Fearing the Dr will be late...

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Joined: 11/15/08
Posts: 34
Fearing the Dr will be late...

My biggest fear about this birth is that my Dr is going to be late for the delivery. I keep reading old posts about birthing experinces, and it always seems like the nurses are telling every mom to stop pushing so the Dr has time to arrive.
With my first labour, my Dr showed up 3.5 hours after I felt the urge to push. Sad My body kept involuntarily pushing, I had absolutely no control, and I had four nurses all standing there screaming at me to stop pushing, when it wasn't my fault. By the time my Dr showed up, I was so tired from already having been through labour for 34 hours with 3.5 of those hours being wasted away on waiting for her, that it took me another 3 hours to finally push the baby out. It was horrible. My whole labour was horrible, the nurses were so mean (one nurse wouldn't let me move my legs to relieve my pain, which is so hard to do Sad ), they wouldn't let me try any of the birthing positions I had wanted to try, they wouldn't even believe me that I was in active labour and kept sending me home until I refused to go home and they FINALLY decided to check me for dilation and I was already 8 cm. I hemorhaged almost to the point of death, I had third degree tearing.. They told me that they'd send me home if I didn't take demerol (when I was 8 cm!!!), so I gave in, and I'm ALLERGIC to demerol. Sad I was puking and hallucinating for what seemed like forever. But the worst part of it all was laying there in agony for 3.5 hours, waiting for my Dr to show up, and having nurses yell at me for something I couldn't control.

So I switched Dr's this time, hoping that this one will be a little (okay, A LOT) more timely. I was so happy to see that she was constantly running in and out of her office to drive to the hospital to check on women in labour or deliver babies. She didn't seem concerned about making her patients wait because she had to go and deliver, and that was fine with me! That's what I wanted to see. She told me that if the nurses are being rude to call her and she will come to the hospital just to support me -- thaty I am HER patient and she will be respect all of my wishes and what I want to do to be comfortable and happy. But now she announces to me that she is leaving the country on my due date. Sad Funny enough, this is the same reason my best friend refuses to go to this Dr -- because the week before HER due date (4 years ago), this Dr left the country with little notice. My due date is next Friday... And so if I don't deliver before Thursday, I'll be stuck with a Dr that I have met a few times, but I don't know anything about. I don't know if I'll be a priority or if she's going to make me wait like the last one did, or if she'll try to force me into things I'm not comfortable with.
I really hate this hospital and all you ever hear are horror stories, but the hubby absolutely refuses to let me give birth in one of the other hospitals because they aren't as close to home. Sad I was SO optomistic about this birth, but now that I know my Dr is leaving, I'm terrified that history is going to repeat itself.

For moms -- How long has everyone else had to wait for the Dr to get there? Is it really common to be stuck waiting for a long period of time?
I'm really not comfortable trying to get the ball rolling; I'd rather baby bake until she's ready to come out... So if I'm on time or late and stuck with a different Dr, then I will have to live with it..

ashamom27's picture
Joined: 07/06/06
Posts: 1010

Honestly, I can't believe the nurses told you to wait for the doctor! Wow! i would have pushed and cursed at them at the same time. I just can't believe how cruel they were!

With my babies, from the 4th child on, they were either delivered by a resident or the nurse in the room. I will wait for no one! If it's time for the baby to be born, it's time! I don't care if they didn't finish their bagels or had a very important meeting.... to me, I was through enough by the time I feel the urge to push and I WILL push!
I got yelled at, many times for not waiting, but I don't really care!
I am sorry that you have this worry about your doctor not being there. To me, as long as the baby is safe and I am safe, I don't care who "catches" it. KWIM?

