So lately there has been a lot of drama in my family. (sorry this is kinda long so scroll down to the second paragraph for the short version)
My dad is an ex-drug addict and alcoholic. Growing up he frequently disappeared and pawned our property to support his habit, my mom has always been an enabler. Lately he's been drinking again and my mom doesn't approve (which she obviously shouldn't because of his past) so instead of staying home to drink he disappears for days at a time again, I'm worried he might be doing drugs again too. Every time he does this my mom completely takes it out on me, it's like because she's miserable I have to be miserable too. She comes over and complains about everything, not my dad but literally everything else. Mainly she's started complaining about how we're raising DS, she thinks that he gets yelled at too much. When I was younger I was terrified of her because she would yell at us for hours and hours about the smallest stupid stuff. When DS gets yelled at it's like he's in the backyard about to do something that could hurt himself or put himself in danger and gets yelled at not to do it out the window and that's the end of it - If he does it anyway he goes to his room/time out. If she's here when he does it she tried to undermine me and comfort him/come to his defense. She's also started complaining because DH doesn't help me out around the house and it's always a mess. My DH may not be perfect but he works hard and he would never abandon me or DS for days on end without food or money, basically he isn't a drug addict or alcoholic like my dad was (or is?). Today my dad wasn't around and he was supposed to come over and pick up an above ground pool to take to their house so she comes over and immediately starts complaining that my DH didn't do it. It's really not a one person job and apparently my excuse of "being pregnant" "gets old". I do a lot for being pregnant but anytime I try to do anything around her she tells me not to do anything..... After I commented about my dad not being around and she should take it up with him since he promised to help take it over she flipped on me. I asked her to leave and then went to my room hoping she would. I made DH do what she wanted and planned to call her to have her come pick it up but not even an hour later she called me telling me she wanted some left over chicken from our BBQ on sat. I told her to come pick it up because DH had gone to the store for me and she starts flinging profanity at me, it was obvious that she was just looking for a fight and we got into it and then I hung up on her.
So my mom's pessimistic negative attitude has really been putting a lot of stress on me. I'm really sad, I love my mom but I just can't stand the negativity anymore and it breaks my heart to see my 5 year old having promises broken by my dad like I did when I was his age. I told her I didn't want her in my life or my kids life anymore, the stress she's putting me under isn't healthy for me. I don't know if I did the right thing but I've tried talking to her and him about it and neither one of them seemed to care enough to do something about it. Our lease is up at the end of this month and I'm seriously contemplating just moving without telling her to a different town and being completely done with it. I'm not sure what the grandparent rights are in California, but if she contested for them I would give her visitation with my DS but I really don't want her or my dad in the new baby's life now.
Anyone been in this type of situation or have any words of wisdom for me?