I Need Advice *kinda long*

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jlildrip's picture
Joined: 01/24/08
Posts: 269
I Need Advice *kinda long*

OK, I am so, SO embarrased to even post this, but I need help.

Background: Noah has NEVER once, not one.single.time taken off his diaper, not ever. He has never made any attempts to take off his pants, his jammies, nothing of the sort, other than normal times, like to change clothes, take baths, etc.

BUT, I have noticed the last couple of weeks that he's been much more into his "junk" (yes, that's what we call it in my family, lol) and trying to make friends with it. The last 2 days he has been particularly "friendly" with it, but only at the sitter's. Today, the sitter took off his clothes and put a sleeper on backwards, he was being so insistent on it. Even then, he still managed to get to it, so she put his shorts on top of his diaper, then the sleeper on, and that was by 8am this morning! I am MORTIFIED. Is it just normal "checking out my body and hey, this is fun" kinda thing and he's maybe he's bored and not occupied enough at the sitter's, or should I be more concerned? The sitter says it's totally normal to be checking things out and maybe I'm just hyper-sensitive to it because I've lived through what happens when this goes to the extreme? I haven't seen much evidence of anything at home, other than pulling on it when we're changing his diaper (yes, he's still wearing diapers, but we're in the process of potty training--which has completely gone to nothing the last couple of days as well) and in the tub, which I expect because it's right there.

Is Noah just bored? Is he getting this from someone else? The timing is so...odd. We were going to start him in preschool/daycare this past Monday because he's definitely at a point where he needs more stimulation and challenges, but because of the financial strain it would put on us, we're holding off until after the first of the year so we know that we can afford to get through his birthday and Christmas, along with the traveling for the holidays. I wonder if we shouldn't re-think our decision about this and presents/traveling be darned.

Ugh, I just don't know what to do about it and have been crying and so upset about it all day. Thanks for listening.

SoCaliLover's picture
Joined: 12/07/06
Posts: 1591

Jess (((Hugs)) we do not have to deal with that specifically, Zayden will certainly play with himself if naked but leaves it alone if clothed. BUT, I know it is not uncommon. A friend of mine has a almost 6 year old who constantly has his hands in his pants playing with himself. I know she has said she is so embarrassed to because he is at a private Christian school. Last year, she said that the teacher was nonchalant about it and every time he was caught with his hands down his pants, would remind him that is not appropriate in public and take him to wash his hands. Last I heard, my friend was trying to work with him about if you want to go to kindergarten, big boys don't do that. I haven't asked her about it since then.

I think its pretty normal though (hey I see teenagers who always seem to need to touch themselves :ROFL:) Maybe talk with his doctor to see what suggestions he/she may have?

Lavender444's picture
Joined: 03/27/03
Posts: 1944

Ava does this All.the.time! it drives me bonkers! I thought I would not have to deal with this, with a little girl. I do the tell her she cannot do that in public and wash her hands bit too. Now she says, "mom!! I itch my butt? Mom? I itch? MOOOM! I itch than wash my hands? Mom!?" ugh!

My BIL caught her doing it the other day and called her on it. I was hoping another adult might be able to get her to stop, but no dice.

kris10gal's picture
Joined: 11/02/07
Posts: 1306

:bighug: I think it's totally normal. I don't think he's necessarily getting it from somewhere else, I think it's just completely natural curiosity. I think the best thing would not be to make it completely stop, but to definitely emphasize teaching him when is okay. Try not to make a big deal about it because these toddlers seem to feed off that! (I know sometimes Jackson is just looking to see what gets the biggest reaction.) But, we talk about his 'stuff' all the time, and I think that talking about it, makes it less of a mystery, kwim? It takes the, I gotta figure out what this thing is, out of looking at his stuff.

Try not to let it get to you and it's definitely nothing to cry about! You can handle this Jess, you're awesome!

AshnBill's picture
Joined: 11/06/06
Posts: 5333

I think that's normal. I would try not to make too big of a deal out of it and hope that this phase passes soon. I know when I tell Miles to not do something, he keeps doing it way worse than he was just for my reaction I might give him. It sounds like maybe he might be trying to pass time, so keeping him busy might help get past this phase?!

jlildrip's picture
Joined: 01/24/08
Posts: 269

Thanks girls! I feel much better about it today. DH said I was completely over-reacting and laughed it off. I'm totally fine with this happening in...oh, 11 years or so, lol. It's just his intensity about it now that is freaking me out. So I told him this morning when I dropped him off at daycare that if he left his junk alone, we could go get a prize. I'm also going to see if making him wash his hands when he sticks them in his pants will help deter him a bit, without making a big deal out of it. What he doesn't know is that I already planned to go get a redbox movie for tonight after I picked him up. Smile

Jenn0113's picture
Joined: 03/09/07
Posts: 5335

Totally, totally normal. We are dealing with this too in a way. Deacon likes to ask me and Jus "wanna see my pee pee?" and then tries to flash us. He thinks its hilarious. We have started to tell him that its not nice to do that and no one should see his pee pee. He touches it ALL THE TIME and especially when naked - that poor thing is always red.

The other day in the tub he was on his belly and "swimming" and when he sat up it was standing at attention :eek: I had to call my mom to ask her if it was normal and she said yes and "its only the beginning".

My niece was obsessed with her privates to the point where she was touching them 24/7. They are just at a very interesting age/stage where its a new thing to do and it feels "weird".

I agree with Kristen, I wouldn't tell him to leave it alone all the time but I would tell him that its not nice in public or around people.

Tanylisa's picture
Joined: 08/30/07
Posts: 770

Yep it's totally normal, Jack went through a phase where he was always digging around in his diaper for it, DH thought it was hilarious and said he'll ever outgrow it lol. But I had to tell him that he had to do that kind of thing only in private and not when we were out, he does still fiddle wirh it a lot but mostly when it's tub or diaper changing time.

keops's picture
Joined: 04/01/08
Posts: 813


Florian plays with ti ALL THE TIME WHEN NAKED... but he leave it alone when he ahs clothes on (95% of the time)