tonight, my husband i took a tour of the hospital where we will have baby #2. it is the same hospital center we used before but they built a new building. it was my first time seeing a birthing bed since i delivered leo and let me tell you, it scared the crap out of me. (the funny thing is my husband reacted the same way. we talked about it afterward.) so, i was feeling better about birth until i saw that terrible contraption. it just brought back memories of the final stages of labor and also the 2 hours (yes, 2 hours) of stitches. i felt like i wanted to run out of there. it's also funny because i had two opposing thoughts. one being, just give me an epidural. and the other being, why didn't i just sign up for a homebirth? i can't stand the sight of that bed!!!! ugh!
maybe if i have to do this all over again one day, i will choose a birthing center or do a homebirth.
i don't know why i am reacting to seeing those beds the way that i am. my birth really was good but maybe it was the stitching up that has me all upset.
anyway, i know this post doesn't really make much sense but i guess that i am just scared of labor. i was scared the first time, of course, and didn't expect to be scared this time around, too, the way that i am.