delivery fears

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delivery fears

I know it is early, but I am already thinking about delivery. DS was a forcep assisted one. He was too long for my petite body and his neck was bent and I could not push him out. I pushed for an hour with no progress. I had a bad 3rd degree tear and it took the doc an hour to stitch me up. The recovery was horrible. I do not want that again. I would rather have a c-section. I hope I have a different outcome this time. :confused:

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Every time is different. Don't stress!

With DD, I pushed for 2 hours and ended up with what my OB classified as a "blowout". I tore in 9 different directions. I ended up with over 60 stitches, and it took me over an hour to be stitched up. It was a rough recovery. I was sore for at least 2-3 months.

The second time I was SOOOO nervous! What if I tore all over again??? But my DS was born after only 50 minutes of pushing, and I had some tears, but they only required a couple of stitches each. My recovery was much smoother. I was up and moving around way sooner.

So, even if you had a bad delivery the first time around, it can go much smoother the second! Don't feel that a C-section would be easier! I hear C-section recovery is TERRIBLE too. Keep up your hope!

You should look in to perineal massage, it might ease your mind.

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I had a similar challenge with DD, she was very stubborn. Water broke at 5:30am and she was finally born 5:35am the following day. I don't remember how long I was actively pushing I think it was 2:30am when they asked me to start? My epidural went in funny, I was labouring and pushing tilted to the side at a strange angle it was awful. I was SO exhausted and out-of-it I was either sleeping or quite useless for almost a day after she was born. I also had a 3rd degree tear but my recovery was fine, I think because my Doc had me on all the right course of action and was insistent on the pain meds - also I was so thankful to be home and through the horrible delivery. Oh except I just remembered the part about having pain trying to DTD for 6 flipping months later - THAT was bad.

Uck I also had an episiotomy and would you believe the first snip wasn't good enough so they did it again, gah - talk about insult to injury. She was only 7.11 not giant or anything, my Mom has said although our hips LOOK like good wide childbearing ones our bones are very deceptive with little room for the baby to pass through. My Doc was so apologetic, she kept saying "I know I told you I don't like to use (episiotomy, vacuum and forceps) but" so we had tried both vacuum and forceps to get little miss stubborn out finally. Poor thing her nose was squished sideways and she was all swollen - she looked like a boxer with her fists all balled up. Also I didn't get to hold DD for nearly an hour after she was born while they stitched me up, I am sad about that part but DH did hold her immediately though. And I feel bad that I had to have her put in the nursery with a pacifier her first night while I finally got some sleep.

So, probably like you, from the moment I (finally) got pregnant I have been worried about repeating that delivery.

But, as they say the 2nd one is always easier!

I'm not sure if I'll do an epidural again either, I'm convinced that was what had me so messed up for so long. I'm kinda hoping labour goes so quickly this time that I don't have the time to consider it!

I asked my Mom about it and she had a really tough time with my older brother but she said it really was much easier with me she barely remembers it - so I'm clinging to that info a bit as well.

I do have a question about natural birth without epidural - does the mom ever pass out from the pain? You'd think that we would have heard about that if it was commonplace? I'm hoping to learn more about natural birth as I think 'the odds' will help me be braver this time!

OMG Sandra 9 directions? I've never heard of a blowout before, oww owww owwwww owwww

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In my experience, each time gets a little easier! With my first I went natural, had an episiotomy, and tore twice on the inside... it was a nightmare and it hurt to sit down for weeks after. Needless to say when my second came I was very nervous, but it was nothing like before. No cutting or tearing of anything anywhere! Same thing with baby # 3! Your body is prepared a little better after baby #1, so you should be just fine!

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Wow, way to make us first time mums feel better! LOL.

I don't know if this is a good philosophy... I'm doing everything I can to make sure my body and mind are in tip-top shape. Visualization, affirmations, meditation, journaling, exercise, hydration, fruits & veggies. I'm really choosing NOT to dwell on things that *could* happen during labor, but trying to prepare as much as possible...

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"sweetsriracha" wrote:

Wow, way to make us first time mums feel better! LOL.

I don't know if this is a good philosophy... I'm doing everything I can to make sure my body and mind are in tip-top shape. Visualization, affirmations, meditation, journaling, exercise, hydration, fruits & veggies. I'm really choosing NOT to dwell on things that *could* happen during labor, but trying to prepare as much as possible...

Oh Sweets I didn't mean it like that! That's why I said "in my experience!" All pregnancies and deliveries are different, no two are alike! I'm sure you'll be just fine and wonderful!

