Getting baby to sleep
Why does it seem like MY kids are the only ones who outright refuse to sleep by themselves? *sigh* DD was a very feisty, colicky baby and so we naturally thought that was the reason she refused to sleep without being held. But now M... he's just as sweet and calm as you could imagine from a baby, but as soon as you set him down - whether drowsy or just asleep or SOUND asleep - he is immediately (or at least within 5 minutes) wide awake. It's not really a conditioned thing, either: the first day home from the hospital we were already joking that if you wanted to wake him up, all you had to do was put him down. :/
I know most people will say that I should just let him sleep in my arms, but that isn't really an option longterm because of my health. My health suffered severely because of DD's sleep habits, and DH and I aren't willing to go down that road again. We have a bedside co-sleeper that we would just love for him to sleep in. How can we make this happen?
Just to make it clear, he doesn't sleep in the swing either, and rarely in the car seat. He will sleep in a baby carrier (maya or moby). Swaddling doesn't seem to make a difference. We even tried a pacifier to see if that would work. I've stayed up as late as 2:30 trying to get him to sleep: put him down, wait max 10 minutes for him to wake up, wait another 10 minutes until it's obvious he's not going to put himself to sleep, pick him up, repeat ad nauseum, for hours. Then finally give up and go to sleep with him on top of me (he'll sleep 2-4 hours in a row like that, even 5 hours a time or two).
Does anyone have any magic ideas? I'm not trying to get him to STTN. I'd be happy with him consistently sleeping 2 hours at a time. Even 30 minutes would be a start! What's the secret?
Aiden slept waaaay better next to me. Zoe is the same way. So we happily bed share at night. With Aiden I did many cosleeping naps. Zoe naps in a carrier or swing or bouncer or in someone's arms. Thankfully she's a motion junkie so those contraptions work when wearing and holding aren't possible. I think most babies desire to be be held. It's so comforting to them. It's just what they need. If Zoe is in bed next to me she'll sleep 3-4 hour spurts, but if she's not (which she wasn't for two nights due to needing to be upright for her cold) she's up every 30-60 minutes. Fun times.
Gideon is the same as Zoe. He likes to be held to go to sleep then we usually move him into his bouncer and he sleeps in that in the bed next to us.
Ugh, he even wakes up if I put him in bed next to me. I suppose I just have to keep trying, and one day he'll magically sleep on his own? Or else we'll have to do sleep training much earlier than I'd like to. :(
So are there any babies out there who actually sleep in their cribs without fuss from the beginning? I know babies have a need to be held - that's one of the reasons we wear our babies instead of using the bucket seats, and why we bed shared with DD - but there's the perception that babies ought to naturally fall asleep in their cribs, no problem. Why does that persist if many/most babies just aren't like that?
Its a pain to hear but my 2 siblings and I STTN in our cribs from day 1. My mom didn't do anything to make it happen, we just did. Kostas was not like that... The only thing that worked for him other than being held was side lying nursing/co-sleeeping. Marek seems to be the same way so far.
(((hugs))) Its so hard to deal with sleeping issues.
My mom was telling me when they were here earlier this month that both me and my sister slept in our cribs without any issues and were STTN by 6 weeks. My father came up behind her and said bull that she did CIO which he knows doesn't happen in my house. My little sister is 10 years younger and I remember her crying and waking me up and my mom telling me she was fine and to leave her be. Does make me wonder how many people forgot what they did to lead to STTN and if it's really natural. I know some kiddos SO sleep better in their own space, but I don't think it's as many as society makes it seem. Around the world most people actually cosleep (which means room sharing) with many of them even bed sharing for at least part of the night. It's not typical most places for babies to sleep in their own room from the start. Just that decades ago professionals got it in mom's heads that their babies were manipulating them from birth and need to sleep long stretches at night (just read some of those old parenting books and articles!). It became the culture norm. Biologically newborns wakes up many times (so yes they can be very light sleepers) which is actually a safety feature for them to stay alive and keep their systems regulated. Over time they naturally lose this safety feature as they don't need it anymore since their systems are more mature. So meanwhile we live in the survival phase. I remember there was a huge sleep disturbance with my son at 4 months. It wasn't till then that routines actually did anything and he started having a consistent nap schedule.
