Wills, Trusts, and Estate plans

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SoCaliLover's picture
Joined: 12/07/06
Posts: 1591
Wills, Trusts, and Estate plans

who has done one? As an attorney I KNOW I need to, I just haven't. The will/trust part isn't the issue, its the deciding what we want to do with Zayden if something happened to Charley and I. I hope it never ever comes to that but I know I need to do it.

I know it will be one of the girls, I don't know that Charley and I will agree on which one.

Tanylisa's picture
Joined: 08/30/07
Posts: 770

We haven't done one yet either, but have been talking about it some. We really don't have much family on either side that could take care of our little guys, my sister is very unstable and drinks alot, DH's sister is very ill and just got diagnosed with lupus, my parents and other sister are all passed away and DH's mom is 75 years old. The only one we can think of is DH's brother and sister in law so I think we've settled on them to take the LO's, now it's just a matter of actually getting the will made out.

1aBABY's picture
Joined: 12/05/06
Posts: 474

I have been thinking about this for years now, however, I've been putting it off for the same reason. I have no idea who I would appoint to take Josh and Baby Girl. It really scares me.

SoCaliLover's picture
Joined: 12/07/06
Posts: 1591

That is the hard part for me too. After dinner last night and Ash was horsing around with Zayden and made some comment about if anything happens to us, we better leave her Bub (Z's nickname).

So I randomly was thinking about that as I know in the back of my mind we have to make some decisions sometime, or we could just leave it up to the kids. Course things could change as the girls get older and more stable so its probably a constantly changing analysis. I pretty much would be looking at -- right now -- DSDs Age or Ash as DD Tiff is too young, not stable, and it would be too much for her. I think about what life each girl would offer to him, who would raise him most like us but who is also stable in their own life. Ash is also so much closer to Z then the other girls have ever been but she has some issues in her own life that the addition of a hyper 3 year old would complicate.

Hard choices but we need to make them at some point. Hopefully we wont have that as an issue though for a LONG time.

SID081108's picture
Joined: 06/03/09
Posts: 1348

Oh gosh, we need to do one too. We have been thinking about it forever and have talked about it a lot but have never actually done it. DH has no family in the US so it is a pretty easy decision for us. My parents would take the girls unless they got too old or physically unable to take care of them, in which case either one of my brothers would be fine. One of my brothers already has 4 kids and the other one just got divorced and doesn't have a lot of money but we have a decent amount of life insurance so I'm sure either one of them could and would make it work and I would trust either one to love my kids and give them a good life.

Amy, (or anyone), do you think a site like LegalZoom is good enough or do you actually have to get an attorney to draft it? DH thinks LegalZoom is fine, expecially if you don't have anything complicated and it's not like your family members are going to be fighting over your kids if you're gone. But I'm hesitant about paying money for something that wouldn't hold water in court at the end of the day.

SoCaliLover's picture
Joined: 12/07/06
Posts: 1591

Carrie, I am torn on that. It really depends. I have never used LegalZoom but know I have had some issues with their forms in other legal cases, such as LLCs. A quick look shows that could get pricey as it looks like you have to pay for each document. I know Quicken also has WillMaker software that is a bit cheaper and I think drafts all the documents but I have never seen them tested in court...as long as people aren't fighting about much, that is probably not an issue though.

Its not as simple though as just making a will, if you have young kids like we all do you need a trust to manage money for the benefit of the child for as long as you want. Usually estate plans also include living wills, powers of attorney etc etc etc. If legalzoom charges for each one like it looks, that could get expensive.

Like you, I am not really worried about who can best afford Z as I have life insurance...but I worry who can manage the money to make it last. We also have the added issue of inheriting some money from my dad so I have to make a plan to match his so things are fair. We also have Z who of course is young but we have the his and mine issue of the girls though we want everything to be equal. If we died today, funds would not be equally distributed.

I have a clue how we will plan on our trust being held, we just need to do the whole thing and agree on custody.

jlildrip's picture
Joined: 01/24/08
Posts: 269

We talk about it a lot too, but have gone back and forth over who would get Noah. Not that we don't agree with each other, but we can't decide who it would be. We don't want Noah going to my brother or DH's brother (they both have too many kids already), we hate where my parents live (totally ghetto), FIL couldn't handle having a kid in the house...so family is totally out. And friends...none of them would raise him in the church like we would want (I guess we need new friends, huh?). Ugh. Because of this, we haven't done any kind of a living will/trust/etc. but know that it's vitally important. We just don't know what to do.

Thanks for the advice on LegalZoom, Amy. We had been thinking about going that route too. Now we'll look at using my IL's attorney.

asteuck's picture
Joined: 10/30/07
Posts: 355

We haven't done one yet either but we have asked Dh's brother and his wife to take the girls if something happened to us. It was a fairly easy decision for me and Dh was ok with it too. My brother is single so he wouldn't really be up for that kind of responsibility and Dh's sister and her husband have 2 boys already but I'm just not super crazy about BIL's parenting style so it just wasn't really an option for me. And my girls love SIL and BIL!! We just need to get it all down now!