Not finding out?

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haysmama's picture
Joined: 02/23/08
Posts: 1181
Not finding out?

I think there may be one or two who aren't finding out gender...

DH has wanted a delivery room surprise four times now, but I have always gotten my way. Now that this is our last, I almost feel like I owe it to him to not find out until delivery. It is so hard for me to wait, though, I'm so impatient! We are still discussing it and I'm trying to wrap my head around the thought of not knowing (it seems so crazy to me to not want to know, lol). So how do you prepare for baby? Do you wash both gender clothing (if you have both already)? Do you buy all neutrals and then go shopping after baby is born? Also, how do you prepare emotionally? Is it much different trying to connect with the baby on that level? Is the surprise really worth the wait? I keep thinking that you get to spread out the surprises when you find out at the u/s...u/s you find out the gender, then at delivery you get to meet baby and see what he/she looks like and get to know them. If you wait, it all happens at once. I don't know. I guess I'd like to read some experiences of people who are waiting or who have waited in the past.

Kier's picture
Joined: 03/12/12
Posts: 1973

I personally have never waited... and DH has never wanted to either. My sister waited with both of hers. She bought a girl take home outfit, and a boy take home outfit.. left the tags on, and brought both to the hospital. Then, her DH exchanged the one they didnt need. She also didnt have to worry about clothes. Her oldest was a boy, and her kids were due 13 months apart so she never got rid of anything. Her 2nd did end up being a girl though, but luckily, she had all of my and my other sister's hand me downs Smile

I personally am like you, I HAVE to know... to prepare, pick a name, etc. If my DH didnt want to know I am not sure what I would want to do. Good luck making the decision. Is there a way that you could find out so that he wouldnt? Where you and only you knew. Then, you could secretly pack the bags when its time (he would have to make it a point not to look in the bag ahead of time), you can pick both a boy and girl name, and just happen to know which one you will use... If that all works lol

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

The only reason I want to know the gender is for naming purposes. DH and I do not agree on names at all and it was a huge battle naming DS. I'd rather argue over one gender name rather than two. Wink Otherwise it just doesn't matter to me. All of our gear is gender neutral. Newborns don't care what clothes they wear, so as long as it doesn't say "boy" on the sleeper itself I'd put on a girl anyway. If we have a girl I'd like to redo the nursery decor (it's all airplanes), but honestly if I don't get to it till possible she is 3 months it's not a big deal. She wouldn't care.

Joined: 02/17/12
Posts: 230

We've done it both ways... We found out with #1&2. By the time we got to #3 we already had a boy and a girl, so we figured - what the heck!? Lets do something different this time. She was a surprise and I LOVED it! It was so fun! Like Always said - newborns don't need much! We ended up buying one a boy/girl take home outfit. I think I also bought a couple cute blankets that were on super clearance, but that's it! I made sure to have the bins of hand me downs ready to wash when we came home and knew if it was a boy/girl. I really wanted a few new items, so I gave my sister $100 and a card that my OB had written the gender in, and I had her do some shopping for me! She mailed us the box, and we took it to the hospital and opened it after she was born. She made us a beautiful girly quilt and bought several outfits to boost our hand me down supply. Being a single teenager, she loved being trusted with such a big secret!

I honestly LOVED the surprise. I didn't find it hard to bond/connect with the baby during pregnancy. And in the delivery room, it made labor so much more fun! I couldn't wait to get her out and hear my OB yell out boy/girl. All the nurses we buzzing about it, it was fun to keep guessing and making bets.

We tried to do the same with #4, but my mom wasn't all that thrilled that she was kept out of the loop on #3, so I ended up letting her peek at the gender card. And she ruined the surprise when I was about 38 weeks pregnant. I was SO annoyed and she insisted that she didn't spill the beans...but whatever, water under the bridge.

This time we are finding out. I've had to get rid of most of my baby boy stuff because it's all so stained from sitting in boxes for 9 years! DS was a major spitter, so I had to throw out all the stained stuff. Plus it was all a little out of style! I kept a few keepsake items from each size range and donated the rest. And our girl stuff has been through 3 girls, so it's looking pretty rag tag! And again, this is #5 and I am ready to do something different. I have an appt tomorrow and my OB said I would have another ultrasound, so hopefully we will be able to find out!

Good luck deciding!! Ultimately it's a surprise either way! Its like peeking at a Christmas present months before Chirstmas. Even though you know what you are getting, it's SO EXCITING to see that gift under the tree! And you can't wait to open it!

Kier's picture
Joined: 03/12/12
Posts: 1973

"argylefrog" wrote:

We've done it both ways... We found out with #1&2. By the time we got to #3 we already had a boy and a girl, so we figured - what the heck!? Lets do something different this time. She was a surprise and I LOVED it! It was so fun! Like Always said - newborns don't need much! We ended up buying one a boy/girl take home outfit. I think I also bought a couple cute blankets that were on super clearance, but that's it! I made sure to have the bins of hand me downs ready to wash when we came home and knew if it was a boy/girl. I really wanted a few new items, so I gave my sister $100 and a card that my OB had written the gender in, and I had her do some shopping for me! She mailed us the box, and we took it to the hospital and opened it after she was born. She made us a beautiful girly quilt and bought several outfits to boost our hand me down supply. Being a single teenager, she loved being trusted with such a big secret!

