BTDT mommies Things I Wish I'd Known...

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Summer05's picture
Joined: 09/18/05
Posts: 790
BTDT mommies Things I Wish I'd Known...

Been There Done That Mommies please chime in with your after-care tips etc!

Episiotomy / Tearing - use a squirt bottle for cleaning after using the bathroom- take one home from hospital & use it each time. Follow Drs advice for healing (only the gentlest soap, sitz baths, fibre/colace, tucks, pain reliever, abstinence, etc etc).

Nursing - talk to the public nurses, your Drs etc. Use a nipple-balm (boobie chapstick), dampen washcloths or baby diapers and freeze for when your milk comes in, Lancinoh IMHO makes the best leak-shields, having even a hand-pump at the ready is better than nothing.

Newborn diaper/feed charts - they will probably give you one at the hospital, ask for more copies for when you get home. You record babies feedings/times (and/or L or R boob) & wet/dirty diapers.

Joined: 02/20/11
Posts: 865

It's normal for babies Not to have bowel movements for days st a time !

Joined: 02/20/11
Posts: 865

I also had no idea that you kept contracting after the birth. I knew my uterus would have to shrink just not that it would hurt. I also wasn't expecting six weeks of night sweats and chills.

sandraleigh's picture
Joined: 11/23/06
Posts: 2672

"Freesia34" wrote:

I also had no idea that you kept contracting after the birth. I knew my uterus would have to shrink just not that it would hurt. I also wasn't expecting six weeks of night sweats and chills.

Oh yes, the after pains get worse each time too!

I made sure DH gave me time to have an epsom salt bath once a day. Have a nice 30 minute soak.

I also used that squirt bottle they provide at home for at least a few weeks, every time I went pee. It helps with the stinging, especially if you had stitches.

Something great for cracked nipples other than special creams is your own breast milk. Just express a little extra and rub it all over your nipple. Let it air dry. Also, fresh air is great for sore nips too - even if you just lie in bed topless for a half hour each day with a towel under you incase you leak!

Also, hopefully everyone will be able to BF for as long as they want, but if you do end up stopping, I recommend cold cabbage leaves for drying up your milk. Just stuff some cold cabbage leaves out of the fridge in to your bra, replacing every few hours. It helps with the super painful engorgement.

jeepbaby's picture
Joined: 11/08/07
Posts: 492

"sandraleigh" wrote:

Oh yes, the after pains get worse each time too!

I made sure DH gave me time to have an epsom salt bath once a day. Have a nice 30 minute soak.

.

I also heard that they get worse with subsequent pregnancies....:(

As for tips- just the usual, don't worry about the condition of the house, dinner, etc.... It can all be done when you are back on you feet mentally and physically.

Oh- and it's OK to feel the way you do. Those hormones can cause some raging emotions! (Just watch out for PPD and get help asap- it is a normal condition!)

Jenn0113's picture
Joined: 03/09/07
Posts: 5335

LURKING

I wanted to add one for the CSECTION mommas....

After having DS someone told me to get up out of bed and walk as much as I could to speed up the healing process. So as soon as they took out my IV and catheter I was up and walking the halls. It hurt and it burned but I did what I could every day and continued when I got home. My recovery was a breeze and I was off pain meds when I got home from the hospital and at the mall the following week. Obviously taking it easy and not overdoing it, but definitely better off than friends that had csections and didn't/couldn't get out of bed.

lily0624's picture
Joined: 03/21/07
Posts: 591

those drug store blow up donuts are the BEST for sitting on until you heal up down there. it took the pressure off the stitches. really helped me alot. that, at those tucks pads.

i agree about taking the squirt bottle home with you to help you clean up after you go to the bathroom. i used mine for a while! and on that note, take EVERYTHING you can from the hospital! lol! seriously, that's what you're paying for. take the diapers and the wipes, etc.

when you're home, ASK FOR HELP. people offer because they mean it and want to help. i was so stubborn (read: stupid) and never asked for help with thomas. this time, if anyone asks for help i will take them up on it. and you should too! if someone offers to take the baby for a walk so you can lay down, DO IT!

it's ok if the baby cries. he/she isn't going to die if you need to use the bathroom. i was so nuts when thomas was born that i wouldn't pee for hours and hours because i was afraid to put him down. he wasn't going anywhere! this time, the baby will be ok if i take a quick shower. he'll be ok if i need to tend to my older son's needs for a few minutes.

and if BF'ing doesn't work, it doesn't work. move on. i was so stubborn with the bf'ing that i drove myself insane. i had mastitis twice, thrush three times, some weird condition that made me constantly in pain with my boobs for 14 weeks, and ripped up nipples (not to mention flat nipples). but i refused to stop. so by the time i was ready to let DH give him a bottle, it was too late and i wound up being the only source of his food. no bottle, no formula, nada. i'm glad that i bf'ed for 20 months but the pain and stress and craziness and depression for the first 14 weeks was completely unnecessary. if it's too much, it's ok to stop. this time, i'm going to do my best and i'm going to tell myself that my happiness and comfort is way more important to being a good mother than exclusively bf'ing. plus, DH needs to step up and feed the kid every once in a while.

annestacy's picture
Joined: 05/31/09
Posts: 473

I agree with the accepting help thing. And don't feel bad if you don't cook for a month after. I didn't. DH had to come home and make dinner. Oh well. I had been up all night/all day with a crankypants kiddo. And accept offers to have someone give you a break-go sit at a park, go get a pedicure/manicure, get a haircut...take some time for yourself. And try to nap when the baby is napping. I know its hard, but if you don't take that opportunity, you'll be even more exhausted.

