I'm having this issue and I have talked it over with Rob to death and I am sure if I bring it up anymore he might just start to tune me out. lol. Anyways..
Rob and I both brought children into our relationship, Joshua was 10 months old when Rob and I started dating and Stephen was born a couple weeks after we started dating.. That is a crazy story all on it's own.
Since Joshua was about 2 or so Rob has had a great deal of involvement in the decisions and upbringing of Joshua. Joshuas Father is married now so Joshua also has a step mother, any time we need to change a schedule or make any decisions we all have input and sometimes we have a sit down meeting with the 4 of us and talk it out. Now I know that it is not normally like this and not every blended family can get along so well.
Now here is my issue, when it comes to stephen and his upbringing I am almost always out of the loop. I have no say in the schedule, no say in doctors appointments or anything important like that. Rob is really laid back and he is in the mind set that if it is important then he wants to know but otherwise he doesn't think it is something to get upset about. Me on the other hand feel that we should be kept in the loop for when he goes to doctors appointments or ear check ups or eye check ups or stuff about school or anything that benefits him or effects him in anyway. Now I may just be going overboard but I am tired of hearing from stephen about how he went to a doctors appointment or he takes medicine for his ears every morning and yet we have gotten nothing when Rob picks him up or anything like that. There have been many many times where she takes him to the doctors and we don't know about it until stephen says something about it. Or we know something is coming up she neglects to tell us how it went or what the results were and it kinda upsets me.
When Stephen is at our house I am the one who takes care of him for all the majority of the stuff. Rob helps out but there are times when he is here over the weekend that Rob is working and I am taking care of him, I work with him because he is a little behind/delayed in certain areas and I am the one who works with him and to be honest Rob doesn't really deal with that part I do and I know that his mother doesn't do much in that area either because Stephen has said that he doesn't do this at his moms house so why does he have to do it at our house. I have been in his life since he was born yet I feel that I am technically a babysitter. When Rob brought it up to his mother she actually said that she is his mother and Rob is the father and that is all who should be involved, that she doesn't feel I should have a say or should be kept in the loop.
Needless to say I was really upset about this. Rob told her that that isn't the case and that I should be kept in the loop and I will be involved. But honestly that doesn't mean that she is going to change what she is doing. I know she doesn't like me and she thinks I stole Rob away from her and I am pretty sure she still loves Rob, but I just wish that she would think in the best interest of her son when it comes to this matter and that every parent in Stephens life should be involved and kept in the loop.
Sorry this is really long and if this makes no sense but I am frustrated and upset, she has always been difficult and fights everything and gets very crazy when it comes to me and her son and changing anything about the schedule. No matter what Rob or I say to her she still feels like I am trying to take her place as stephens mother, when really I just want to be kept in the loop so we are ALL on the same page.
Thanks for reading if you did get this far....