Freaking out

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Jenni Beth's picture
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Freaking out

I'm not doing so well- mentally or physically. My head is pounding, right low back hurts, bad heart burn, and I feel like I could throw up. Mentally I don't feel ready to have this baby. Nothing is going how I planned and I don't feel like it is time for him to be born. I'm scared of the induction drugs and the pain. I'm scared I won't know what I'm doing and I'll be a bad mom. I'm not in a very good place right now and all I want to do is cry. I'm not ready.

sandraleigh's picture
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Last seen: 2 years 10 months ago
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Sad :bigarmhug:

Don't worry Jenni! It's completely expected for you to feel out of control - you never planned to have pre-e, an induction, and have him arrive 2 weeks early! Just take this weekend one day at a time.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

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Last seen: 4 years 5 months ago
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You are normal! It's not what you hoped for but beleive me, after he's born you won't think twice about it. I've been induced and the mental games waiting are much worse than the pain of the birth. You always have options if the pain is too much. Everything will be fine: I'm scared too but it will all be over soon and youll have two extra weeks to have him in your life which is a wonderful gift!!

sweetsriracha's picture
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(((hugs)))

I empathize - I understand how frustrating it is when plans go awry.

I don't believe for a minute you are unprepared! You've done loads of research and it sounds like you have a fantastic support network. Carter is lucky to have such a loving Mom.

You are doing the right thing to have the kind of birth that is best for you and your sweet baby! It will be over before you know it. Biggrin

kmm123's picture
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:bigarmhug: It's not what you planned but it will be perfect! Just remember to take it one day at a time, one contraction at a time etc etc. You have pain options, you have all the skills to be a wonderful mother (heck you're a NURSE! You're superwoman already!!!). It will be totally fine Smile

Summer05's picture
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Sorry you're feeling this way... the physical pain, discomfort & Pre-E must be wearing you out and creating the anxiety. You know you totally got this! You're going to be an awesome Mom, and you already are don't forget! Asides all that, it's normal to be anxious about something completely new. The thing is, you've been doing your research, learning and making connections with us BTDT's - you're going to be fine. And Carter will be ready. It's a life-changing journey, totally understandable to feel out of control. Wish I could give you a real hug!
:bighug:

lily0624's picture
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Last seen: 4 years 9 months ago
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it's totally normal to worry. and guess what - you'll be worrying every day now for the rest of your life! you're going to be a great mom! i just know it. because you're worrying is why you'll be great! if you weren't worried i think we'd all be a little, well, worried!

months ago when everyone was sharing their birth plans there were a bunch of us who, hopefully nicely, said that most birth plans don't happen. this is just something you can't plan for. you can only do your best to go with the flow.

i was induced early and was freaking out too. it's going to be ok. sure, there will be pain but in the end you'll have a beautiful baby boy.

i've said this before to someone: at the end of the day, does it really matter what kind of birth you have? you think carter cares if he came out by being induced or in the hospital or in a blow up tub for goodness sake? nope! as soon as he comes out he's going to think "mooommmmmyyyyyy!!!! give me something to eeaaaattt and snuggle meeee!!!" and guess what - THAT'S what matters!

you're going to do great! promise.

Jenni Beth's picture
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Last seen: 3 years 2 weeks ago
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Thanks for all the reassuring words. I feel better today. When my ob started talking to me about seizure precautions and stroke prevention it made me super uneasy. I know that odds are everything will go just fine but that chance of things going wrong is very real to me and very scary.

Matt took me out to dinner last night and today we're watching college football. He's working a double on Sunday so one of my best friends is coming over to visit. Then Monday I'm sure I will be a ball of nerves waiting for 8pm to roll around. I know once the baby is here I will be ok. I don't want him to be in distress during the labor. I know my body isn't ready to have him now and I wish I could carry him longer.

I came off my anxiety medicine in August and September for the baby's sake and now look at me stressing out! Haha! I'm banishing the scary thoughts and putting down the childbirth books. It is going to be ok.

Summer05's picture
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So glad you're feeling better today Jenni! Totally understandable feelings, especially after all the scary speeches from the Docs. It's great you've got your weekend planned out so you can keep 'busy' with your feet up too. Biggrin Way to banish the negatives! :brucelee:

Starryblue702's picture
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Awww Jenni every FTM goes through exactly what you're feeling! With my first, I must have cried for a week straight in my last month! I felt that because I was only 20 years old (even though I was married), I hadn't given myself enough "me" time, or time alone with my husband, hadn't gone to college, wouldn't ever be able to have a life again... all of the things that run through your head!! I promise you though, every one of those thoughts will be gone the second you lay your eyes on your son. It's the most incredible feeling in the world, that one moment, you're instantly hooked. And don't worry, you'll be a wonderful mother. Remember, for thousands of years women have done this, back before there were books and classes to help us out, and they obviously did a great job because here we all are lol!

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Your thoughts are normal. As everyone else said, the worrying continues Smile I think I am more worried this time b/c I know what to expect with an infant and I have a 3 yr old in the mix now too! I had a panic attack a few weeks ago. Dh is very calm, so he balances me out!! You will be ok, just take it easy.

TLotus's picture
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Jenni! To worry at this point is very normal! Heck..this is #5 for me and I have some anxiety too! I am sending easy labor vibes. You will do great and baby will be here safe and in your arms before you know it! :bighug: