Sorry it’s SO loooong
Okay so here goes my sob story, kinda. Not looking for sympathy just…I don’t know. Maybe one of you feels the same way?
So about 4 months ago, we had some good friends over and the inevitable question was asked. “So, are you guys done?” (having kids) To which my husband bellowed “Abso-f**king- lutely!” Ugh. SO tactful, my charming prince. Anyway, I looked in his direction hoping to see an “I’m kinda kidding” look. He was dead serious. I brought the subject up again that night as we were climbing into bed. He WAS NOT kidding. He went on to say that he thinks that being pregnant, going through the infancy months and him being the only money maker in our house was all REALLY stressful for him. He said that as much as he loves being a daddy, he has no interest in doing this again. He reminded me that we have a boy and a girl, and they are both perfectly healthy, and that we should just count our blessings. He also said that he had made some calls about a new scalpel-free vasectomy procedure.
I was CRUSHED. While I was, and am, in no way ready to have another baby, being told so emphatically that we were DONE. Oh, it killed me.
The next night he was kissing up, and was telling me how awesome I looked now that I’m back to pre-baby weight. He said “you know… you’re down to your goal weight- we’re done having kids… you can get those boobs you always wanted…” We always joked about it, because pre-baby, mine were stellar- or at least I thought so. Post 2 babies, mine were droooopy flapjacks that I had to cram in a push up bra to look remotely normal. This kind of excited me. The fact that HE was bringing it up made me happy, as I always thought that he considered boob jobs silly.
Long story short--- I’m post op my June 6th surgery now. I got implants and a lift.
They look great. I have the perky boobs of a 20 year old.
So, why this morning did I look at them and get sad? I feel like they’re my consolation prize for his decision. Ugh. Is anyone else in this same boat? You feel like you’re not ready to hear that your done, but DH is—I totally understand and respect his opinion on this. I think I just need to make peace with it. Easier said than done.