Feeling like a mom?

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Jenni Beth's picture
Joined: 03/03/11
Posts: 1407
Feeling like a mom?

The other day I was talking to a friend and she said 'I can't believe you are going to be a mom soon!' And I said...'I already am a mom.' She said 'but your baby isn't here yet.' And I replied 'that doesn't matter, I'm still a mom.'

That got me to thinking about a quote that goes something like 'a woman becomes a mom when she finds out she's pregnant..a man becomes a dad when his child is born'. Seems like this is so accurate. I feel like I already have a bond with Carter...more so than Matt does.

When did you girls first feel like a mom? While you were pregnant or after your baby was born? My friend thinks I'm weird for feeling like a mom already.

babydreamer11's picture
Joined: 01/23/11
Posts: 155

Not weird at all.. when i talk to my belly i say mommy this and mommy that... Smile i agree with you Smile

ashamom27's picture
Joined: 07/06/06
Posts: 1010

I kind of feel like a mom Wink

No, seriously I only felt "pregnant" when I was expecting my first, I really yearned to meet "the baby" but I didn't feel like a mom. Maybe because I was a teenager?

Nikerz20's picture
Joined: 04/18/09
Posts: 673

I guess with DS the situation was very different. We were looking at adoption up until the latter part of the pregnancy, so during that time I was just "pregnant". It wasn't until I decided to keep baby and gave so an ultimatum that I started to feel like a "mum".

Joined: 02/20/11
Posts: 865

I didn't feel like sma mom for a full week after my daughter was born. One of the nasty secrets that women don't talk about is that you don't always bond immediately after delivery. I don't know if it's hormones or what (for me I think I was in shock for a couple of days) but i didn't feel much of anything for at least three or four days.

lil96's picture
Joined: 03/27/06
Posts: 573

I think it is one of those things like the others mentioned, sure I guess technically I was a mom, my husband got me a mother's day present (I think) but it actually took until the birth to really feel like a mom. It is just this thing where eveything changes. When I am pregnant, I take care of me for the baby. But once the baby is here, I take care of the baby.

But I say you feel how you wanna feel!

lily0624's picture
Joined: 03/21/07
Posts: 591

"Freesia34" wrote:

I didn't feel like sma mom for a full week after my daughter was born. One of the nasty secrets that women don't talk about is that you don't always bond immediately after delivery. I don't know if it's hormones or what (for me I think I was in shock for a couple of days) but i didn't feel much of anything for at least three or four days.

i think i was even longer than that! while pregnant i felt pregnant. it took me a few weeks really to bond with my baby. i was really worried and upset about it because i was just scared poop-less for the first few weeks. i was trying to bf and it wasn't going well and i felt depressed. but the bond came!

the first few weeks are very hard. i told a friend of mine once that the first 6 weeks just sucked for me. and she totally agreed with me once her first came along.

i love my boy. we are two peas in a pod now. he is going to be none too pleased when this next baby comes! he's a real mommy's boy!

brady_bunch_plus_one's picture
Joined: 11/27/04
Posts: 399

I thought I felt like a mom when I was pregnant.However,once he was born and they laid him in my arms I felt like he was a stranger. I loved him and couldnt be away from him but didnt feel like a mom.When I went 3 full days with no sleep and he yawned and made me smile,that is the moment I felt like a real mom.I felt like I had "earned" being a mom.I had no sleep,looked like hell, yet this little person yawned ( after he had all these chances to sleep and had me catering to him lol) and it made me smile and know I was his mom cause even exhausted I still loved him more than I ever thought possible.
With my daughter I had that instant mother connection with her,Im sure cause she was a girl and I longed for a daughter.With my youngest it took a little while until I had that connection with him.Having a bond with them while pregnant is great it really is but once he is born you will get a new sense of being a mom.

Starryblue702's picture
Joined: 04/06/11
Posts: 5454

That saying is so true. DH tries, but I know he's not very interested... even when the baby is moving it's not much to him but it's everything to me. Maybe because this will be his fifth baby? It's a totally different story when baby arrives though... he's hooked! I just don't think it's real to them now because they can't see or hold baby. But no, you're definitely not weird for feeling like a mom... because whether they're inside you or out, you are a mom.

JenPelto's picture
Joined: 11/23/08
Posts: 73

I felt like a Mom very much with my other pregancy at moments. When I found out the gender, it was like finding out that I wasn't just "pregnant" -- there was a little boy inside of me!

In the bathtub, when I was further along, he would kick and move around and make ripples in the water. I always felt close when I was "bathing" or "swimming" with him at the pool.

When I was eating, I considered what he should be eating and tried to eat a healthier snack instead.

So there were definitely moments that I truly felt I was a Mom!

I think I was lucky at delivery. When they put him in my arms, he was exactly as I pictured and expected him to be. I was instantly in love and had an immediate bond. DH was slower to bond -- it was very foreign to him and he had never held a baby before. He was a little freaked out! But luckily for many (not all!) women it comes so naturally to nurture and love a little baby that it happens quickly. (And that's nothing to say about women who don't bond quickly with their babies -- it's due to so many things and they aren't monsters and nothing's wrong with them, etc.)

JenPelto's picture
Joined: 11/23/08
Posts: 73

I talk about my last pregnancy but don't mention how I feel about this one! This pregnancy I feel so much different...I feel that there's a little "girl" inside me but I don't have as strong of a connection with the baby. Not to say it isn't "strong" -- I would be completely devasted if anything was to happen to her! But if, one one side of the fence was "just feeling fat and pregnant" and the other side was "talking with the unborn baby, feeling like a mom of two, etc.", I'm more on the side with just feeling "pregnant". Maybe somewhere in the middle.

Maybe it has to do with me only recently coming to terms (HAPPILY!) that this pregnancy has a great chance of going full term. In the beginning I was cautious and guarded my emotions with not letting baby thoughts fill my mind too much. So I feel like only now can I jump up and down and get excited, kind of like that first positive pee stick moment in the bathroom.

kmm123's picture
Joined: 12/13/08
Posts: 1839

Hm I'm somewhere in between. I'm excited and I love love love feeling the baby move inside etc but I wouldn't say I feel like a mom of 2 yet....just a pregnant tired mom LOL

MelanieP's picture
Joined: 09/25/09
Posts: 882

I am one of the ones that felt like I was a mom during pregnancy. I start talking to the baby and sharing what we are doing etc. And I always will say thing like 'Mommy loves you' etc. I love being a mom!!

Jenni Beth's picture
Joined: 03/03/11
Posts: 1407

I feel like I already know him...for sure! I wonder if I will feel that instant connection when he arrives. I won't be disappointed if I don't because I know that it can take time but I feel really bonded to this baby.

seyelephant60's picture
Joined: 07/18/11
Posts: 214

I'm 23 weeks and I feel like a mommy. My hubby is already a daddy but he feels like a new daddy with this baby. He talks to him and says good night to him everynight, and he cant wait to feel him kick for the first time. Even my stepson(13) feels like a big brother, he love helping me with Parkers room and anything that will help his prego stepmom Smile Your a mommy both ways now or later congratz on being a mommy!