Baby shower question

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Joined: 11/01/07
Posts: 650
Baby shower question

This little boy is our 2nd. DO people normally have showers or register for the 2nd or more baby? We have everything for a little boy, but I thought it would be fun to get everyone together. Does that seem selfish???? I am just looking for fun not gifts but I don;t want it to be taken the wrong way!!

kmm123's picture
Joined: 12/13/08
Posts: 1839

I've had friends who have a "sprinkle" for babies after their first. It seems fairly common. For me personally I won't. I just wouldn't be comfortable but I've gone to them and have fun and don't think there's anything wrong with it if you want to. I was thinking after the baby is born Evan will turn 2 and we'll just have family and close friends over for Evan's bday and to meet the baby

KAYMYA's picture
Joined: 09/18/07
Posts: 230

I dont know what I am having yet...but I was probably having one thrown from family no matter the sex.....especially NOW that we now its twins....it may be a bigger shower than expected.....
I dont think its selfish or anything people most likely going to ask you if your having one anyway and most people are surprised if you dont, at least around here, its more for the FUN games...and since you dont need the big things people arent going to be spending a ton of $ on presents,

sandraleigh's picture
Joined: 11/23/06
Posts: 2672

Some people have "sprinkles" or even just "diaper showers" for 2nd babies. Diapers are always welcome!

TLotus's picture
Joined: 08/28/10
Posts: 535

I actually didn't have my first baby shower until #3 (of 4 boys). I didn't know anyone who would throw one for me back then... that was 11 years ago.

We are expecting #5 and we're having a full shower with this one. We have absolutely NOTHING related to babies or toddlers in the house. LOL! The beautiful thing is, my birthday is Oct 30 (on a Sunday this year) so we will have a combined birthday celebration and baby shower.

lil96's picture
Joined: 03/27/06
Posts: 573

I say do what you want. For me registering is like a checklist of wants, you can tell others or keep it to yourself. That way you know what you still want. Also many places give you a discount on items leftover in your registry. With #1 I changed my EDD on the registry to a few weeks earlier than when baby came, so I could get more before the baby came, kwim?

Nikerz20's picture
Joined: 04/18/09
Posts: 673

I didn't have a shower with ds, so we will probably have something to celebrate. I have a couple of friends who have already volunteered to organise it so I'm not complaining Smile I think it's a nice way to gather with your friends and family.

brady_bunch_plus_one's picture
Joined: 11/27/04
Posts: 399

I say go for it.Diaper showers are a great thing if you want a little get together without a real shower.

Joined: 02/20/11
Posts: 865

My sil is due a few weeks before me and my aunt is throwing us a joint shower. However, it will say on the invite for me (2 semerate invites for the same party) that I am don't want gifts but am collecting books for the local school. It's not that I don't need anything, it's more that I am uncomfortable with the idea of a shower at all- inviting people to give me gifts fort second doesntvsitvwell with me. That said, I love going to other peoples showers and don't mind buying things for them whether it's baby number one or seven!!

lily0624's picture
Joined: 03/21/07
Posts: 591

no, no shower for the second. if the baby is from a second husband or after a long time after the other kids than maybe.

this is boy #2 for us and #1 is only turning 2 in 10 days so i have all the stuff i need. i'm sure people will give us gifts for the new little guy but not at a shower. i wouldn't throw one for myself either. that's not really something people do around here.

JenPelto's picture
Joined: 11/23/08
Posts: 73

Personally, I think more than one baby shower IS tacky, and you may (hopefully, may not!) hear through the grapevine that your deal old Aunt or another friend or relative that was invited finds it tacky, too. If you do have a party, I wouldn't word it as a "shower" (a "shower" is when people "shower you with gifts") but as a celebration or party honoring the upcoming birth of your baby (which is TOTALLY not tacky!!!!). Explicitly say on the invites "no gifts necessary" (some people will bring them anyways -- if so, maybe consider opening them after the party so your non-giftgivers don't feel awkward) and just party down!

