14 week appointment (slight rant)

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harmonybear's picture
Joined: 06/06/07
Posts: 639
14 week appointment (slight rant)

I drove for an hour and 10 minutes, then waited for another hour and 15 minutes to see the midwife. She came in, checked the baby's heartbeat (yay, good heartbeat!), asked if I had any other questions, and left. Then I drove home. *sigh*

This is the best practice in the city, the best chance I have for a natural birth, and I know it. Unfortunately, so do the rest of the 3 million residents of the metro area. They're just too busy, and it's frustrating. It was sort of like this when I was pg with DD, but not quite so bad. For one thing, there were other decent practices at that time. Not so much anymore. Also, the other practice was much closer to my house, and I didn't have to fight traffic to get there. It took max 45 minutes to get there, all back roads. I have to take the interstate to get to this place, and so far an hour is the shortest time it's taken. One day it took me an hour and a half.

It also doesn't help that I have to entertain DD while waiting. It was fine in the waiting room. They have a great play area for kids, it's really wonderful. But I spent at least half that waiting time inside the room, and that was not fun for her. I wish they hadn't brought me back until they were really ready for me. Sad

I'm just so torn. I really would love to go someplace closer and less busy, but there just isn't anyplace good. But on the other hand, I just don't know how I'm going to deal with this when I'm going more frequently for appointments later on.

Any words of wisdom?

Kier's picture
Joined: 03/12/12
Posts: 1973

Did you like the MW you had with DD? are you seeing her this time? or does she (or he) practice somewhere else?

belindab's picture
Joined: 06/15/02
Posts: 1033

Hmm, that's a tough one. Definitely doesn't sound ideal. It's hard having to entertain kids while you're waiting. I also hate when they take you back to a room only to wait longer. And that's a long drive, esp when you get to the every other week and then weekly visits. Is there any way they'd let you call ahead to see how backed up they are so you can adjust your wait time? I guess it just comes down to whether or not the frustration is worth being with that midwife. Maybe you could ask around again and see if there are any closer that have similar philosophies as your midwife.

harmonybear's picture
Joined: 06/06/07
Posts: 639

"Kier" wrote:

Did you like the MW you had with DD? are you seeing her this time? or does she (or he) practice somewhere else?

I'm pretty sure there's only one midwife within 45 minutes of me who is at the same practice as she was 4 years ago when I was first pregnant with DD. The rest have shifted around. The midwife who delivered my daughter left the previous practice with another midwife (generally considered the best two midwives in the area, maybe the state) and started their own practice south of the city. They had previously been north of the city - and I live even further out of the city from where they used to be. It was actually a haul to get to them last time. Maybe 35 minutes? But that really is nothing compared to the drive now.

The problem is that I love the midwives. They're wonderful, I know them, and they really are the best. But an hour is just too far if there are other options that are decent. Right??

I'm considering contacting ICAN and some friends in this area who have had natural births and see if they have any recommendations for me. I already contacted my doula and she gave me a few names, but said that these were decent options if I had a normal, easy pregnancy and delivery. She said that if there were any snags, I'd probably wish I'd stuck with my previous midwives. I believe her... but she also is very good friends with one of the midwives in my current practice, and so while I know she really knows her stuff, I also know she's somewhat biased. So I'd like another opinion too.

I'm really stressed about this. Today wasn't any easier than the last two appointments, which were stressful and pretty much killed my day. It's manageable when it's just every few weeks, but it's only going to get more intense from here. Beee

Kier's picture
Joined: 03/12/12
Posts: 1973

That stinks Sad Hopefully you can find someone else you can be comfortable with, easier to get to. How far is the drive to where you will deliver?

harmonybear's picture
Joined: 06/06/07
Posts: 639

"Kier" wrote:

That stinks Sad Hopefully you can find someone else you can be comfortable with, easier to get to. How far is the drive to where you will deliver?

Their office is right across the street from the hospital. Sad

Kier's picture
Joined: 03/12/12
Posts: 1973

oh, yikes. Well, I guess in the end you just need to make the best decision for you and your family. It really is a toss up Sad

CamelNoodle's picture
Joined: 07/28/04
Posts: 908

:lurk:
Ask them to not bring you back until the last second, since you have to entertain your DD.

lemonlemon's picture
Joined: 12/30/07
Posts: 1904

Is it mainly the distance that upsets you or the quick appt? Because I think these 5 min appts are really normal this early. It suckkkss to wait a whole month to see the doc just for them to rush in check h/b rush out. I feel like Im asking my doc questions as she's backing up to the door!! haha!!

But, IDK if its worth trading to some place you dont think is "as good". At the end of the day you probably want the BEST place with the BEST doctors (in your oppinion).

I just adore my doc so even though I wish she had more time for me I figure it's better then the place being so "dead" that they have a lot of time to sit and chat. But I dont like driving far either and I dont ever bring DS with me so I dont have to worry about entertaining anyone.

I would just maybe weigh the options, is it worth being closer to town but a doctor you might like less? or is it worth the drive in the end

Also- what happens when baby is born, do you have to travel that far still?

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

With DS I was commonly waiting 3 hour for my appointments in the 3rd tri! I had moved to a new city at 27 weeks and my options were the OB who speaks English or the OB who doesn't speak English or drive 2.5 hours to another city. Fun, huh? I saw the OB who spoke English along with all the other military wives which meant you were never seen on time. And if you didn't show up on time? They'd cancel your appt for you! Yeah, that sucked. If I had a better option I would have gladly taken it!
I think contacting ICAN and asking around is a great option. I'd also talk to your current midwife practice about the long waiting times. I'm fully willing to drive for a good experience (I drive an hour now myself to another city which is also where I'll deliver) for these quick and boring appts, but if I had a super long wait on top of the long drive I wouldn't be happy and I'd be asking around. It's tough dragging an older child to appts as it is - having to do that along with a really long wait?! yikes!

Honey3.14's picture
Joined: 04/07/12
Posts: 2094

Is there anything you can bring to entertain DD? A portable DVD player? Leapster? Two dolls and a tea set???

lemonlemon's picture
Joined: 12/30/07
Posts: 1904

I thought of you the other day when I got my U/S instructions. Our place does NOT allow children and if you do bring children they have to sit in the lobby for the first half "the technical part" with another adult and have an adult come in with them for the very end. Only ONE person is allowed with you during the "technical part" but one more can come at the end. Annoying

Kier's picture
Joined: 03/12/12
Posts: 1973

"lemonlemon" wrote:

I thought of you the other day when I got my U/S instructions. Our place does NOT allow children and if you do bring children they have to sit in the lobby for the first half "the technical part" with another adult and have an adult come in with them for the very end. Only ONE person is allowed with you during the "technical part" but one more can come at the end. Annoying

That is super annoying... what are you supposed to do if you are a single mom, or have a DH or SO that cant be there, or any number of situations where you don't have someone who can go with to watch, or just watch, your other child/ren??? Luckily this time around my husband is working for a really good company that is hugely family friendly, making it easy for him to work more one day and less another if he need to be there. But, there were times with the last two that my DH just couldnt be there, and there was no way around me bringing my kids with me (being a stay at home mom is great, except when it comes to actually getting someone to watch your kid(s) the once in a while you may need it). I would have thrown an absolute fit had my clinic ever been like that.