Hey ladies! I've been a lurker until recently and I just wanted to say "hi!"
I'm a mommy to a tot named Cable and I own an artsy movie theater with my husband.
I had a miscarriage right before the holidays in December. It was (needless to say) a terrible experience. I had only told close friends and family, and I was thankful that I was so reserved about my pregnancy. I didn't have to "untell" a lot of people -- and I didn't have many strangers giving me hugs or sending flowers.
I became pregnant only a couple of months later and proceeded with great caution. I had read and heard that the odds were that I wouldn't miscarry again, and that the baby would have a higher chance of being born healthy post-miscarriage, and yada yada yada. Those odds didn't ease my mind at all.
TMI(maybe?) to follow:
Then, around 10 weeks, I felt a HUGE gush of something when I stood up to get out of the car and walk into a restaurant for lunch. I ran inside to use the bathroom and saw that it was blood. TONS of it. Heavier than the heaviest day of a period -- heavier than any day of my previous miscarriage. I knew it was over. I cried and cried in the bathroom and remembered I left my husband hanging. He was mid-order when I told him that we needed to go to the hospital.
Long story short, they "thought" it was a subchorionic hematoma. They weren't sure, because they couldn't see everything clearly, just saw a lot of active bleeding. Baby's heart rate was detected over 200, but my cervix was closed. They gave me around a 50/50 chance and said they had no real way to tell what was going on, or what they outcome would be.
I bled lightly for a few weeks and every day was emotionally terrible. I had several ultrasounds both in the ER and at the Doc's office in that time span and nothing seemed to be confirmed either way. The last ultrasound I had showed a baby that was growing appropriately and no active bleeding in the uterus -- just a small blood clot. It was about then (14-15 weeks?) that I started to tell people.
Anyways, that's the story of why I only lurked! I hope that it gives hope to any women out there reading this that maybe went through the same thing or have a sudden HUGE bleed -- bleeding is not always a bad thing, sometimes it's a GOOD thing! In my case, they never knew why I was bleeding or understood where it was coming from. One doctor told me that it was a "good thing" that all of the blood was going somewhere else instead of pooling in my uterus with my baby. That was the first time any doctors had given me hope. The rest just saw a LOT of blood and really thought I was miscarrying (as did I).