baby shower DOS and donts

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Kier's picture
Joined: 03/12/12
Posts: 1973
baby shower DOS and donts

I am up at my cousin's helping to get ready for a joint baby shower for 2 of my cousins that are due a day apart in July, and it got me thinking... What are things (btdt moms) that you would do again, given the chance, & what things would you avoid? MTBs, have you started planning your showers yet? What are things you want, or dont want, shower wise?

Astolate's picture
Joined: 07/16/06
Posts: 433

I don't want to plan it myself this time XD with DS I had 2, 1 that I threw with all my friends and 1 my mom threw and she invited tons of people I didn't even know :/ I think I may try to convince her to coordinate with my best friend (and the baby's godmother) so that we can just have one baby shower with everyone.

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

No shower for me this time. I personally find it a don't to have a shower when your kids are closer together (a few years or less). Even if they're opposite sexes. Girl babies don't care if their bouncer and car seat have boy fabrics. Wink My mom had a shower with my little sister, but we're 10.5 years apart in age. Those cases, a shower is perfectly acceptable!

As a shower guest, pay attention to the registry. I didn't register for bottles because I planned to BF. I felt insulted and like people were saying I wouldn't be able to BF because several bought me bottles and travel formula containers. A good friend of mine at our last base was planning on cloth diapering and registered for cloth diapers. Everyone who hung out with her there knew she was CDing because she talked about her excitement of finding good cheap diapers. People bought her disposable diapers. People who KNEW she was CDing. It was insulting to her. And at 7 months she's still CDing full time even with a military move in there! Just because you may disagree with what's on a registry, it's still a good idea to follow it! Smile

MAJOR DO (to me): Pass the baby gifts around for all to see while you're opening the next gift! This keeps everyone involved in some way and people stop asking "What is that? What does it do? What does it say?" and such. I had a large shower that my mom threw me and this got all the guests talking with each other and no one seemed to be bored at all!

MAJOR DON'T: If the mom had to travel by plane to get to her shower (as I and most of my friends have had to do), ship the item to the mom or give a gift card. It cost way too much for me to ship gifts back to where I lived and I had to return 3 out of 4 gifts due to this. Only two people shipped gifts to me. One of them included a picture in the card of what was headed my way. It was perfect and I loved it. Made my life soooo much easier. My mom who threw that shower even told people when they called to RSVP to keep in mind that I was flying there and couldn't take much back with me.

harmonybear's picture
Joined: 06/06/07
Posts: 639

We don't need anything, even if the baby's a boy (my sister has a boy who will be almost 2 years older than this baby, and all of DD's clothes are already hand-me-downs from my sister's daughter). I would, however, like to have a little gift-free party with friends to celebrate the baby. Does that sound weird?

A big DO for me would be to make sure whoever is in charge of food asks the mom what aversions she has, or what she's been craving.

And I agree, people should buy off the registry. Baby showers are not a place to invoke the Mommy Wars ("cloth diapers are gross, so even if she asked for cloth I'll buy disposables", or "she only has bottle feeding things on her list, but breastfeeding is SO important I'll get her a nursing cover" or whatever). Get the mom what she wants. And if you don't agree with anything on her list, get her a gift card and let her buy it herself! Blum 3

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

"harmonybear" wrote:

We don't need anything, even if the baby's a boy (my sister has a boy who will be almost 2 years older than this baby, and all of DD's clothes are already hand-me-downs from my sister's daughter). I would, however, like to have a little gift-free party with friends to celebrate the baby. Does that sound weird?

A big DO for me would be to make sure whoever is in charge of food asks the mom what aversions she has, or what she's been craving.

And I agree, people should buy off the registry. Blum 3

Doesn't sound weird at all! I'm thinking the first trip home after the new baby is here (probably in late winter/early spring unless we've moved by then :roll:) I will do a meet the baby for friends and relatives to come by and get it over with. It'll probably be along with the kid's baptism too. Though part of me hates the idea of a meet the baby (no gifts please!) because of germs and it's MY baby. Lol

Great point about the food! There was a girl on DS's BB (if I remember correctly) who was GD and there were only sweets and things that she shouldn't be eating at her shower. Talk about rude!

Risstopher's picture
Joined: 02/29/12
Posts: 627

I went to a friend's baby shower today too! It was a beautiful shower. My Mother and sister will be planning my baby shower, they know me pretty well but, I can tell my sister was trying to feel me out today for what i liked/disliked or was indifferent to at the shower today (my sister was invited to the shower too).