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Krystal, I was 100% teasing you. Thats the problem with the internet, you can't see my joke-y face. I'm sure I'll be fine, too Smile

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"sweetsriracha" wrote:

Krystal, I was 100% teasing you. Thats the problem with the internet, you can't see my joke-y face. I'm sure I'll be fine, too Smile

I knew you were, you just never know! I need to use more of these... :ROFL::rolleyes:

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Uff well this is my second and my first was no problem (despite being a REALLY big baby - you know your kid is big when the attending pedi comes in and says in amazement "you didn't even break his clavicle did you see how wide his shoulders are???") LOL So I figure if I can get him out in 40 minutes of pushing with 2 small first degree tears I can handle this kid. I'm still hoping for a nice normal 7lb baby LOL I have no idea if not having pain meds helped me but I didn't have any. I did nothing to prepare though, no massage, no classes, no prep. I just stayed home until 8cm then went in, stalled (likely b/c of that giant head/shoulder combo didn't want to come down so much), had some pitocin (which I didn't find bad at all...), then pushed for 45 minutes. Out he came, a couple stitches and I was in the shower myself by the time he was being bathed. Let's hope that every birth is different thing isn't a negative in my case Wink

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My first was an emergency c-section (no labor) and my second was a VBAC. I had a second degree tear and I still preferred the VBAC. With tears, the key is Epsom salt sits baths. Makes them heal up super fast. Start in the hospital (you probably have to ask for it) and continue at home. They have a tray that fits over the toilet that you can sit in with the salt water. I waited about 6 weeks (when the post partum bleeding stopped) to have sex again and everything was fine.

I went without an epidural and I don't think it was that bad. My worst migraine was worse. The trick for me was to mentally welcome the contractions and not fight it. Once they start, I don't think the pain gets worse, they just get longer and closer together. The absolute worst part was when they didn't want me to push when my body was READY to push, lol. Fighting it is the worst thing you can do, in my opinion. Once it came to actually pushing, it was no big deal. Almost easy in comparison. The OB saw that I was going to tear and asked if she could numb me and I let her. I got to hold my baby as they stiched me up, so I didn't mind.

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My first, I didn't dialate at all. I had been induced. The dr said that if that happens it is hospital procedure after X hours (don't remember how many) they offer a c/s. We waited a while longer, then opted for the c/s.
The dr noticed a blood vessel had burst in my uterus. I was really out of it for the birth. I saw my baby, then fell "asleep". It took 6 hours for them to actually get me stitched up (which is why they put me all the way under). During that time, my husband truly thought I was dying. I woke up and had no clue of any of it. I was just happy I got to see my baby.

A few days later my incision started to get infected and split back open. I had to have my pain meds or I was in excruciating pain. They had to open up my incision several times in hopes that it would seal on its own. It took six months before it started to heal. It sucked pretty bad.

Before her birth I was all about all natural read up on Ina May Gaskin stuff like that. A c/s never crossed my mind, especially not one like that.

Second time I wanteed to wait it out, ny drs were fine either way. But towards the end, he couldn't get comfortable and would flip several times a day in/out of breech. It was odd because it was the days when I would try to relax and concentrate on positive natural birth. I got scared something in my body was wrong and the baby knew, so I opted for a c/s. (but yes babies do flip right up until they are born, don't let they scare you!).

It went really smoothly. As soon as the baby was out they unstrapped my arms (both times my arms were strapped down) and I was allowed to hold him. My husband was forced to cut the cord, which he absolutely said he did not want to do. He was taken away for a minute or so(my husband went with him) to get his weight/apgars. I was awake the whole time in recovery with him, got to bf right away.

Later on my dr told me, had I tried natural , my uterus would have burst, but not to worry because she stitched it up well and next time I could try ncb.

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Since I know I am having a c-section I know I don't have to worry about delivery issues. For me I hate needles so I am not looking forward to that spinal again. And I wish the recovery was easy, it was so hard for me and quite painful. And with DS being in the NICU every day I had to get up, shower get ready, drive to the hospital, walk to the NICU and sit in a chair all day. Ouch!!

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"mellen" wrote:

My first was an emergency c-section (no labor) and my second was a VBAC. I had a second degree tear and I still preferred the VBAC. With tears, the key is Epsom salt sits baths. Makes them heal up super fast. Start in the hospital (you probably have to ask for it) and continue at home. They have a tray that fits over the toilet that you can sit in with the salt water. I waited about 6 weeks (when the post partum bleeding stopped) to have sex again and everything was fine.

I went without an epidural and I don't think it was that bad. My worst migraine was worse. The trick for me was to mentally welcome the contractions and not fight it. Once they start, I don't think the pain gets worse, they just get longer and closer together. The absolute worst part was when they didn't want me to push when my body was READY to push, lol. Fighting it is the worst thing you can do, in my opinion. Once it came to actually pushing, it was no big deal. Almost easy in comparison. The OB saw that I was going to tear and asked if she could numb me and I let her. I got to hold my baby as they stiched me up, so I didn't mind.