I honestly LOVED the surprise. I didn't find it hard to bond/connect with the baby during pregnancy. And in the delivery room, it made labor so much more fun! I couldn't wait to get her out and hear my OB yell out boy/girl. All the nurses we buzzing about it, it was fun to keep guessing and making bets.

We tried to do the same with #4, but my mom wasn't all that thrilled that she was kept out of the loop on #3, so I ended up letting her peek at the gender card. And she ruined the surprise when I was about 38 weeks pregnant. I was SO annoyed and she insisted that she didn't spill the beans...but whatever, water under the bridge.

This time we are finding out. I've had to get rid of most of my baby boy stuff because it's all so stained from sitting in boxes for 9 years! DS was a major spitter, so I had to throw out all the stained stuff. Plus it was all a little out of style! I kept a few keepsake items from each size range and donated the rest. And our girl stuff has been through 3 girls, so it's looking pretty rag tag! And again, this is #5 and I am ready to do something different. I have an appt tomorrow and my OB said I would have another ultrasound, so hopefully we will be able to find out!

Good luck deciding!! Ultimately it's a surprise either way! Its like peeking at a Christmas present months before Chirstmas. Even though you know what you are getting, it's SO EXCITING to see that gift under the tree! And you can't wait to open it!

Can't wait for your reveal update Smile So exciting Smile

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

Amy, I love what you did with your sister! Very cute and exciting. Smile

Joined: 07/14/07
Posts: 860

***LURKER***

With DD, it was a surprise. It was awesome in the delivery room, after she was born! Everyone was so excited to find out and then to have DH run out into the waiting room to tell everyone else was so much fun! I don't feel I had any problem connecting at all - it was my baby regardless.

We bought all gender neutral clothing, furniture, etc......then family and friends bought and brought over pink stuff after she was born. Smile

haysmama's picture
Joined: 02/23/08
Posts: 1181

Thanks ladies. Smile

Amy and Erica- I really needed to hear that you loved the surprise! I have been afraid of it being anti-climactic, so that made me feel better!

Amy- That was a really great idea about having your sister go shopping secretly. I'm afraid of what happened with your mom happening to me, though, lol. That is SUCH a bummer that she accidentally spilled!

We won't have a nursery this time because this baby will share a room with one of the older kids after several months of staying in our room, so that's not really an issue. I know the baby won't care what he/she's wearing, but I do. lol I have dressed my DD in DS1's boy things to supplement so I didn't have to buy a lot, but I wouldn't send her out in boy clothes. My only issue is that I've donated almost all of my girl things to my SIL and to another lady who is a friend of my mom's. I think what I'll do is have my SIL get the girl things together and I'll just get them from her "in case." Then just have everything sorted and organized so that when we get home from the hospital it's all ready to go. I'm sure if it's a girl that my mom won't mind taking me on a shopping spree either. Wink So, as long as DH still wants to, I think we're going to wait (and as long as I can contain myself at the 20 week u/s)!

Maybe if I put a "surprise" blinkie in my siggy it will help me stay focused. Smile Oh, I might have to take a break from the board once the genders start rolling in...it might push me over the edge! haha

livinitup's picture
Joined: 03/15/12
Posts: 125

This is our third also and we have chose to keep it a surprise. I love the idea of giving money to someone else to go and buy outfits and such.

haysmama's picture
Joined: 02/23/08
Posts: 1181

It's good to know there are others not finding out. I'm actually getting more and more excited to wait!

Joined: 12/11/02
Posts: 485

With our son with kicked around the idea of waiting and decided to find out. There is a small part of me that would have loved the surprise but I am so impatient with things and also with him being a preemie we were already so unprepared I think not knowing would have made it alittle harder.

belindab's picture
Joined: 06/15/02
Posts: 1033

We've found out the sex with 2 of the boys and were surprised with the other 3. We are waiting this time. It is SOOO worth the wait! There's nothing like that moment when he/she is born and they announce "it's a___!". The anticipation made the delvery day that much more exciting. I remember having all my family waiting in the hospital for the big news. With DS #1, the nurse brought all of them into the room (there were about 12 people!) and DH and I announced it to everyone together. We have the big reveal moment on tape Smile I bonded with all my boys while pregnant whether we found out or not. For me, it was feeling them move that started it, not knowing the sex. We bought/ were given several gender neutral sleepers and then got gender specific outfits afterwards. With DS 2, , DH took DS1 to the store while I was in the hospital and they picked out the coming home outfit together Smile I admit, that I get really curious at times but knowing how exciting that big moment will be makes it all worth it!

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