Potty Humor --and other funny things kids say

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SoCaliLover's picture
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Potty Humor --and other funny things kids say

Zayden cracks me up sometimes -- or at least he does inside even though I am dying of embarrassment on the outside.

Conversations at church yesterday -- yes at church of all places. I am taking him potty before dropping him off at Sunday School -- he gets upset because we go into the girls bathroom --otherwise known as the Circle bathroom because ladies room have circle signs and men's rooms have triangle.

"I don't want to go into the circle room --its for girls --I am a BOY" (he says as he is trying to drag me into the mens room.) No Zayden, we have to go into the girls room cause mommy is here and mommy cannot go in the boys bathroom. But I am a BOY. Well little boys can go into the ladies room -Im not a little boy, I am a big boy! Im not a girl mommy, I have a wee wee. (stated very loudly as we are trying to find a stall in a very quiet women's room where I realize there are at least two other women in stalls. Sigh)

Find an empty stall, pull down his pants, pop him on the potty. He now has this thing where he pulls his wee out first cause it gets "folded". Loudly (still) he announces "mommy sometimes my wee gets stuck to my butt" I totally hear the lady next to me trying hard not to laugh. That's fine Zayden just go potty.

He hops off and goes to try and flush, Zayden pull up your pants I say. No Mommy, I already told you, underwear first then pants. (I forgot -- he has told me that now several times --apparently there is an order to this SIGH) Other person laughs out loud.

Zayden did not want to stay in Sunday School cause apparently he thought I was going some where much more fun and they were not showing a movie. So I had to take him to church with me -- we were saying prayers and he got all excited cause he heard the word "God" as he is sorta fascinated with that topic now. So we are saying prayers and he says (thankfully mostly in a whisper) mommy, they said God. Yes honey, we come to church to learn about God. And Jesus? Yes we come to learn about Jesus. And we come to church to learn about heaven? Yes, Zayden, we learn about Heaven too. And we come to church to learn about Sharks? (at that point I got a weird look from the guy sitting next to me) No Zayden we do not learn about Sharks at church. Sigh.

Thankfully, Zayden lasted about another 3 minutes and agreed that Sunday school was definitely more fun then church.

SID081108's picture
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Amy that is seriously hilarious!! I was CRACKING UP when he said "mommy sometimes my wee gets stuck to my butt" oh my gosh if I would have been in that bathroom with you I would have been busting up!

So on Friday I went to pick up the girls at day care. As we were walking out, a very busty teacher in a tight shirt walked by and slowed down to say hi to Sophia. Sophia pointed straight at her chest and yelled "YOUR BOOBIES!!" and started laughing. Oh my gosh, talk about wanting to crawl in a hole. And I know a lot of the teachers there but this is one I really don't know. She just looked at me like she didn't know what to say and I said "Sophia! We don't say that!" and apologized profusely and rushed myself right out of there. I am still dying thinking about it.

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Oh my gosh, you guys - those are hilarious! I can't think of any at the moment, but I do know I've heard several snickers from other bathroom users when I'm with Jude in the potty. Amy, I know it feels mortifying in the moment but I'm certain the other women in the bathroom just thought he was the cutest thing. If I'd overheard some of the things Z was saying, I probably would've been giggling about it all day! So you guys probably made those ladies' days! (:

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I love hearing what they're saying!!

Sophia sounds hilarious.

Miles hasn't said anything embarassing IRL lately (we don't get out much, lol) but lately he has been talking a lot about how Vivian drinks milk from my boobs. The other day he told me that sometimes he feeds Vivi so I asked him what he feeds her. He promptly lifted up his shirt and looked around for his nipple. Then he pointed to my boob and said "Whoa momma. You have a really big one of that" Lol

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OMG girls I'm dying.

I seriously can't think of a thing 1/2 as funny as these.

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How did I miss this thread until now?!?!?!?

These are too funny. Amy - I.would.have.died! Josh is obsessed with wanting to go into the mens room as well. Ashley - Josh say Greg's nipples the other day and said "Daddy, why do you have belly buttons up there?"

They notice everything and have lots of questions. Love!

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I can't think of anything at the moment either, but it seems like Lyla always has us laughing too. She also REFUSES to use a men's bathroom. We didn't realize how strong she felt about this until dh took her out to lunch with his friends. A waitress overheard Lyla refusing to use the men's room, and she ended up taking Lyla to the bathroom.

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"AshnBill" wrote:

Miles hasn't said anything embarassing IRL lately (we don't get out much, lol) but lately he has been talking a lot about how Vivian drinks milk from my boobs. The other day he told me that sometimes he feeds Vivi so I asked him what he feeds her. He promptly lifted up his shirt and looked around for his nipple. Then he pointed to my boob and said "Whoa momma. You have a really big one of that" Lol

This had me cracking up!!

Sophia has never been in the men's restroom! I have no idea if she would go or not. DH rarely takes her anywhere alone (besides our friend's houses, where she can use the restroom by herself) and the one time he did, he found a random mom to take her to the restroom (at a kids birthday party at a bounce house place).