Originally Posted by harmonybear
My oldest didnt sleep through the night till after he was over 3 and we moved DS2 into the room with him. Till then he would end up in bed with us at some point during the night. DS2 came home sleeping 4 to 6 hr stretches. Dd was right between them, though always slept better if in bed with us. Kellen starts the night off in his pack n play next to the bed on my side. He wakes up to eat usually between 2 and 4 am and sleeps in bed with us till his brother s and sister get up between 5:30 and 6:30am (depending on the day).
One thing I suggest, that Ive had to do in the past, is send my LO to bed with DH and sleep the first part of the night on the couch. That way I get at least a few hrs of deep sleep. There have even been times where I pump a bottle or 2 for the night, and have DH sleep on adifferent floor or room so I get one night of un interupted good sleep. Its not something that will completely help with your lo's sleep issue, but it does help with your help and sanity till he out grows this sleep stage
I guess I have been pretty lucky with my kids. Archer is 6wks, and sleeps a good 6-7 hour stretch every night in his bassinet. I don't know if that qualifies as STTN, but I'll take it! We head to bed between 9-11 at night, and he wakes around 3-5am for a feed and goes quickly back to sleep. He primarily sleeps in his bassinet a few feet from my side of the bed, but we also bed share. I don't sleep as well when we bed share, so I prefer him in his bassinet, but my DH is still out of town a LOT (like 6 nights a week), so Archer and I have the whole bed to ourselves. I get lazy and let him sleep with me after his night feed until it's time to get up a few hours later with the other kids.
I will say the first few weeks of getting him to sleep in the bassinet were a little rough. He would wiggle and fuss a little bit, but I stayed next to him gently rocking the bassinet or stroking his head/cheek so he knew I was there. Our bassinet has a vibrate feature that Archer seems to find soothing as well. Sometimes I would get out of bed 5 times until he settled. If he cried I would pick him up and do what I needed to reassure him, whether it was nursing or just patting his back. But we stayed pretty consistent with that routine, and now all I have to do is swaddle him and lay him down and he stares off at something for a few minutes before he falls asleep.
What we stuggle with here is day time naps! We do not CIO here until my babies are older - if it's really necesarry. Archie gets worn a lot during the day in my Solly Wrap (Moby) and tolerates his carseat just fine. I bought a swing for the first time (Mostly because my DH is gone so much), I felt like I would need something to entertain him when I can't babywear or need to give the other 4 kids attention. Or lets be honest - sometimes I really just need a 20 minute break! He isn't a big fan of his bouncer or swing, so it's hard to get official naps in, unless I'm wearing him - which is fine. But I would really like him to nap independently so I have a little free time during the day to sew. I tried sewing with him in the Wrap, and it was semi awkward to hunch over my sewing machine, I didn't like it and neither did he! He did take a 3 hour nap yesterday and today swaddled in his bassinet, so maybe we are getting close. Seems like there is always some kind of trade-off when it comes to babies and sleeping habits!
And I suppose we have to take into account that babies used to be put to sleep on their tummies, and most babies sleep more deeply that way. I wonder how much less sleep moms get today, with all the SIDS recommendations that make babies lighter sleepers?
I'll just have to adjust my expectations. He did sleep for 2 hours in the crib this morning from 5-7, so there is hope. ;)
I'm in the same situation, Carson will sleep perfectly fine in my arms but the moment I lay him down he's up and crying. He slept in the swing for a few hours the first few days home but then idk what changed and he just won't sleep anywhere but in MY arms. :/ He won't even sleep in DHs arms during the day. It's frustrating because I can't get anything done around the house. Thankfully he only does this during the day, I can usually get him to sleep in our mini graco bassinet/playpen thing next to our bed from 9pm-6am (waking up ever 3 hours on the dot to eat of course). I hope you get it figured out so you can get some rest!