What would you do?

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-x-Amber-x-'s picture
Joined: 10/08/06
Posts: 642
What would you do?

So about a year ago I borrowed my "friend" my porta crib for her baby. Well, I contacted her and let her know that I would be needing it back. She finally gets back to me today and tells me the crib is in another state and that she doesnt plan on going there anytime soon! I paid over $50 for this crib and the regular size crib wont fit in our room! Am I wrong for wanting her to replace it? I am really upset! She is pregnant and due in Sept and I think that she just wants to keep it so she doesnt have to buy a crib! Grrrrr! Im frustrated!

Leah261's picture
Joined: 09/14/11
Posts: 1244

I definitely don't think it's wrong for wanting her to replace it unless she paid for it or something. If she borrowed it than clearly she didn't pay for it. I'd be upset too I don't blame you. I'm not entirely sure how I'd handle something like that but I can certainly understand the upset. My BIL and SIL want to borrow our pack n play that my step sister gave us and of course they don't know we're expecting yet. I'm a little afraid to give it to them this time because instead of them borrowing it while they're visiting they'll be borrowing it while staying with someone else though they've always taken care of it before. When it was taking forever ttc I wasn't so worried about it but now I feel possessive. Lol. They don't need it until May at least. Haha. Sorry I'm rambling now. I'm not sure how I'd deal with your situation though but you have every right to be upset and I agree it does kind of sound like she's trying to find an excuse to keep it. I hope it gets resolved soon and you either get it back or get it replaced.

lemonlemon's picture
Joined: 12/30/07
Posts: 1904

I'd be upset too. I kind of know what you mean, because after I had DS my BFF got pregnant- so I let her borrow a TON of stuff- all of my maternity clothes which were 200+ dollars (I got a motherhood mat. gift card for my bday so I actually bought lots of mat clothes) and my boppy, and just throughout the last year + let her borrow stuff that brody had outgrown... well then she got pregnant again, and so she reused all of it- and now I casually mention I have no MAT clothes- and she has none either- she basically "sold" all of her/my stuff on ebay and stuff- and never really returned anything- but makes me sad bcuz shes already selling her new babys stuff- im kind of upset that she wouldnt save it INCASE i have a girl and need clothes or something- or offer to sell them to me.. kind of annoying.
I think preg hormones effect a lot of it- so maybe your friend/you are both hormonal right now so I think when were hormonal we take things out of context a lot- so we get even more upset.
I'd say "please have the crib sent or pay for it. I dont have a crib and I need mine back, I was depending on that for my next pregnancy and was nice enough to let you borrow it"
bleh. people are so inconsiderate.

LoriLoo's picture
Joined: 07/19/07
Posts: 144

yeah, I would probably just let her know the cost and your address so she can reimburse you. That's what I would expect if I were in her position. If something is loaned to me that i cannot return, then I definitely owe that person an item!

mandynz's picture
Joined: 01/29/12
Posts: 755

"lemonlemon" wrote:

I'd be upset too. I kind of know what you mean, because after I had DS my BFF got pregnant- so I let her borrow a TON of stuff- all of my maternity clothes which were 200+ dollars (I got a motherhood mat. gift card for my bday so I actually bought lots of mat clothes) and my boppy, and just throughout the last year + let her borrow stuff that brody had outgrown... well then she got pregnant again, and so she reused all of it- and now I casually mention I have no MAT clothes- and she has none either- she basically "sold" all of her/my stuff on ebay and stuff- and never really returned anything- but makes me sad bcuz shes already selling her new babys stuff- im kind of upset that she wouldnt save it INCASE i have a girl and need clothes or something- or offer to sell them to me.. kind of annoying.

My friend did the same thing Sad I lent her a MAT dress that I loved to wear even when I wasn't pregnant and never got it back...

Amber - I would totally ask her to replace it or at least give you the second hand value of the crib at the time she borrowed it...you lent it to her, you need it back...she needs to give it back or replace it! I mean she has 8 months to come up with the money...it's not a big ask!

-x-Amber-x-'s picture
Joined: 10/08/06
Posts: 642

I told her that she would need to replace, that I didnt give it to her I borrowed it to her, and she said that she cant afford to replace it and she had more important things to worry about!!! WHAT??? So because you borrowed something from me and arent giving it back, I have to go out and buy a new crib. Im pissed to be honest with you! I cant believe that she is acting this way. I told her if she is doing that then she is stealing. Everyone that I have asked about the situation believes that she should replace it, but obviously she has no intentions of doing so. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

CrescentMoonMama's picture
Joined: 01/11/08
Posts: 66

I'm glad you put "friend" in quotes in the first message. Ugh, what a situation. I'd wipe my hands of her as obviously you won't be getting the crib back or reimbursed. The only idea I had is to contact the person who has the crib out of state. Maybe they can mail it to you. It might be cheaper than buying a new one. Though there is no telling the current condition. Maybe the person who has it will feel some sort of obligation to help you.

-x-Amber-x-'s picture
Joined: 10/08/06
Posts: 642

She is pregnant as well and I am pretty sure that she just wants to keep it for herself. Some people just dont have any morals or values left!

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