I totally agree w/ the asking the Mommy to be of her aversions because my family is Italian and we do all Italian food for every occasion and I cannot eat any Italian (neither could the mom to be of the shower today and she couldn't/can't eat even until now at the end of her pregnancy), so i DEFINITELY second that! she had a brunch, I hinted, A LOT, to my sister that a brunch is an excellent idea for me! lol...

Only speaking from a bridal shower perspective a major DON'T to me is overly eager to take pictures guests. While I love my friends dearly the last HOUR or HOUR AND A HALF was friends 'can we take a picture?' 'oh i don't like that one lets take another', i had no time to talk to any of my guests because of one friend/bridesmaid that is a NUT when it comes to pictures (she's like this at every occasion but at my shower it really irked me), I actually warned her at my sisters baby shower to try and not bombard her for photograhs.

A DO in this respect that they did at the shower i went to do today, is choose a close friend to go around to each table wtih you and take a group photo of you and that table, at least this way it won't take THAT long and you get a picture with everybody.

Kier's picture
Joined: 03/12/12
Posts: 1973

My family only does one shower when you are pregnant with your first, and thats it. So, I wont be getting another one. I agree with buying off the registry. I only got 1 thing off my registry for either of my baby showers. Made me mad that I had put all of my effort into the registry in the first place. Also, as a guest and from that experiance, I would strongly reccomend not putting too much on your registries... Ie. cut out clothes (or limit it to a pack of white onsies that you will need right away... maybe long sleeved since our babies are due when its colder and they are always nice to have to put under things), blankets, and things like that. People like to pick out these things themselves. Just ask that they leave the tags on and get you a gift receipt... just in case you end up with doubles, or they dont fit, etc. If you are doing more than 1 registry, make sure to not double up on the big items. I recommend finding what you like, which store is cheaper for price and shipping costs, and registering for it there. As far as what stores to register at, pick a major store in your area... target is great, and babies r us is good, though their shipping costs are ridiculous. One place I strongly suggest registering at is Amazon.com... especially if you have a lot of out of town people, or are like Always and need a lot of it shipped. Their choices are great, and their shipping is awesome (free if the person spends over $25 on qualifying purchases... which is really easy to do).

As far as games go, think of the people attending. If its co ed, think of things men will like also... and know your guests. When I was planning my sister's we decided that less was more. We set up an area for people to make a scrap book page. They wrote things to my sister, the baby, whatever... decorated it and left a space for a picture. We made sure that each person/family/group that went in on a page also got a picture at some point... we actually put my sister in charge of the pictures since she was milling around talking to everyone... and has a great camera. We also had a station set up for decorating onesies with puffy paint for the baby. Then, at the end, my sister and her husband picked their favorite 3 and the people that made them got a prize. Another good idea is to have a drawing where for each package of diapers a person brings they enter their names into for a drawing for a gift card (or what ever prize you want)... of course, this works best if you plan on using disposables Wink

Honey3.14's picture
Joined: 04/07/12
Posts: 2094

My mother and aunt are old fashioned and dead set against having showers for anything but your first so I'm sure I won't get one.

Joined: 08/11/11
Posts: 262

I had a shower for my DS1, but I didn't have a shower for DS2, and I doubt I'll have one for this little guy either. I do hope to get together with some of my girlfriends, though, to celebrate either before or after he's here. I like that idea Smile

I think I'll put together a registry (Amazon? BRU?) of some of the things I want to replace or upgrade to (like that Ergo!) if for nothing else than to remind me of what I want and maybe get the discount for registry completion!

I definitely agree with the food - make sure it's something the mama to be likes! I also liked at my shower for DS1 having a little non-alcoholic special drink (she did a sparkling punch) - it was so festive! One idea that I loved was having everyone instead of a card bring a children's book that they signed the inside cover of to build baby's library (this is great for first babies, of course!) And you can always see what they are doing for nursery decor and tailor your shower decorations to that theme so that they can maybe use some of the stuff in the nursery. For example, our first son's nursery was sailboat themed and my friend used a model sailboat as a centerpiece and gave it to me for his nursery after the shower was over. He still has it on his shelf.

At my SIL's shower, everyone decorated a white onesie (fabric markers, puffy paint, etc) so they left with a bunch of unique things for their baby and it was fun to see what everyone came up with! Great ice breaker, too, if you have people coming that don't really know each other. And, it keeps people busy while everyone's arriving.

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