The whole reason I am keeping my pregnancy hush hush is because of some of the rude/mean things people said to me during and after my last pregnancy (stuff like I shouldnt have been prego with my daughter, that I better not
haveany more, blah blah blah... never from my doc, just from people). I did have one nurse lecture me about not going in so much, wondering why I was so stressed, blah blah blah.
With my first pregnancy I started having contractions at 30 weeks. I was able to control them with meds, and restrictions. With my 2nd they started at 28 weeks, and again, the meds and reducing my activity (as much as I could with a 2.5 year old running around) helped. Though, with my 2nd my water broke at 36 weeks, the night after I had stopped taking my meds.
With my 3rd I had started my pregnancy off in a bad place. My grandmother had just passed away, a friend of mine and her daughter were murdered, I was still nursing my 9 almost 10 month old, and find out that I am pregnant. At my first appointment I saw someone who worked with my dr, not my actual doctor... she was actually a mid wife that worked with him. Any way, she told me that I had to stop nursing right away or I would mis carry. Also, that given my history, and the fact that my pregnancies were less than a year apart, I was at a higher risk for more complications and for losing the baby. So, I started off my pregnancy scared to death that I would lose her. There were also a lot of other roller coasters (emotionally) through out my pregnancy. So, any little thing that happened that wasnt "normal", sent me in to panic. Long story short, I was in the OB unit getting checked more often, and did end up with more complications at the end. Though, my daughter was born healthy and happy.
So, now that I am prego again, I'm sure I am going to hear more bs. What people dont know, is that I am in a completely different place than I was when I was pregnant the last time. Yes, there is a 40% chance that I will have pre term contractions... before I would have focused on that 40% chance... But, there is a 60% chance that I wont... and that is what I am looking at. Also, I am down to the weight I was when I got prego with my first, so I am at a much healthier BMI, I plan on staying much more active, and healthy in general. There is also an almost 2 year gap between my pregnancies this time, and my husband is way more engaged, and his work situation is much less stressful. Also, I am treating this like its a completely different pregnancy then my last 3. Hell, even my last 3 were different from one enough in many ways. My oldest is almost 6, and way more helpful. He also will be in the 1st grade when I am due. My 2nd is 3, will be almost 4 when I am due. He is in the early childhood program, so is gone part of the day, 4 days a week (he has a speech delay, though is making awesome progress). He is also potty training, and will hopefully (fingers crossed) be out of diapers (maybe except at night) by the time I am due. He is also such a big help with his younger sister already (very protective), and I am sure he will be with this baby. My youngest will be 2 soon, and almost 2.5 by the time this baby is due. She is getting more and more independent with each passing day. She is small for her age, but that just means I wont have to worry about lifting her as much as the boys. I am also hoping that with both of the boys being toilet trained (training), and them home for the summer, that she will want to join the under wear wagon too. We shall see. There are risks with any pregnancy, no matter who you are. You cant let that stop you from enjoying it.
I am feeling more emotional right now. If people say something, I'm not sure that I will hold back like I have in the past. If people cant be happy for us, or keep their negativity to themselves, then I dont need them in my life. I am making it a point to cut all the stress I can out of my, and my family's, life. To focus on the good in life, and not the negative. I am planning on talking with my OB, letting her know that I realize that there are risks of complications, but I dont want to hear about them. I know what they are, and I am prepared to deal with them if they arise... but that they arent going to lol. Now, that doesnt mean that I'm not going to handle things in a better safe than sorry way if I have any question on "is this normal". And, I am still going to ask that they do the extra ultrasounds to watch for signs of the baby having OI (Osteogenisis Imperfecta... I have it, my daughter has it, and there is a 50/50 chance that this baby will have it... just like with all of my babies). Not that I would terminate, or that it changes anything, it just helps to know what to look for after the baby is born. If xrays are needed, etc. But, as long as the baby is healthy, and not at risk, I'm not going to worry.
Thank you for "listening" to my rant. The down side of not wanting to tell people yet, is that I also dont have many people to talk to.
