Isn't that horrible? Today is one of those days. I was screaming and yelling and saying such awful things to the girls and I didn't even feel bad. It was just one of those moments.
Lately I've been having such issues with my own childhood and how much I hated it and yet here I am repeating the same mistakes, it's just too hard some days to try and be better, it's easier to go with what comes natural and I hate that.
Every day is the same, I never get to do anything I want to do for me when I want or alone. It's not their fault they certainly didn't choose me to be their mother and I love them, but sometimes I just wonder why I did it and 3x times no less, was I just plain out of my mind?
I miss having a newborn it was my favorite time, it is just getting harder and harder and instead of them being able to understand and converse and be easier to deal with, it's even harder. They answer back, ask never ending questions, always need or want something.
The hardest part of the newborn days was not sleeping and if you were lucky you could nap when they did, now it's just never ending noise and wants and needs and problems with school or issues with themselves and .....
Okay, sorry just needed to get that off my chest and try to feel better. I hope you all don't think I'm awful I just feel comfortable enough to be honest here without being judged.