lily0624's picture
Joined: 03/21/07
Posts: 591

"JenPelto" wrote:

Personally, I think more than one baby shower IS tacky, and you may (hopefully, may not!) hear through the grapevine that your deal old Aunt or another friend or relative that was invited finds it tacky, too.

totally agree with this. in fact, i know exactly the aunt who would say this too! LOL!!

kmm123's picture
Joined: 12/13/08
Posts: 1839

My family would also find it very tacky - you have one shower in my family's book. But I have gone to other people's and had fun. But I wouldn't be comfortable having any sort of party before the baby is born personally. I would definitely get talked about LOL

Starryblue702's picture
Joined: 04/06/11
Posts: 5454

"sandraleigh" wrote:

Some people have "sprinkles" or even just "diaper showers" for 2nd babies. Diapers are always welcome!

I agree that the best thing for you to do is still have a shower, but have it be a diaper shower, because then no one can get upset at you... YOU NEED LOTS OF DIAPERS!!! And honestly, those that would get upset shouldn't be welcome at your baby shower in the first place! It's your baby, you do whatever makes you happy!

I've been having this same debate with myself. I have two boys... I had a shower with my first but not with my second (for reasons I might explain one day, if I didn't think that it would make everyone hate me!) and then I finally got my little girl, so I had a shower with her because I needed girl stuff! Now I have baby #4 coming (a boy) and am torn on what to do. I have absolutely nothing but a stroller and a high chair, because I have donated to charity or given to friends ALL of my baby stuff, boy and girl. I can't afford to replace everything myself, but I, like you, don't want anyone to think I'm trying to rip them off because I've had 4 babies now...

TLotus's picture
Joined: 08/28/10
Posts: 535

IMHO, I think sometimes people put too much emphasis on protocol and etiquette. A lot of the "rules" for baby showers are .... old and passed down from older generations. I say...if it makes you happy to celebrate your new addition with a shower, then have one! If it's your true friends and family, they will support you. Anyone who wants to criticize has nothing better to do than to be negative.

I know someone who was pregnant and did not have anyone who offered to throw a shower for her (it was her first). So, she threw one for herself! (Oh, I can hear the gasps and the "tsk tsks"). It was beautiful! She was surrounded by people who loved her and shared in her joy. She received wonderful gifts..and NOT ONE person poo pooed her for planning her own shower! Would have been a different story 30 years ago!

It's the 21st century...2011! Sprinkles, showers, diaper shower...doesn't matter. Do what you are comfortable with and what makes you happy!

lily0624's picture
Joined: 03/21/07
Posts: 591

"TLotus" wrote:

IMHO, I think sometimes people put too much emphasis on protocol and etiquette. A lot of the "rules" for baby showers are .... old and passed down from older generations. I say...if it makes you happy to celebrate your new addition with a shower, then have one! If it's your true friends and family, they will support you. Anyone who wants to criticize has nothing better to do than to be negative.

well said.

as with anything in life, do what YOU want, not what you think others want. if you're comfortable having a shower, then do it! if not, then skip it!

kmm123's picture
Joined: 12/13/08
Posts: 1839

Totally agree! Like I said I've been to many and they are super fun! It's always fun to get a bunch of people together and celebrate Smile

Joined: 11/07/06
Posts: 707

*lurker from Oct 2011*
I am preggo with #6 and my mom is throwing me a shower. EVERYONE I know has asked if Im having one. I say do what you want.....I honestly think people worry to much about what others will think. Anyway....all of my other 5 are my ex husband so this baby does have a different "baby daddy". My youngest is 3.5.....I have 4 boys and one girl (she will be 8 when this LO comes) this LO is a girl. But I have absolutely NOTHING baby except what my cousin has gien me as her youngest is 5 months old.....

Summer05's picture
Joined: 09/18/05
Posts: 790

I agree with Tamara, go with whatever feels right to you! I feel strongly that each little life needs a celebration, if other people want to get their panties in a bunch over gifts and archaic etiquette that is their issue.

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