Wow, you've really a rough go with your pregnancies but they all seemed to turn out fine in the end. It's sad that people will give you BS about your current pregnancy but don't listen to them. You have a family and a new one on the way to worry about. Focus your energy on that and forget about everyone else. Some people are just so miserable with their own lives that they like to pick on others.
Good luck to you!!
I think it's just awful that anyone would pass judgement on your pregnancies like that. First off, it's your body, it's your choice. And second off, once you're pregnant there's nothing they can do about it except take care of you and make sure you're doing well so it's stupid to scold you for getting pregnant. I'm afraid I might deal with some of this as well because I'm immune compromised and that makes things so much harder. So far it's all been positive feedback, especially from doctors since my main doc that cares for the illness said he thought I was in a good place and healthy enough to get pregnant. But I know how you feel to an extent when it feels like everything is against you. I wouldn't sit back and be quiet and keep my mouth shut if someone was talking to me that way. I'm usually like that but I find being pregnant makes it much easier for me to speak my mind. But you're right. You've been through this enough times to know what to expect and it's important for you to be able to feel as good as you can and be calm and happy and enjoy it and focus on the positive. I bet everything will be just fine since it seems there are some definite positive changes this time including your outlook. And we're all here if you need to vent or talk. It is hard with everyone not knowing yet and having to keep all of these emotions and feelings to yourself so vent away sweetie! It makes things so much better I think! Giant hugs to you!
I'm sorry you have to deal with people's rudeness. It is no one's business if you have more children. I think you definitely have the right attitude of focusing on the good. You do what is best for you and your family. Your baby and your other children are your first priority. I know it can be hard to brush of people's comments ( I got them with #5 and know I'll get even more this time) but you know how much your baby is wanted and loved. Any time you get start to get upset just think of that sweet baby inside you and how exciting it will be told hold him or her! We are here any time you need to vent!
Connor, Landon, Liam, Noah, Keaton, Amaris and 9/04 12/04 11/11 1/12
Thanks everyone. I love that my sister told me about this website. Having support, even from a far, helps. I have slowly been telling more people. Mainly friends that I know will be supportive, and excited for us. Yesterday my DH came home from work and told me all about why he is so excited about this pregnancy. He is being super cute about everything.... which really helps. A friend of mine bought me a pair of maternity shorts yesterday, and then I bought myself a shirt when my sister and I went shopping today. I am getting more and more excited, and less nervous about unsupportive people
I totally understand about what you are going through with the rude comments and such. The other day a girl who is not the nicest is in her early 20's has 2 kids and is a single mother. Well she never said congrats to me and then when I went to the drs she asked how did that go and I said good etc and I also said I am feeling really good about this pregnancy cause of all my symptoms are so strong and she said well this is your 3rd pregnancy and I said no its my 6th cause I have had 3 miscarriages. and Then she said "Well if this pg doesnt work out then you should stop trying because its not healthy for the baby with all your complications and age." My jaw just dropped!! I could not believe she said that to me!! People are so freakin clueless and stupid!!! Hang in there! Any baby is a major blessing from GOD and who cares about any of their opinions. I hope everything will go great with this pregnancy for you!!
Me too!!! I cant wait to get my ultrasound (3/30) too so I can see that everything is ok.You should definately put that disclaimer on it!! I love it!! Hopefully that will shut a lot of people up! ; )
Yeah, hopefully. Only problem is that a couple of the people I'm worried about are in my family... cant exactly just cut them out. But, I may just end up having to limit contact with them. The way I look at it at this point, is that if they cant be supportive, then they dont deserve to be a part of my, or my family's, life. Oh well. Heres to hoping for a fast couple of weeks for us both, and for twins for you
Thank you! I hope it does too for both us! my sister in law is not very supportive with me getting pregnant. She has 4 kids and she keeps telling me I am crazy for wanting more kids. Ummmm its none of her business but I cant cut her out either. We just need to ignore all those negetive comments from those negetive people!