Jenni Beth's picture
Joined: 03/03/11
Posts: 1407

Wow, I am so sorry that your previous birth experience was so horrible! No one should ever be treated like that during what is suppose to be one of the happiest times of life. I certainly understand your fears. That may be just a huge coincidence that your OB is leaving town right before your EDD. Does she frequently travel like this? Is she involved in missionary work of some sort? If you think it is a possibility that a different OB will deliver you, I'd try to make an appointment with this other OB just so you can sit and talk about your previous bad exprience and that you don't want a repeat. I'm sure the 'on call' OB would be more than happy to go over things with you and help calm any fears you may have.

To answer your question...when I delivered my baby on Tuesday I didn't have to wait long for the doctor because she was just down in the hall in a csection. I was 10cm and ready to push and we did a few pushes- me and the nurses- then she had me just lay back and relax for a few minutes until the doctor arrive. I'm talking literally minutes though...not hours. I was able to wait without a problem but I also never had that 'urge to push'. They just told me when to push and breathe so that is what I did. I think it would be so miserable WANTING to push but being told NO! I hope you are able to have a dialogue with your current OB and the one who might be delivering you. You'll proably feel better after you verbalize your concerns and make a plan to avoid those scenarios. Good luck. I hope you get a fast and easy labor and delivery!

Summer05's picture
Joined: 09/18/05
Posts: 790

Wow with that experience I can certainly understand your reservations! Sorry your current doc might be out on your due date :(. I'm sure this time around will be a much better delivery for you, even if you have an on-call doc. I guess I'd want to know how many doctors are on call while your Doc is out of the country, and who they are. Hopefully the doctor on call is not the same one you had to wait for!! And the nurses - wow what the heck was it a full moon that night? Hopefully you'll not run into that problem again, I love that your doc stated she'd not allow that behaviour. Have you been able to tour this hospital again? I don't know if that is common practice in the States, but thought if you could see them in action (on their terms and schedule) it may ease your mind & things might look a lot different than they did before. For a different headspace, try and visualize a completely different and relaxing labour. Put a box of chocolates or some goodies in your hospital bag, as a gift for the nurses assuming everything goes perfectly (make them your favourite so if it doesn`t go well they are your treat, lol). Don't let them see your fear, smile when you check in. Find a way to let the past go and refresh - print this out and burn it, fold it up paper-airplane it off a cliff, stick it through the shredder, line the hamster's cage with it, put in a helium balloon and let it go to the sky.... I'm sure it sounds silly but could go a long way to you gaining control of your past experience and those current fears.

kmm123's picture
Joined: 12/13/08
Posts: 1839

That's horrible! My nurses actually started me pushing a bit before he arrive b/c being a FTM it can take some time. I didn't have to wait at all on the contrary every push for me was very forced I never ever felt that urge to push everyone else describes. They thought maybe it was due to how big Evan was but they had to really coach me to push b/c I just didn't feel it. Doc was there, no waiting, no stress and bless my nurses they were WONDERFUL! Moving me to my side to help him come down, laughing with me when I told them to just suck him out LOL I hope you have a MUCH better experience!

Joined: 11/15/08
Posts: 34

Thanks everyone, I should hopefully only have one or two nurses this time because I'm not a first timer, so I'm really hoping that helps. For first time moms they give you four nurses (and every shift change you get four different ones), and things get really stressful and complicated when there are that many people around you. They don't communicate well and they all override eachother's opinions and they all tell you to do something different so they are mad at you constantly for one reason or another. My friend recently had a baby there, and a nurse gave her a shot of fentanyl; 5 minutes later another nurse came and gave her another shot of fentanyl, not knowing that another nurse already had. Her baby was born dead, they had to give him a shot of adrenaline right into his heart. I really really hate the way things work in this hospital. BUT, I keep telling myself that I'm going to be the biggest COW that I want to be this time, and if the nurses are being pushy, I'll tell them to eff off and let me do whatever I want to.
The Dr I'm getting isn't an on-call Dr -- I actually wish that they would just do it that way because then maybe I could get whomever is already there. All of my Dr's patients have been assigned the same Dr until she's back from her vacation. I think it's a really odd coincedence that both my best friend and I had her leave right before our babies were due. For my friend's baby she went on vacation in Europe. For my baby she is attending an event her husband will be at in New York. I'm really disappointed... I only know the other Dr's first name, so I looked up her name on that "rate MD's" site. There are only two of them, both with perfect scores and the ratings were excellent.. but one only has 4 ratings, the other has 2. Doesn't really give me much of an idea.
My current Dr gives her patients her pager # so as soon as you think you're in labour, you can let her know, and you can keep following up with her. My last Dr never gave me this option (I was never even given an emergency number and if I called the office she was always busy and never able to take my calls). I don't have a pager # for the Dr I'll be assigned to, so I'm really worried she'll be late and unrpepared. Sad
Guess there is not much point in worrying though, it'll happen when it happens and I'll be stuck with who I'm stuck with... I am going to labour at home as long as possible so that I don't have to deal with the stupid hospital.

