having any judgements against other races, religions, etc, and I think that is learned/modeled by the parents so I have no doubt that he will grow up with that viewpoint simply because you believe in it so strongly.

.... if you teach kids that they can't point out someone's skin color, it's like you are teaching them that someone's skin color is a bad word
...a mean way to describe them, and I don't think that's what we should be trying to get across.

I do know that there is a wave of "political correctness" that pushes us toward not seeing color, but I just think that idea is silly. It's like not recognizing that there are boys and girls. Of course there are different colors, different races, different cultures, different religions, etc. What is important is just to teach that one is not less than the other and everyone deserves to be treated with respect.

ITA with everything Carrie said, esp the bolded. Perfect.

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Seriously?

ROFL

Sorry, Magali, I mean no disrespect -- I SWEAR Florian and Zayden are psychic twins! LOL Just YESTERDAY (same day), I was dropping Zayden off at school and he looks over at the maintenance guy working and says mommy, whats that black guy doing! YIKES! (right in earshot of the morning daycare lady). I had the knee jerk reaction exactly like you like what is my kid saying? Covered it up with too loudly saying oh you mean the guy in the black jacket (which he was wearing?) oh he is raking or whatever he was doing. (technically he is a very dark skinned Hispanic.)

But seriously, I am right there with you -- I know the racial and religious issues that are prevalent in France, and growing up in the deep south have seen racism far more often then I can stomach and is one reason I live all the way across the country from where I grew up. I would love to say my son will be raised color blind.

That said I totally agree with the others -- we need to teach our kids that there are differences for which we need to embrace.

keops's picture
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Thanks my friends

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"SID081108" wrote:

Hmmm, I'm not sure if my answer will help you because I don't think I feel the same way as you do about this topic. I think it's perfectly natural for kids to notice different skin colors. Sophia has two different color parents...of course she is going to notice. She says daddy is brown and mommy is white and she is tan...no one taught her that. She just told me the other day that she wanted to have dark skin like daddy. I don't think there is anything wrong with kids observing these things, and I almost feel like you make it worse by trying to pretend the differences don't exist. The key is that the differences in skin color (or whatever else) don't make that other person any less special than you or me. I think that's what we should be teaching our kids. .

I agree with Carrie (and the rest of the ladies) there is nothing wrong with saying shes black, she is black. If he was using it in an unfaltering way, in anyway suggesting that she was less of a person because of it then I would address the issue, but I agree hes being observant. Pretending people are not different does not teach tolerance in my opinion, I think you need to teach your kids that people come in all shapes and colours, it what makes us unique and who we are, but its whats inside that counts. (lol I sound like an after school special)