How do you move on???

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Kier's picture
Joined: 03/12/12
Posts: 1973
How do you move on???

From your "child bearing" part of your life? I just posted about this a little bit in our weight loss suport thread, but DH just texted that he scheduled his consult appt for his vas. I knew this was coming, hes been saying he was going to do it since the begging of my pregnancy with Kellen, but just never got around to actually making the appt. Well, now he has, so now its getting real.

I know that I have been extreamly blessed with my 4 kids. And, am, at this point, knowing that we are done. But, the finality of it is hitting me now, and I'm sad. The hormones from Bfing still so are not helping either lol.

haysmama's picture
Joined: 02/23/08
Posts: 1181

I was hoping to read some helpful comments because we are done having kids too. No permanent measures are being taken just yet. But it's still a little sad thinking that I'll never carry another baby inside me again.

Joined: 12/11/02
Posts: 485

I am struggling with that right now. I think it's been extra hard being we were told pretty much not to have a 3rd with all that happened with Sam.

So back in October we went with perm birth control.

I know it's for the best as I couldn't do another NICU stay and going through bedrest and a cerclage again would be so much stress.

It's hard though as I enjoyed being pregnant and really would have lived to experience a normal pregnancy. I really would have loved to experience my baby coming home with me from the hospital.

Joined: 12/11/02
Posts: 485

Love not lived (on my phone)

AkMomma07's picture
Joined: 07/04/07
Posts: 1159

I have at least 2 more hypothetical babies left to have and even I get freaked out thinking about when the day comes that I'm done...

Kier's picture
Joined: 03/12/12
Posts: 1973

Shannon- How far apart are you planning to space your babies? spacing them out may help with that??? I am 29, started having babies when I was 21 (well, got pregnant at 21, had DS1 when I was 22). I never wanted to be pregnant into my 30's, given my health, past pregnancy issues, and so on. But, now, I'm thinking that it wouldnt have been so bad. Oh well. I guess I shouldnt dwell on that. I should look at it as my 20's were for having babies, now my 30's will be about raising babies Smile

Nicky- I would feel gipped as well. My middles were only a month early, and came home with us, but I still remember feeling that I missed out on that last bit with them, and with DS2 I think part of my PPD was grieving the loss of that time. If that makes any sense. I couldnt imagine what you all have gone through. Not having any more maybe what is best for your family, but it still doesnt make it easier Sad

Beth- Same church, different pew lol. Last night DH was saying how he really likes the name Savannah (that was going to be DS1's name if he would have been a girl) and had heard it on the news and he wants to keep it on reserve. I asked him if he was re thinking his procedure, and he said no. That maybe someday we will be able to adopt or something and have another girl that way and will be able to use the name. He says if not, hes ok with the way things are. That the only way our family will grow is through fostering or adopting when/if we can afford it. I agree, that there are so many kids out there that need a safe place to call home, and I would love to be that family for that child... I just still am a little sad that I will never experience another pregnancy, feeling a baby move inside me, and will even miss the whole giving birth part. None of my pregnancies have been easy, all have landed me on some sort of rest or restricitons, stressful, and 2 ended with early babies. But, even with all that, I'm still sad that I wont experience it again Sad

AkMomma07's picture
Joined: 07/04/07
Posts: 1159

I had Kostas at 21 and I only meant to have 3-4 years between him and the next baby (Marek) but I kept putting it off and putting it off and then it took us 9 months to get pregnant with Marek so they ended up being just shy of 5.5 years apart. I think when Marek turns 2 we will start trying for the next baby. My plan from the beginning was to have a baby every 3-4 years. I'm not the kind of mom who would do well with close age gaps so I don't want to go any closer than that. Also this way when I get baby fever, I still have more babies left to have! Smile