sweetsriracha's picture
Joined: 03/29/11
Posts: 1318

Have you thought about getting a doula? If expense is a concern, I'd check into getting hooked up with a doula in training. They have to attend a certain number of births before obtaining their certification - during which time they can't accept payment for their services.

hopefully there is someone in your area:

IMHO, the LAST thing you need to be worrying about during labor is dealing with rude or irresponsible staff. A doula could potentially be in charge of "handling" the staff, letting you focus on what is already the biggest job in the world.

Just my two cents...

jac81's picture
Joined: 11/22/10
Posts: 1131


My doctor was out of town the day I delivered and I had no clue she was going to be gone, but even the on call doctor didn't deliver her. I was dilated to 9 CM and I decided to let them break my water. I had no drugs and as soon as she broke my water, I felt the urge to push. They told me not to because the doctor wasn't there yet and they had nothing set up like lights, suits, stirrups, or were able to pull the bed apart. They even tried keeping my legs together like that would really stop it. They weren't rude about it thankfully, I think they were just hoping keeping my legs together would actually work. LOL! My body just started doing its job and I actually never even pushed which is what we learned in our HypnoBirthing classes. The nurse kept telling me to stop pushing and the resident said "she's not pushing, this baby is just coming." The baby just slipped right on out. The resident delivered her right there on the bed 4 minutes after she broke my water. Her scrubs were filthy afterwards and I remember apologizing to her about that. The doctor came in all suited up and asked "what just happened?" because of the frenzy in the room. Honestly, it was no big deal to me at the time who delivered my baby as long as there was someone there to do it. Now though, I really wish my doctor had been there just because she delivered DS, my nephew, and niece. Hopefully even if that does happen to you, you will have friendly staff who will allow you to follow what your body is doing. There is no reason for them to make you wait so a doctor can get there to deliver your baby.

Starryblue702's picture
Joined: 04/06/11
Posts: 5454

I only had to wait with my second delivery... and he wasn't my usual doctor. My OB was out of town when I went into labor, and I was stuck with Dr. Nightmare who left the hospital when I was 9cm dialated (with my second baby, thank you... so you know it's gonna be quick), and I had to wait almost an hour for him to come back!! I had to lay there and force myself not to push... it's the hardest thing in the world. Of course when the dumb @ss actually showed up I only pushed for ten minutes or so and he was out... then he shoved his arm up into me 3 MINUTES LATER and yanked the placenta out instead of waiting for it to deliver on it's own... long story...

If it's that important to you, you could always request to be induced a day or two before she leaves to ensure that she'll be there to deliver your baby. From my experience, that's what I would do if I knew that my OB wasn't going to be able to be there. Like you just read, this is what happened to me when I got the "on call" doctor.

Jenni Beth's picture
Joined: 03/03/11
Posts: 1407

Jasmine's suggestion of a doula sounds like a fantastic idea for you. Especially if you can find a student to save some money. You need someone looking out for YOUR best interests while you focus on delivering your baby. As a nurse, that story of the double dose of Fentanyl absolutely horrifies me! That is just plain bad, irresponsible nursing. How scary!