Terrifying day

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Joined: 02/20/11
Posts: 865
Terrifying day

I took a short esl contract for extra money. I was teaching and my cell phone went off. I just ignored it pretending it was someone elses phone. It went off a second time saw it was my mil excused myself and answered. She told me to get to the hospital because my dh had collapsed and was taken by ambulance because of a possible heart attack.

I was shocked. He's 36. I needed to calm down so I called my mom to get her to breathe before I did the forty minute drive. She has medical training and was very reassuring. (side note, she is extremely anxious and takes care if my dad who has brain cancer full time)

I got to the ER and saw dh. He seemed to be doing well, and I got kicked out (max five minutes an hour in the ERs here for visitors)

I txted my brother and this is how it went:

dh is in the cardiac ward possible heart attack

well obviously you won't tell mom she has enough to worry about

I already told her she's concerned but fine. Our aunt us with her

I wish you wouldn't upset mom. Possible heart attack is no big deal u til it's confirmed. All you fo is cause needless worry and since I'm the one living here I have to deal with it.

Thanks for being concerned I don't need a lecture when
y husbands in the cardiac ward.

I wasn't giving you a lecture

and then I didn't answer.

Dh was released with a heart monitor and will have more tests. He's resting and will hopefully be fine but he scared the bejeezus out of me.

I'm mad st my brother. But I'm too hormonal to know if I'm justified. What do you think ?

kmm123's picture
Joined: 12/13/08
Posts: 1839

Ugh I'm so sorry and I hope DH is ok!!

How old is your brother? I only ask b/c his response sounds young....selfish. If he's 19....under stress living home etc it wouldn't excuse his complete lack of concern for your DH but I might be more inclined to accept that at 19 you just see things differently. If he's much older with more life perspective then it would bother me even more!

But that being said with all that's going on I probably wouldn't do much to address it. Focus on DH getting him well etc. Turning to your mother is natural and I'm sure she'd WANT you to.

brady_bunch_plus_one's picture
Joined: 11/27/04
Posts: 399

HUGS! Please keep us posted on DH. Logic says you would turn to your mother.Everyone has stressers in life but she is your mother and you did what any normal person would do.You needed to be calm to make the drive to get to your husband who was ill.Your brother sounds extremely selfish and I dont blame you one bit for being upset.

ashamom27's picture
Joined: 07/06/06
Posts: 1010

I am so sorry to hear that your husband has some heart problems! Of course, hearing such news you turned to your mom!
I can see how your brother is protective of her , but that wasn't a time or a place to do it, and to dismiss your DH's trouble too!
I think he is a bit of a jerk, that brother of yours.... sorry.

I hope your DH recovers fully!

Minx_Kristi's picture
Joined: 01/02/09
Posts: 1261

Oh wow, I'm glad your DH is ok and I hope all turns out for the best.

As for your brother, I get why he said what he did regarding your Mum. However, he shouldn't have flipped on you after you said you already told her. You were looking for support off your family.


fireflies11's picture
Joined: 03/26/11
Posts: 613

Glad your DH is okay! How scary! Praying everything is fine.

About your brother....he was out of line & being a jerk. It's your mother, not just his! She's a grown woman and your her daughter. He sounds pretty selfish to me.

sugspop's picture
Joined: 02/22/07
Posts: 1418

Wow, hope he is doing better! Have they determined it was in fact a HA?

I'm sorry your brother is being like that. I would be annoyed too! It's your right to tell your mom if you want, and he should show more concern for your DH than whether or not mom knows. My mom is a huge support person for me too, so I would tell her even though I know she would be worrying too. It's natural to worry, right?!

Joined: 02/20/11
Posts: 865

Thanks! All
of your perspective means a lot to me! He's 37, married, has his own house and is expecting his first baby in September. I have never stood up to him before but I think we need a discussion soon.

Dh is resting and feeling much better.

Summer05's picture
Joined: 09/18/05
Posts: 790

OMg how terrifying I'm glad DH is resting well today. Hopefully the scans show there's no permanent damage and give you more answers really soon.

Wow your 37yo bro sounds like he is totally juvenille and selfish. I don't think you are overreacting due to PG hormones at all. Maybe he is really stressed out, but you are also entitled to be stressed with all going on with DH. Silly billy. Hope you can both have a relaxed talk about it after you have the answers on your DH.

MelanieP's picture
Joined: 09/25/09
Posts: 882

I am so h appy that DH is feeling better and is resting. I hope it all turns out OK...please keep us posted. As for your brother - i would be upset too. Of course you are going to tell your mother...this is a big thing. I would talk to him about it after..first about his comments...and then about lack of sympathy. I can't believe some people.

Joined: 02/20/11
Posts: 865

I'm giving it a break. I'll see him
in a month and see how it goes. I just don't want to deal with it right now. My mom will tell him how dh is, I don't want him to go off on me again.

On a brighter note, this whole thing has stressed me out so much that I've canceled the renos for the next three weeks and I am taking out my stress on my dirty house. Things ste coming together nicely. I want dh to have a dust free home to recuperate in.

kmm123's picture
Joined: 12/13/08
Posts: 1839

Wow at 37 I'd think he'd see the bigger picture! That you were scared etc! Ugh! But I agree - focus on yourself and your family you probably won't get much besides frustration trying to deal with your brother and that doesn't seem worth it to me but I don't tend to be a confront and fight it out sort. I'll speak my mind if needed but when it's just as easy to let it go or I don't see a real possibility of a good outcome I will focus on what matters most at the moment

I really hope your DH is totally fine! Heart attacks scare the heck out of me with my DH. ALL of his mother's brothers died young from major heart attacks. 2 of them in their 40s and 1 in his 50s Sad I'm always worried!

lily0624's picture
Joined: 03/21/07
Posts: 591


please keep us posted. hope you're hubby is on his feet again quickly.

sorry about your brother. some people are just so...immature!

Joined: 02/07/12
Posts: 463

Hope the recovery goes smoothly and his health and heart gets better.

I have 3 brothers and 1 of them is exactly like that. Selfish and only worries about what he is going through. Hope it gets better as well.

Joined: 05/17/06
Posts: 370

Sorry you are going through this Carrianne. Sad

Jenni Beth's picture
Joined: 03/03/11
Posts: 1407

Sounds to me like your brother is being a total D-Bag! (I hear my younger brothers call people that...it seemed appropriate here lol!) Forget him. Let him be an ***. You did the right thing.

Summer05's picture
Joined: 09/18/05
Posts: 790

Hope DH is resting and feeling better today. Is he at home now? Were you able to get the exam results and confirmation from blood markers if it was really a heart attack? Good on you for putting breaks on your renovations for now so you can all recuperate in peace for awhile.

Starryblue702's picture
Joined: 04/06/11
Posts: 5454

OMG I would be freaked out too if that happened! Do you know anything new? Is he doing OK? I'm so sorry your brother was acting like an @ss... you are completely justified in being mad at him!