I have concluded myself, though i'm not a doctor that i probably don't have PPD - but i definitely do have anxiety and am keeping my counselor appointment for today.
Since DH has been taking 1 of the late night feedings and i'm getting more sleep i feel more stable, i'm also letting little things go - like a dish in the sink, or a blind that isn't sitting quite right... i dont jump up and do it until she is asleep - although it is on my mind, i am pushing through it knowing that she needs me more than the blind needs to be fixed...
reasoning in my head when i'm not so fired up is making me realize that she's only going to be a baby once and if i don't live in the moment right now i am going to really hate myself later...
i'm also a Spiritual person and i used to go to a Metaphysical bookstore/center for weekly meditations and weekly spiritual support groups - yesterday they had a 'psychic fair' where you get a 15-20 minute psyhic reading and they can also do Chakra tune-ups, so i went - got an outstanding on point reading that actually encouraged me seeing a therapist for validation and to see how normal i actually am - he also said that there is nothing wrong with my main goal right now being, just to be a good mother ... i think i start to wonder what i'm gonna do in the future when she grows up for a job and it starts to stress me out since i'm not working right now... DH agreed that i need to go to these groups on wednesday nights and the meditations on saturday nights and he's ok with watching Kyla while i go. they are only 1 to 2 hours and i always felt so great going there and seeing all those wonderful people. actually one of the facilitators of the group is a reverend and he married DH and I.
ALSO - i went to get my nails done and a haircut, so between that and the chakra tune up, i feel great - and each day since my very bad day ive felt better and better... so i'm ruling PPD out...
i have my counseling appointment at 12:30 today that i am still looking forward to to sort some unsettled things out in my head anyway, i have to bring Kyla with me since i have no one to watch her so i'm a little nervous about that, but she's a good baby so i'm sure it'll be fine.
Glad to hear you are feeling better and have a game plan!
Mama to Kostas with the Mostest, born 07/10/07
and Marek "Cricket" Joshua, born 12/07/12
I'm glad you're feeling better!
Renee and Al
Owen Romeo Gerard - 11/28/2012 - 7lbs 12 ozs.