Oh, and one final thing, if you have long hair, pull it back when you're burping the baby. There's nothing grosser than the smell of spit up/vomit/reflux right next to your face. I once flung spit up across the room because it got in my hair and I shook like a dog. It was disgusting.

Summer05's picture
Joined: 09/18/05
Posts: 790

Nancy ~ wow, you're my hero darling, but yeah nobody needs to be a martyr!
Anne ~ omg you have that so totally right about the spitup getting in your hair, I had forgotten :puke:

Blocked ducts cleared out for me with a little massage and 1 raw clove of garlic squeezed into my serving of spaghetti sauce (or whatever lunch/dinner was on the menu).

Joined: 02/20/11
Posts: 865

I've said it before but bonding is not always instant! It took me three long days before I had any feeling for my daughter and the pain and anxiety it caused me was excruiating. Give yourself a break and a few days. Of course if after a week it's not there consult! The faster the better because there are solutions!!

kmm123's picture
Joined: 12/13/08
Posts: 1839

Evan loved the swaddleme blanket. He did fight it initially but it really helped massively in getting him to sleep. And the swing/vibrating chair. Naps took place there.

Mostly I was surprised that having a newborn just wasn't all that hard. I think some of it is just my personality -- and the fact I'm used to juggling 8-12 dogs LOL Seriously. But newborns don't DO much. Evan at nearly 2 is SO much more work than a newborn in my mind -- he's also a lot more fun (sorry....I prefer the interactive talking, walking stuff) but except for the lack of bedtime routine for the first 3-6 weeks I found days with a newborn pretty easy. Feed him when he wants, hold him, use the swing if I needed my arms or wear him. No big deal. And if he freaked while I showered or pee'd I didn't really worry. He was always safe and secure. Hopefully I can keep both kiddos happy this time!

ashamom27's picture
Joined: 07/06/06
Posts: 1010

Learn how to swaddle

use the bouncy seat or swing

get a good book to read when you nurse and a good water bottle- you will be thirsty

smell the top of their head as much as you can- then the newborn smell goes away...

lily0624's picture
Joined: 03/21/07
Posts: 591

katie - you're right - the newborn stage isn't that hard but i think what makes it hard is not that the babies are doing all that much but it's the lack of sleep and the uncertainty of what we're doing that's hard. kwim? my son had terrible colic - for the first almost 4 months, if he was awake he was crying. that was really hard. but you're right - for a "normal" baby (lol), you had an awesome approach that i wish to take on - if he's crying but you need a shower, take the shower! he'll be ok! and you'll be clean!

asha yes! the swaddle! it saved us! they may fight it but just go with it and everyone will be happier. the happiest baby on the block has a great tutorial.

something else i thought of - all the newborn toys - take 'em back. they not only can't see any of them for weeks and weeks but they won't interest the babies. they just want to hear your voice and see your face. i always see new moms (me included) with all those hanging toys on the car seat with like, 2 week old babies. you don't need em. i should have taken all those toys back to the store and bought a pack of diapers with the credit! Smile

Four4us's picture
Joined: 01/13/06
Posts: 324

***Lurker here***

This is such a great thread! Thought I would add in my 2 cents LOL

- My dh always referred to it as the "day 3 meltdown" as a few days after I gave birth to all my kids, I guess due to hormone changes, I pretty much became a mess. I remember crying and my dh asked me what was wrong and my reply was "I don't know!" as i swabbed up tears which rolled down my face. It was strange, as I wasn't sad (well I was, but not for any particular reason) but I do remember just being very emotional. By the time my 4th came along, I just went with it and didn't wonder what was going on. My friends seem to have gone through it too around the same time give or take a day.

Good luck to all of you! I can't believe it's already almost November, my last dd was born in November and I can still feel that sense of excitement around this time!

Congrats and ELV's sent to you!

Four4us's picture
Joined: 01/13/06
Posts: 324

"ashamom27" wrote:

Learn how to swaddle

use the bouncy seat or swing

get a good book to read when you nurse and a good water bottle- you will be thirsty

smell the top of their head as much as you can- then the newborn smell goes away...

Asha!!! You know I am following another Large Family mama! I LOVE what you wrote about smelling the top of their head! That is so true, I thought I was crazy that I always did that and now that I read that from you I know I am not!!! ROFL

That is the best tip ever! I miss that smell so much!

kmm123's picture
Joined: 12/13/08
Posts: 1839

Oh Colic is a whole ball of wax I didn't deal with AT ALL with Evan. And if this baby is a non stop crier you might all hear me going bananas! Reflux, colic all those things people have to deal with have to make things incredibly hard!

Starryblue702's picture
Joined: 04/06/11
Posts: 5454

For the epesiotomy/tearing, I used a quirt bottle with warm water, and the hospital gave me this spray that helped a lot too (can't remember the name of it, but it numbs the area down there to help with the pain).

The contractions while BF were killer... but only with the third baby! I didn't notice anything at all with my first two, but I sure was in tears while feeding DD for the first week or so! I'm totally freaked out about BF this one, and the bad part is, I can't take any of the good drugs that they give to you for pain because they make me throw up!

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