I did the sitz baths and they did not help much Sad My experience was horrible. I also had little /no control of bowel movements for days. I don't blame my doc either, I think it was just an awful tear b/c of the forceps. If forceps are needed again, I will scream for a c-section. I cannot deal with that pain again.

I had an epidural, and will get one again! I have a low pain tolerance. Very low.

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"RobinBG" wrote:

I had an epidural, and will get one again! I have a low pain tolerance. Very low.

Oh, me too. I've had epidurals with both and will have one again. I am a BIG wimp Wink I have no pain tolerance at all.

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"mellen" wrote:

I went without an epidural and I don't think it was that bad. My worst migraine was worse. The trick for me was to mentally welcome the contractions and not fight it. Once they start, I don't think the pain gets worse, they just get longer and closer together. The absolute worst part was when they didn't want me to push when my body was READY to push, lol. Fighting it is the worst thing you can do, in my opinion. Once it came to actually pushing, it was no big deal. Almost easy in comparison.

I totally agree. I had an epidural with my second and third babies, but with each one when it came time to push the doctor's weren't there and I had to hold back! Even though I didn't feel any pain, it's like you're literally going against nature and your body by NOT pushing your baby out... it's the hardest thing in the world to do! Once you're able to push it's like sheer bliss lol!

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I know all these things happen, but if you are a FTM don't be scared by all these stories!!!

Here's mine ( a bit tamer )

First of all, my water broke and I didnt go into labour. I actually went for a 2 km walk with my dog and then stopped at the neighbours for a lemonade and to make sure they could take the dog out to pee the next morning Smile I went to the hospital and I had to be induced.

I didnt enjoy the fact that I had to be attached to a fetal monitor and be on my back in bed all the time, but that is a minor detail. After about an hour it hurt like all out, so I had an epidural. I am a big time whimp but I must say the IV was worse for me than the epidural.

After that I FELL ASLEEP. I slept for six hours straight and all through my labour. I woke up, thought I had to poop (yes no one had bothered to tell me the urge to push is exactly the same as the urge to have a huge poop). I pushed for five minutes and out she came!

At this point I went into shock. I had a baby in my arms, it was a complete out of body experience. I had an internal tear and had to have an emergency team come and stitch me up for about an hour. THat said, I DIDNT CARE. Honestly, I was just so surprised that I actually had a baby that the rest just wasnt important.

Dont be stressed by the delivery: what will be will be, and having that baby born will just wash away any complications or pain that you might have.

Recovery is a different story, but by then its just healing and there is no fear or apprehension Smile

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I had a relatively straight forward birth with DS, no issues. That said I'm still darn nervous about it the 2nd time round. The thing which is worrying me the most is going into pre-term labour and lo spending weeks in a neonatal unit. I'm not sure why i worry about, but i do.

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I really can't complain about DD's birth. I was terrified because I never actuatlly had a 'contraction', I just hurt all over, constantly. I had read that usually means you are losing the baby, so I was a nutcase! I was 9.5 cm dialated when I got to the hospital, but DD was still at -2 or something. She just would not drop!! So I got the epidural, we broke water, waited (the dept. was super busy, so I was OK with waiting!), no movement. They ran a pitocin drip, still no droppage. A nurse came in to prep me for a C-section and I told her she had the wrong room, it was the lady next door (she had been pushing for 18 hours or something!) because I really thought she had made a mistake. (Turns out the doc had gone ahead and told them to prep me) Doc came in, and DD was 'close enough' so she was born the 'old fashioned way' about an hour later!

Nothing too complicated. First births can be easy! Don't worry girls!:D

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"jeepbaby" wrote:

I really can't complain about DD's birth. I was terrified because I never actuatlly had a 'contraction', I just hurt all over, constantly. I had read that usually means you are losing the baby, so I was a nutcase! I was 9.5 cm dialated when I got to the hospital, but DD was still at -2 or something. She just would not drop!! So I got the epidural, we broke water, waited (the dept. was super busy, so I was OK with waiting!), no movement. They ran a pitocin drip, still no droppage. A nurse came in to prep me for a C-section and I told her she had the wrong room, it was the lady next door (she had been pushing for 18 hours or something!) because I really thought she had made a mistake. (Turns out the doc had gone ahead and told them to prep me) Doc came in, and DD was 'close enough' so she was born the 'old fashioned way' about an hour later!

Nothing too complicated. First births can be easy! Don't worry girls!:D

That is crazy that they didn't warn you or anything! actually your whole labor (if that's what you want to call it?) seems pretty crazy, I don't think I ever knew anyone who didn't have contrax.

my neighbor was similar, she was told "if the contrax get bad, come in" They never really got bad, so she just stayed at home and suddenly was like "OMG these things are only a minute apart, I better go in?" she was already completely dialated by the time she got there. then had the baby shortly after her arrival. This was her first, she was 45 and the baby was 10 + pounder! no rips or tears!